Jun 27
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Crystal meth
Bottom left are active addiction to IV heroin and meth, the rest are from 5 years of hard work and recovery on my sobriety journey. I don't give myself props often, but I'm really fucking proud of me, I over came alot of terrible trauma not just in addiction, but in my teen years as well, il be , 30 this year and I'm so happy il be enjoying those years sober.
The hold it has
I cannot explain
I begin to
But then realize it makes no sense
Because how can you love something
That took your life, your youth, your innocence, your pride, your love, your confidence, your health.
How.
It feels selfish and ludicrous to want it again.
And again.
But here i am.
And i am yearning.
Dear Sibling,
I had a dream about you last night. You were seventeen before the drugs. When we were friends. Your laugh echoes in my ears. I heard about your schizophrenia diagnosis. Was it the drugs that distorted your brain? I want to understand why you have this diagnosis. I have learned so much about my mental health recently. Do you have depression, ADHD, OCD, PTSD, and Anxiety also? Drugs can mask so much.
Did you take drugs to feel alive also? I bet we have more in comman than you think. I spoke to mom this morning and we talked about my dream. I couldn't stop crying. I hope you find out where you need to be.
I'm getting married and I don't want you there if you're not sober. As my career develops in behavioral health I search for you. I see you in the success stories, I see you in the tired eyes of my clients, I see you in the distance.
160 days clean today!
I started doing meth a year ago today, but now I'm almost 3 months sober after putting myself through 9 months of hell. I can honestly say I'm so proud of myself 💚
Made it to 30 days CLEAN on my 30th birthday!!! Don’t plan on ever looking back either! God is good. It’s just believing that I am worth the recovery and deserve the healthy lifestyle! It’s a new way of life, fasho.