#funny asexual

[savtheauthor]

Person: *goes in for a kiss*

Me: *ducks in asexual panic*

[savtheauthor]

Why is it so taboo to eat at a restaurant alone? I don't need your sympathetic side glances. I chose to be here by myself.

[savtheauthor]

Who decided that holding hands had to be a romantic thing? Why can't I just hold hands with my home girl in the grocery store because I feel safer knowing someone can't kidnap me without kidnapping her? You just wanted one girl? Sorry sis, now you got two.

[savtheauthor]

My ex: She's just a virgin who doesn't know how to kiss

[savtheauthor]

I'm a hoE for platonic relationships in stories. Sue me.

[savtheauthor]

That vomit inducing feeling of walking in on an extremely detailed sexual conversation.

(the following awkward feeling when everyone else is laughing about it and your just....)

[savtheauthor]

The first time I realized that I was probably asexual was when my first boyfriend kissed me and I actually wanted to vomit afterwards.

[savtheauthor]

In retrospect, I should have realized I was asexual the day my fourteen year old self received her first dick pick. I genuinely believed it was a disfigured arm, and when my mom told me otherwise, I decided then and there that I never wanted to see another penis again.