I really need a Froyo Shop AU where Lance works there as a bubbly cashier and Keith comes in one day and just orders the plain yogurt flavor, no toppings, nothing (Lance is APPALLED and frankly disappointed in this cute boy with eyes more colorful than his flavor palette apparently). So, Lance starts a mission of making different concoctions for Keith because he comes in at the same time each week and then they fall in love over froyo.
Neil worked the evening shift at the local frozen yogurt shop, The Fox Paw. This was his first real job and for the most part Neil liked it. He liked sampling all the new flavors with his coworker, Matt, and helping Renee slice and chop the toppings.
It was during Neil’s third day on the job that he encountered the couple. The one guy was short, shorter than Neil, and blond. He glanced over at Neil as he entered the shop, silently acknowledging Neil’s obligatory greeting (”Welcome to The Fox Paw! How may I help you?” Neil kind of died a little bit every time he said it). The other guy was tall, super fit, with dark hair and the number 2 tattooed below his eye. He ignored Neil completely. They were an intimidating pair and Matt ducked into the back as soon as they walked in.
The blond guy grabbed the largest sized bowl and started filling it with ALL the flavors. The other guy stared in disgust before getting a small bowl and, bypassing the frozen yogurt, started filling it with ALL the fruit. The blond went through the topping selections, adding most of the candies, sprinkles, and syrups. He took his time, carefully considering all the options and pointedly avoiding anything healthy.
“God! Enough, Andrew!” The other guy said, snatching his bowl and adding it to the scale. Andrew said something highly offensive in German. “What was that?” The guy demanded. “I said you’re paying, Kevin,” Andrew said, giving Kevin a nasty smile. Neil quickly added up their total (an obscene amount) and the guys grabbed their bowls and sat at the counter near the window.
Neil watched them while they ate. It seemed like all they did was bitch at each other or stare out the window in silence. Neil would have thought they hated each other but there was this strange charge between them, some kind of intense bond.
“You’re going to get diabetes and die,” Kevin told Andrew as he watched him work his way through the massive bowl of froyo and candy. “Shut up,” Andrew said, pointing his spoon threateningly at Kevin’s face. Kevin sighed. “I thought that banning you from ice cream would help but this…,” Kevin trailed off in defeated silence. Andrew ignored him and ate a large spoonful of raspberry froyo covered in chocolate syrup, sprinkles, and pieces of pulverized M&Ms. Kevin scowled and ate another bite of kiwi. Neil had to go to the back because otherwise he thought he might start laughing at them.
Matt was talking to Renee and helping her chop up candy bars. “Are they still out there?” He asked Neil. Neil nodded. “Shit,” Matt muttered. Renee waved a knife at him in disapproval. “What do you have against them?” Neil asked. Matt shook his head. “Let’s just say that if they ever ask you to go clubbing with them say no.” Neil couldn’t imagine that happening so he just nodded and went back to the counter.
Neil saw more of Andrew and Kevin as the weeks went by. He found out, through Matt and Renee, that Andrew had a twin named Aaron and an older cousin, Nicky, who also worked at The Fox Paw. “Why haven’t I met him yet?” Neil asked. “He’s in Germany,” Renee explained. “Yeah, visiting his boyfriend,” Matt elaborated. Neil added this information to his internal web of all things Kevin and Andrew. He wasn’t sure why he was collecting all this knowledge; the two men didn’t even seem to know that he existed, he was just that froyo guy. But Neil had a plan to change that.
It started with pomegranate. Neil read online that they were super healthy and he thought Kevin would like them. So he asked his manager if they could try some out as a new topping. It ended up being a big hit with the loyal patrons of The Fox Paw, Kevin included. Next Neil tried out chocolate covered pomegranate. He watched as Andrew added a scoop of them to his yogurt and waited impatiently to see how he reacted. But it was Andrew so Neil couldn’t tell from his facial expression if he actually liked it or not, but he did eat all of them so Neil figured it was a win.
Neil kept trying out new toppings on the pair. He made sure that he was the one who waited on them every time they came by. He had yet to really talk to either of them but his attention was not that subtle so he thought that maybe they noticed him? He asked Renee about Andrew and Kevin and she just smiled and didn’t say anything, but she didn’t discourage him either. Matt, on the other hand, was very vocal in his disapproval. “Neil, I’m gonna be honest with you, you could do so much better. Why would you want to get stuck between those two??” Neil could think of a lot of ways he would like to be stuck between Kevin and Andrew but he didn’t tell Matt that.
Neil’s passive wooing of Kevin and Andrew was completely overturned when Nicky came back. Neil had planned out how he would get to know Nicky and, after gaining his trust, start finding out more about Andrew and Kevin. But Matt ruined it. “Oh hey, Nicky, did you know that Neil is stalking your cousin?” Neil glared at Matt, fantasizing of ways to kill him, most of them involving death by Renee’s knives. Nicky, who had literally just walked in the door, stopped and stared at Neil, his eyes raking him up and down. Nicky started saying inappropriate (i.e. sexual harassment) things about Neil in German while Neil just stood there and took it. “So Neil,” Nicky said (in English), “I would love to get to know my cousin’s stalker. Why don’t you come clubbing with us this weekend?” Matt was shaking his head, mouthing no, no, no but Neil ignored him and simply said, “Yes.”
