A/N: “I’m in flashback” I miss After School.. But anyways, there’s a flashback in this part. Enjoy!
You hit your phone as it annoyingly disturbed your slumber. You groaned and slowly opened your eyes. But to your surprise, it was still dark. You looked back at your phone to confirm the time and wondered why there wasn’t any sunlight from your window. You looked over to where your window should have been only to see a painting instead. Quickly, you began to notice everything was different yet familiar. You sprang up in bed and looked around the hotel room. The blankets next to you started moving and a tattooed arm crept out from underneath and pulled you back down onto the bed, suddenly making you remember the events from the night before.
You thought all of it was a dream. But it wasn’t a dream. Jiyong was here, holding you like he used to. His head was resting in the crook of your neck as he spooned you, holding your hand over your waist. You felt the familiar butterflies in your stomach, remembering how they never went away in the two years you both had been together. You smiled and turned around to face him. His eyes were still closed but he had a tiny grin on his face. You ran your hands up his bare chest, reaching the sides of his face and pulled him into you. You pecked his lips, making his grin stretch into a smile. You pecked his lips again, then his cheeks, then his nose, then his forehead and didn’t stop until you heard him laughing. You froze, realizing how much you missed hearing him laugh.
“Good morning.” His voice was low and raspy, sending chills down your spine. He finally opened his eyes and kissed you back, stopping at the one. “I have today off.”
“Oh? When’s your concert?”
“My show’s not until tomorrow.” He led his hand down to the hem of his shirt on you and lifted it up slightly. He rested his hand on your hip and started tracing circles on your skin. You remembered that this habit only made itself known when Jiyong was in a very good mood. He didn’t seem to notice he was doing it as he continued talking. “You should call into work today.. since I have the day off.” And then it hit you. You had work.
“Shit! I forgot!” You jumped out of bed and changed back into your work clothes, not caring that he was eyeing your body. “I’m sorry, Jiyong. I actually have a meeting today that I have to be at.”
“But after that, I can leave.” You looked back at him on the bed and walked back to a sulking Jiyong. You leaned forward and crawled on the bed to him until your faces were only inches apart. “Is that okay?” He looked at you and licked his lips. He nodded his head slowly and quickly grabbed the back of your neck and kissed you passionately. You laughed into the kiss, trying to wiggle your way out of his grip to go to work. You pushed him gently away. “I’ll see you later, Oppa.” You got off the bed and quickly walked out the door.
“Good morning, ma’am!” said one of the housekeepers who was walking your way. Jiyong’s room obviously being next for her to clean. She hesitated seeing the body guards on each side of the door.
“Oh, actually they don’t need service.” you whispered. She nodded her head and went on to the next room. You let out a sigh and greeted the body guards before walking down the hall.
“Unnie!” You saw Eunbi walking quickly towards you with a strange look on her face.
“Good morning, Eunbi-ah.” you said with a smile.
“Unnie, why were you coming out of G-Dragon’s room??”
“What?” you asked, surprised.
“You just came out of his room, right?? Why?” Eunbi was the type of person to never oversee anything. She always followed her hunches. You knew you couldn’t lie to her about this anymore. And honestly, you were tired of lying to her about it. You sighed, defeated, and brought Eunbi to your office, explaining everything. “So…you and G-Dragon…? He’s your boyfriend?”
“He was my boyfriend.” you clarified. “He’s not anymore.”
“…..but you just came out of his room. You stayed there all night.”
“I got drunk, Eunbi-ah. That’s all.”
“Unnie… that’s all that happened? Nothing else happened?” she asked unconvinced. You rolled your eyes and ignored her.
“It’s time for the meeting, let’s go.” You opened the door and you both walked out.
The meeting was over and your found yourself stalling to go back up to Jiyong’s room, wondering how you were going to tell him last night might have been a mistake. Eunbi kept giving you little knowing looks all morning long and you joking wondered if telling her was a mistake. You carefully made your way up to Jiyong’s room, making sure none of your staff saw you. Once you had gotten there, you were met by his body guards. But before you could try to explain yourself, they stepped aside and let you across the door. You knocked and waited for a minute before having the door open barely an inch until he saw you. He yanked you in, at the risk of having someone else see you.
“Ow! Jiyong–” You were interrupted by his lips crashing into yours. You pulled yourself away and lowered your head. “I came here to talk to you.” He instantly looked worried. He recognized the tone in your voice. He only heard it a few times but knew it enough to be scared of whatever followed. “Last night was nice. It was nice to pretend. Even if it was only for one night.”
“I wasn’t pretending, Y/N..” he said sternly.
“I missed you a lot. So I just wanted to act like everything was the same.”
“Y/N, you just kissed me this morning. You can’t just expect me to act like it was just pretend.” He started to raise his voice and you didn’t like it.
