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Winter

Where are you love?

It’s been so long since I last smelled your air; clean lightweight just like you. I missed the way your birds sing in the morning; not as angry or obnoxious as in the heat’s fatal days. I miss lying down and hearing not one single noise from air conditioning or fans; just the odd sound of electricity boxes and sometimes not even that- silence in its most harmonious form. I miss your dark skies and your misty mornings, softly asking everyone to stay home or just not speak. The way everyone smells when you’re around, it startles me how clean can someone be, and how disgusting existence is too. I miss not having to wake up mad, hating the day I came to life, being a burden to my own soul. I wait for you , so dearly, just so I can sit down and not feel that way. I miss flipping the pillow to the other side and finding it unfriendly-cold and still enjoying it because warmth means so much more when you’re here. I miss the coziness of my half sleeve cardigans with all grey to match you and myself together. I miss the clamness you bring- really surprising to see people so loud and angry and intolerable to soft and happy and careless at some points. I miss you so much that I would not mind living in you forever; not afraid of ever getting used to you or becoming bored of how settled everything is. You are the one thing in my life that I can so boldly speak of how much I love, of how much I know the reasons why I love, and dare anyone that says you’re ugly or dead or helpless. You make the sun have a reason to wake up to see and the moon to have a reason to stare at it disappear. Please come more often, I hate the heat taking to much of your time. We can sit silently staring at each other and forget how annoying everyone and everything is. You wouldn’t even feel my weight no matter how big I looked. I promise you I’m the most peaceful, I abide by your rules even when you’re not around,I do my best to hold my temper and imagine you here. But sometimes it is just so hard and heavy to not have you. Please bring beautiful songs with you; I have the best emotional reactions to music when you’re around. The only reason why I ever loved Ben Howard or Daughter or Low Roar or Gem Club is because of you. It is just something that your stillness and the eerie ambiguity in their sounds that blend so well; so so well that I can almost feeling my fingers twitch with my favourite guitar riffs.

Come on winter, Agatha’s Song will make time dance again. And I won’t cry here for not being able To Belong, not even Once In a Long Long while. Only then Animals would make me feel the things they want me to feel.

#winter #love #warmth #hygge #benhoward #daughter #lowroar #gemclub #cleanweather

2017년 6월 9일 오전 02:19

find there is nothing left

#gemclub

#gemclub #charlie engman #mom

GEM CLUB - 252

#gemclub #252 #dreampop #ambient #somerville #massachusetts

Day 16 of the #instawrimo challenge - Noveling music!! I love listening to music while writing. Especially on my record player. I like listening to softer music like #dodie , #sleepingatlast , and #gemclub I like the softer music because the lyrics don’t distract me from what I am writing. Instrumental covers of music are also a popular listen of mine while writing. I don’t just use my record player though. I also have my Spotify playlist with a variety of different music that tends to influence what I write.