#fused ankles

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My cataract surgery is scheduled in a few weeks.

The doctor went through things so fast.

It's ALL happening so fast.

Please let this help my vision and not fuck things up.

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Something my mom says a lot: "use it or lose it"

But in my case, I think it should be"

" use it (a bit, but not too much) AND lose it (a little slower)

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I used to be so crafty and draw all the time.

I feel like I sacrificed that side of my brain to the fatigue monster.

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My doctor: I'm putting you on this new medicine. Tell me if you experience any muscle pain or weakness.

Me: How do I tell that apart from all my other pain?

My doctor: ... uhm...

Me: Is it like a low bloodsugar weakness or an anemia weakness?

My doctor: ...hmm, like your muscles won't hold you up.

Me: ... ok, so I have to play the "go down the list and rule things out" game. Cool. 🙃

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How does everyone describe their brain fog?

- Not present

- like having an office at one end of a long hallway with all the references you need on the other end

- out of it

- not connecting the dots

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My normal.

While both ankles are a bit swollen from RA right now, my right ankle is always this shape and size.

This is part of why Im always in pain. This is why I have trouble walking. This is why I have poor balance. This is why it is hard to find shoes that fit. This is why I stopped doing a lot of the things that I love.

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I cant believe no one told me there is a name for my type of ankle brace. This ought to make searching for shoes so much easier.

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Gotta love how if you say "My ankles are fused" that doctors go to "Oh, surgically." instead of looking at my rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis in my chart and going "oh, from the arthritis?" Also... what's missing from my chart? Notes about a surgery...