“And you can’t expect me to forget everything that happened.” He looked down, avoiding your glare. “During the two years we were together, you never lied to me. So I do believe you when you say that there was a reason.” He looked up, hopeful. “But until I know that reason, I’m sorry, but I can’t just forget it… Three years is a long time, Jiyong. Whether it’s your fault of not, I have no choice but to blame you.” You wanted to forgive him but you couldn’t. He stepped forward and grabbed your hands, lowering himself to meet your eye level.
“Just stay with me? Please? Just keep trusting me as much as you do now.” You expected him to have tears in his eyes like he normally would in this kind of situation but instead, he looked determined. You nodded your head in understanding and gently pulled your hands out of his. You couldn’t go back to how things were. Not yet. He couldn’t tell you the reason why yet, but he could try to push you to figure it out on your own. “I have to go to work for a little while today. Do you wanna come with me?” Seoul was about 2 hours from where you were and you really didn’t feel like sitting in a car for that long. You shook your head, refusing to go.
“No. Why would I go? To have everyone ask me questions? No.” You were sure if you went, people would ask questions about whether or not you and Jiyong were back together.
“We’ll go in through the back, Straight to my studio. If we run into someone, I’ll do all the talking. I promise.” He seemed eager to take you and you had no idea why. You shrugged your shoulders, not caring anymore. You had already taken the rest of the day off anyways so your figured, why not?
The car ride up there was very relaxed and you both talked like you normally did. It almost made you not want the car ride to end. But once you pulled up to the familiar YG building, your hands started to clam up. You prayed you wouldn’t run into anyone. As you walked inside and waited for the elevator to come down, Jiyong looked at you. He wanted to kiss you just like he used to. This building held a lot of memories for the two of you. This is where you both would usually meet up if it wasn’t at your apartment. Since you didn’t want to tell your family and friends that you were dating a celebrity, Jiyong had no choice but to bring you to his studio so often.
Suddenly, the elevator dinged and the doors opened and standing in front of you was Yang Hyunsuk. Your heart dropped. While you were panicking, you looked over at Jiyong. But he had a strange look on his face. One you hadn’t seen before. It kind of looked…angry? The most you’d ever seen was Jiyong very frustrated, but never angry. You looked back at Yang Hyunsuk and realized he wasn’t even looking at you. He was glaring at Jiyong. Jiyong grabbed your wrist and pulled you behind him while Yang Hyunsuk walked past the two of you and out the door to the garage. Jiyong then let go of your wrist and walked into the elevator. You hurried in with him and cleared your throat, trying to ease the tension that was clearly present.
The doors opened and Jiyong quickly got off, not waiting for you. You followed behind him with a safe distance in between you two. When he got to his studio before you, he left the door open, knowing you were behind him. You closed the door behind you and sat in your familiar spot on the couch along the wall. Jiyong sat in his desk chair and immediately started working on the computer. You sat back comfortably, and let Jiyong release his anger with his music. You closed your eyes and laid your head back, listening to the short clips of music that you were so used to. You actually missed it. Jiyong would usually play the same piece of music over and over again, changing something in that clip each time, playing with the music.
While Jiyong listened carefully to the music, he turned around and saw how relaxed you were. He missed you so much. You, being here in his studio like old times, made him doubt that this was actually happening. Doubt that you were actually here with him. He grinned and went back to his music, forgetting about his anger.
“Okay. I’m done.” Jiyong said as he turned around in his chair towards you. You looked at the clock on the wall and didn’t even realize an hour had gone by. He got up and sat beside you on the sofa. “Did you recognize what I was playing?”
“Yes, actually. I didn’t want to interrupt. I remember you working on that when we were together. Towards the end, I think.” You looked over and he was nodding. It was strange that he was bringing up his music. Usually, you had to be the one to bring it up. Otherwise, he never talked about it.
“Yeah. I’ve been working on it for a long time. It’s pretty much done.”
“Oh really? That’s good! I bet Yang Hyunsuk is happy!” you said, smiling. But as soon as you mentioned his name, Jiyong was no longer in a good mood. You could see his jaw flex and his hand form a fist.
“He doesn’t know it’s almost finished.” he gritted through his teeth.
“Oh.. Well, I’m sure he’ll be happy.” You tried to make the mood change back to how it was by laughing and playfully pushing him but Jiyong wasn’t having it.
“I have to make sure some things are sorted out first. Then he can have the song.” He stared at you, urging you to understand. But you had no idea what he was talking about. So you just smiled at him and nodded, not knowing what he wanted you to say. He looked away from you, running his hand roughly through his hair. “Why would you understand that?” he muttered under his breath. “Let’s go.” He got up off the couch and waited for you to do the same.
“Where are we going?” you asked, still glued to the couch. He reached out his hand as his reply. You hesitantly grabbed it, blindly following him. You weren’t leaving yet because you hadn’t gone to the elevator. It looked like he was taking you to his other studio. You pulled back, not wanting to go there. You had very unpleasant memories there. One in particular. “Stop. I don’t wanna go in there.”
