On the first of this month, I finally got the double mastectomy I’ve been waiting for for over half a decade, and I’d love to hear anyone who has a cooler start to pride month than that! But because the recovery has been arduous and frankly a downright endless saga of new and joyful mysteries, I figured I’d try and save someone else the trouble and record some of my findings and experiences here! I’m an open book, so if you’ve got questions, ask away!
I’m going to suggest you learn from my mistakes here and practice reaching for things without lifting your arms above a t-pose, and get really good at picking things up with your feet; unless you want to rip stitches, your arm movement is going to be relatively limited for a while, so have your support person on hand to reach things off high shelves and move everything you regularly use to torso height before your surgery. Additionally, everyone seems to underestimate how light five pounds is, and that’s the absolute weight limit of things you can lift. That’s about the weight of an average bag of flour or a 2-liter bottle of pop. Again, you’re going to be asking your support person to reach a lot of stuff for you, so embrace the short person experience and get used to having t-rex arms for the foreseeable future.
There’s also a few items I recommend investing in, all of which can be found on Amazon;
- a good mastectomy pillow, ideally with pockets
- a seatbelt cover (because after surgery, the last thing you’ll want is a seatbelt pressed against your chest)
- bendy straws (with your arm limitations, it can be surprisingly difficult to sip from water bottles)
- dry shampoo and conditioner (you’re going to have to go multiple days/weeks without showering, and no matter what you do, you’re going to stink, but make your life a little less miserable.)
- baby wipes (ditto. Deodorant is a no-go, and these aren’t a fantastic substitute, but they’re better than zero cleanliness at all.)
- a laptop bed desk, ideally with a cup holder (this isn’t strictly necessary, but it’s nice to have something else to do in bed besides doomscrolling and replaying the same five Nintendo games.)
- popsicles/cough drops (when you wake up, you’ll probably feel like someone stuck a tube down your throat, because they did.)
- many button-up/zip-up shirts (try putting on a shirt without lifting your arms above a t-pose. Now try that when everything hurts and every stretch strains your chest.)
Also, if you’re far enough out from your surgery to do so, I’d recommend working out semi-often and putting yourself in at least decent shape; it can be easier for surgeons if you do, and considering you’ll be unable to lift above five pounds for six weeks post-op, and will probably be eating a lot of comfort food, giving your body a little extra boost before a lot of sitting around doing nothing isn’t a bad idea. Plus, some core strength can help when you’re tasked with the unenviable job of sitting up without using your arms.
Additionally, after surgery, you will be in pain. It varies from person to person, but if you’re like me, your body will feel like you lost a fight with a wood chipper for several days. Using the opioid painkillers your surgeon may prescribe is not a moral failing, but use them sparingly and for as few days as possible, and if you can, split them in half; I took one half of one on the morning and before bed on day 2, then before bed again on day 3, and for the rest, Tylenol did the trick. Surgeons will have different guidelines on ibuprofen usage, but generally, you’ll need to stop taking it from a week prior to three days after your surgery, but when you can take it again, doubling up on ibuprofen and Tylenol should have you covered in the pain management department.
I know it’s the last thing you’ll want to do when you feel like you’ve been hit by a truck, but there’s a lot of nasty health issues that can be caused by bedrotting for too long uninterrupted, so as soon as you’re able, start walking. I’m sure guidelines on this vary, but my surgeon had me walking for ten minutes every two hours as soon as I was able. If nothing else, it can also be refreshing just to see another part of your house when you’ve been trapped in bed feeling like hot garbage for a while.
This is important, and it may sound like common sense, but DRINK WATER. Drink SO MUCH water. Aside from being good for your body and such, opioids and anesthesia have the fun side effect of complicating bowel movements, and water helps a ton with this. Don’t make life harder for yourself, drink as much earth juice as you can manage.
Most people who get top surgery, I imagine, get drains. I won’t mince words here, they’re gross, and they’ll likely require you to strip and empty them multiple times a day. My best advice to you is to use that mastectomy pillow with pockets to try and forget about them, and when you do have to empty them, try your best to forget they’re attached to you. Easier said than done, I know, but I’m a squeamish bitch and that strategy worked surprisingly well for me.
Speaking of squeamishness, as much as you want to, don’t look. Don’t lift the binder, don’t even touch it. There’s so many reasons it’s a bad idea. Don’t do it.
Finally, I’ll be real about this; this is probably gonna suck no matter what you do. It’s a major surgery, and your body is going to be stuck on survival and recovery mode for a while. It’ll mess with your head, and sometimes, both in the immediate aftermath and the several weeks afterwards, you might feel like it wasn’t worth it or that you regret your choice or that it doesn’t look like you want it to.
I promise you, people who aren’t sure about this or are going to regret it don’t get this far. They don’t put themselves through the hurdles and nightmares that it takes to even get a surgery date unless they’ve been certain of who they are and what they want for a long time. Your results won’t be final for months, and the payoff you’ve been waiting for isn’t immediate, but when has anything worth doing ever been easy or quick? No step of the endless journey of transitioning has been even remotely simple, but you’ve done it regardless because you have the rare strength to rebuild your own flesh and blood into a body that matches your mind. You’re more than strong enough to handle this, and it will be more than worth it on the other side.
Good luck to anyone else starting the adventure of top surgery, and again, any and all questions you have, I’m happy to do my best to answer. Happy pride!
