#funnylols

[atleastseventybees]

Me explaining why 2/3/19 is cool:

Mom: “so it’s poisonous sock day?”

Me:”...”

Happy Poisionus Sock Day everyone.

[atleastseventybees]

Ever see a tv show where people get punched in the face then spit out a tooth? Ever wonder how many teeth they’ve spit out over the course of a series? Ever wonder what the medical bill must be for replacing a jaw full of teeth for a lifetime? If you’ve ever asked yourself this, 

Help me. 

I Must Know. 

[atleastseventybees]

Rewatching Jessica Jones has made me realize that all us Semantics Kings wouldn’t be much effected by Kilgrave.

“Put a bullet in your head.”

Me: places bullet in mouth.

“Stab that guy”

Me: gently pokes hair

“Have dinner with me”

Me: Makes reservations for nintey years in the future

[atleastseventybees]

I think my favorite game mechanic is Russian Stealth. Or put another way:

“Nobody will notice if there’s nobody to notice.”

[atleastseventybees]

What band jumps off bridges for fun?

Bungeeovi.

[atleastseventybees]

I teach fourth grade Sunday school and let me tell ya, people talk about children having “The Wiggles” like it’s a severe nervous disorder.

[atleastseventybees]

Mother: -dumps remaining bottle of vanilla into cake mix-

Me: “This is the only acceptable measurement of vanilla.”

[atleastseventybees]

Friend: “Why is that ugly muppet flirting with you like he’s got half a chance?”

Me: “Idk I guess he thinks he’s a regular sock-rat-tease.”