#fyozai fic

[persimmonsandcats]

♟️ flesh and bone ♟️

♟️ fyozai ♟️

♟️ rated e ; 22.5k words ♟️

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[hum-my-name]

Dazai tilts his head, his gaze unnervingly intent. “And why do you care? Do you hate my music— or do you hate that I play it better than you?”

“What I hate,” Fyodor hisses, “is that you have disguised your arrogance as brilliance. You waste a gift that was made to be worshipped.”

Dazai’s expression shifts, his eyes gleaming with something that sends a shiver down Fyodor’s spine.

“And if I followed your words— played to please you, earn your favor,” he murmurs, stepping close enough to feel the warmth of his breath, “would you worship me, Fyodor?”

<>

Amadeus Fyozai AU, oh my! Fyodor and Dazai are rival composers in Vienna, and it gets way more intense than it has any right to.

New Fyozai fic that has fully possessed me! Two chapters have been posted already; the rest is outlined and will be written soon. Please check it out!

[rashoumon-homo]

Request from @sluggodandpoet

I made it an AU (no powers, high school) so I hope that's okay! Basically Fyodor and Dazai are best friends in this, but besides that they're essentially the same.

-> 1.3k words

***

You are sinking. 

The water pulls you deeper and deeper. Your limbs are starting to feel heavy. Deep in this body of water, time seems to slow to a crawl. There is nothing but the sensation of overwhelming weightlessness, pressing down around you on all sides.

You are sinking, you are sinking, you are-

Dazai sneezed. 

He opened his eyes to see Fyodor narrowing his eyes in irritation, pen still poised above his notebook. 

“Sorry,” Dazai said sheepishly. He sat up on the bed and started unclipping himself from the EKG machine. This just wasn’t going to happen today, it seemed. 

“Were you even trying to slow down your heart rate?” Fyodor asked flatly. He set his notebook and pen down on the nightstand and helped Dazai unhook the wires. 

“Yeah,” Dazai said defensively, “It’s harder than it looks, you know.” Under his breath, he muttered, “Maybe even impossible.”

“It’s not impossible. You just aren’t focusing.”

Of course he heard. 

“Oh yeah? Then why hasn’t anyone been able to do it before?” Dazai asked. He started pulling the stickers off his chest, dropping them in Fyodor’s open palm as he went. 

“People have been able to temporarily stop their hearts through artificial means before,” Fyodor corrected. “And it’s a well-known fact that we can increase and decrease our pulse through things like exercise, meditation, and strong emotional triggers. It’s not too far-fetched to believe that with training, one can have total control over their heartbeat.” 

The EKG machine beeped to indicate it was going into sleep mode; the LED flatlines on the display panel dimming alongside Dazai’s mood. The whole room felt accusatory, from the charts pinned to the walls to the blood pressure cuff dangling from the rolling vitals machine. He wasn’t even sure how Fyodor managed to find all this medical equipment— sure, his family was rich, but his parents were astrophysicists, not medical doctors. When he’d asked Fyodor about it, he’d gotten the dismissive response of, “Don’t worry about it.”

It had been five months since the start of this experiment. Five months where the two of them would head straight to Fyodor’s place after school and begin the real learning. They called it “studying” but the types of experiments they’d conducted far surpassed any science project their high school had assigned. 

From the first day of class, they’d gravitated towards each other and become fast friends. Genius instinctively recognizes genius, it seems. So Fyodor had expanded his list of people he tolerated from zero to one, and Dazai was able to drop his class clown act for the only person who he knew could handle his serious side. 

“You’re holding back,” Fyodor observed. He dropped the handful of EKG stickers in the trash can by the bed. “Why?”

“I’m not! This is just so boring,” Dazai complained, dramatically pressing the back of his hand to his forehead. “At least you’ll get some results when my heart stops from being bored to death.” 

He was putting up his walls; masking something deeper with humor— and Fyodor saw right through it. 

“Dazai.”

“Fedya,” he shot back playfully, ignoring the serious tone in Fyodor’s voice. 

“What are you so scared of?”

Dazai lay back down, staring at the glow-in-the-dark star stickers he’d stuck to the ceiling ages ago (much to Fyodor’s irritation, but they’d stayed). 

“No one has ever been able to control their heartbeat before,” he said finally. “It’s an involuntary action; something that ties all humans and animals together on a fundamental level. A lack of control that is shared by every species.” 

Fyodor sat down on the edge of the bed next to Dazai’s legs, listening intently. 

“If I succeed, it means I’m something else,” Dazai continued. His voice had gotten quieter, like he didn’t even want to hear his own words. “It would be undeniable proof I’m not human.” 

Fyodor didn’t respond, just nudged Dazai aside to make room for them to lie side by side on the twin size bed. Flat on their backs, squished together to accommodate the cramped space, they watched the star stickers start to faintly glow in the nautical twilight. 