“Why not?” he asked, already knowing the answer.
“You know why. Don’t make me. Please..” You could feel your eyes moisten and felt ashamed. He had no compassion and kept dragging you forward. “Jiyong, please!” You pleaded with him but he wasn’t listening. He pulled you into the closet-sized studio and closed the door behind you. Still holding your hand, he brought his other one up to your face and brushed away the single tear that had escaped your eye. You knew he wasn’t doing this to be mean, but he knew how painful this place was for you. Why was he so insistent on bringing you in here?
“You need to grieve, Y/N. I know you haven’t.” he gently whispered. It still affected him. Everyday. But he knew you shut out every thought of her. He knew it was more painful for you. You carried her for four months.
“Yes, I have. It’s been three years..” You clinged onto him as your sobs got louder. “I don’t want to do this, Oppa.. why are you making me remember..” He pulled you into him, tightly holding you in his arms. You never thought about her. You couldn’t. “I’m sorry, Oppa. I’m sorry.” He gritted his teeth together. “It’s my fault, I’m sorry.” He hated the fact that you blamed yourself. You didn’t know the truth. He wanted to tell you the truth, but he couldn’t yet.
“Oppa, stop. We can’t do it here~” you whined, not hating his lips all over you.
“It’s fine. It’s my studio, no one comes in here.” he said in between kissing you.
“Yeah, cause it’s so small. Jiyong~” You hated coming to this studio because it was so small. Two people could barely fit in here. His hands started wandering down your back and stopped when he reached your ass. You moaned into the kiss, giving into him, and you could feel him smiling. He spun you around and sat on the only love seat in the room and pulled you to get on top of him, never breaking the kiss. You straddled him and tugged on his hair, wanting more. You reached down to unbutton his jeans while he slowly started rubbing your mound through your shorts.
“Being pregnant makes you so horny. It’s hot.” he said while smirking and biting his lip. You lightly pushed his shoulder in embarrassment, while pretending to get up. He pulled you back down by your hips and pecked your cheek. “I’m sorry but it’s true.” he whispered. Then suddenly, you felt a sharp pain in your stomach. You groaned and held your stomach. “What’s wrong??” he asked, panicking.
“Jiyong–” You were cut off by the returning pain and curled up more in Jiyong’s lap, laying your head on his shoulder. “Jiyong. The baby.” He picked you up bridal style and rushed out the door, yelling for someone to help. You were fading in and out of consciousness due to the pain. Being in a secluded part of the building made it hard for Jiyong to find someone to help. You didn’t know when he left you on the floor, but when he came back, you looked at him. His hands were covered in blood and his face was drenched in tears. He must have called 911 because, suddenly, you were lying down on the back of an ambulance with Jiyong looking down at you.
“Y/N. It’s okay.” He sounded so scared.
“Oppa” you softly said before blacking out. You woke up in the hospital in a daze with a sleeping Jiyong holding your hand. “Jiyong.” You spoke hoarsely. He didn’t wake up so you gave his hand a light squeezing. He slowly opened his eyes and realized you were up.
“Hey.” He had a faint grin on his face while he looked at you. His eyes were so swollen and that’s when you remembered why you were there in the first place. He saw the panic suddenly spread across your face and he leaned into you, pressing his forehead against yours while cupping your face in his hands. “She didn’t make it.” He whispered with a trembling voice. Tears immediately started rolling down your face. Jiyong was trying to be strong but a few tears managed to slip out.
“Why? What happened?” you sobbed, barely audible. He shook his head slowly on your forehead.
“I don’t know. They’re still trying to figure it out. They think..it might be some kind of medicine you took…” You couldn’t comprehend what he was saying.
“I–Did I–Did I do this?” He wasn’t sure he even understood himself. You just kept crying while he held you.
After you had finally stopped crying, you pulled away from Jiyong. But fortunately for him, not very far because of the small studio. He reached out to grab your hand, still wanting to touch you. You didn’t refuse him and allowed him to intertwine his fingers with yours.
“Does she have something to do with you leaving?” you curtly asked. He didn’t say anything, knowing he could ruin everything he’s done if he told you.
“Just trust me a little longer.” he whispered.
“For how long? How long am I supposed to wait?”
“Not long. I’m almost done.” He gave you no explanation, not that you expected him to but your patience was wearing thin and you were too worn out from crying to put up a fight.
“I love you, Jiyong.” You don’t know what came over you but you suddenly needed him to know. He looked at you confused at your sudden confession.
“…I know, Y/N. I know you do.” He took a step towards you and dipped his head to meet your lips. He was gentle at first, but as you brought your hands up to his face, he deepened the kiss. But he had to stop, before he couldn’t control himself any longer. He reached the hem of your shirt and slightly lifted it up, tracing circles on your skin with his thumb.
“I love you so much, Y/N.”