Fyodor sighed quietly. “What a horrible thing it must be, to be human.”

Dazai smiled softly. It was as close as Fyodor would ever get to a comforting response, which was kind of endearing in its own way. It wasn’t the years they’d spent as best friends that made him understand Fyodor so well; they’d been so mentally in sync from the day they met that it was almost scary. He was the only one who’d ever been able to get Dazai. If it was somehow proven that Dazai was something inhuman, at least he had the reassurance that he wasn’t the only one like this. Whatever he was, Fyodor was too. 

“Sometimes I think we’re soulmates,” Dazai admitted. 

“Is that your way of finally making a move on me?” Fyodor asked with a smirk. He rolled to his side to face Dazai. 

Dazai rolled to his side as well and grinned. “Finally? So you admit you’ve been wanting me to?”

It was a game they played; like reverse Gay Chicken. They would each try to make the other admit their crush without admitting their own in the process. It was ridiculous, and they both knew it. But that didn’t make it any less fun. 

“Oh please,” Fyodor shot back, “I’m just glad you’re finally saying something instead of pathetically pining after me.”

“I haven’t been pining,” Dazai spluttered. 

“You couldn’t stop staring at my lips all day.”

“You were licking them and tapping the end of your pen against them!” Dazai said incredulously. “You clearly wanted me to look!” 

Fyodor held up his hands in faux-defense. “But you fantasized about kissing me by your own volition.” 

Dazai just stared, his cheeks tinged pink. 

“Am I wrong?” Fyodor prompted. 

It took a lot to get Dazai to shut up on a good day, so his silence was a triumph in Fyodor’s book. He noticed Dazai’s gaze flick back down to his lips briefly. 

“You’re doing it again,” Fyodor murmured. “If you want to kiss me so badly, I won’t stop you.”

Dazai reached his hand over and pressed his thumb lightly against Fyodor’s bottom lip. He slid his hand up his jaw and tucked his hair behind his ear, pulling him closer as he did. 

It was impossible to say which of them moved first. 

Next thing they knew, they were kissing, and it was electric. None of that first kiss clumsiness; they navigated each other’s movements with the same synchronization they experienced mentally. It was too much. It was not enough. It was the deep mental water Dazai sank in when he meditated, and it was the beeping of the EKG machine, and it was his heartbeat thumping all around them. 

And something clicked. 

When they broke apart, Dazai was blushing to the tips of his ears and Fyodor had a rare, truly happy smile on his face. 

“Fedya, put your head on my chest,” Dazai said breathlessly. “I think… there’s something wrong with my heartbeat.”

Fyodor raised an eyebrow, but did as Dazai asked, pressing his ear to his chest to listen to the irregular beating. It was some kind of arrhythmia, but it had a familiar pattern to it… like Morse Code. 

He mentally followed along with each letter as it was revealed. 

Y-O-U L-O-S-E

Fyodor jerked his head back and glared at Dazai, who was smiling and sticking his tongue out. 

“Oh, shut up.” Fyodor elbowed him, but smiled too. “I told you it was possible.” 

“Yeah, yeah. It’s ok if I sleep over tonight, right?”

“Fine,” Fyodor said, yawning. He wrapped his arms around Dazai and pulled him in, resting his forehead against his shoulder. He sensed Dazai opening his mouth to tease him, so he quickly said, “If you say anything, you’re sleeping on the floor like usual.” 

For once, Dazai made the smart choice and shut his mouth. Instead, he relaxed into Fyodor’s hold and fell asleep to the rhythm of their heartbeats. 

Back to Masterlist

[hanazou]

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗛𝗮𝘀 𝗥𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱

The sharp stroke stretched from under Fyodor’s left eye. It itched. The nail edge sliced his cheek, smoothly glided to the nose, and dived down to the top lip. The wet red polish from Dazai’s finger, a trail of impudence, was fresh. And these forsaken lips nobody will trust, Dazai sliced Fyodor's bottom lip.

(excerpt from my AO3 Fyozai fic)

[honeydazai]

i offer another fic, which is Fyozai!! and that was Bottom Dazai Week!

GENSHIN CONTENT TOMORROW probably

FIC FYOZAI SEXY PORN please kudos

[abolutefyozailoverandatsushi]

HEHAHASHEHAHSEH, I am NEVER finishing this Fyozai fic, chapter one? DONE. Chapter two? STUPIDLY DONE. Chapter three? Errrhhhhhhh, maybeeee another two more monthssssssssssssssssss, LIKE BABY, IT JS STARTED WITH ME RANTING TO MY FRIEND ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE FYOZAI, suddenly i have 7 word doc pages worth of a Fyozai fic, will never be published, idc. *blows up like a balloon* All that "To Be Mortal, Is To Meet You When We Shouldn't Be" as my first Fyozai fic? HAH, throw it in the trash can, LEAVE IT, RUIN IT.