#gen5part4

[theplottdump]

Valerian gets to work on his master plan, and is excited for the first day of semi-active pre-HSY fake school that always breaks. Val: Valerian, you're smart and not much of anything else, but you've got THIS. The other kids might not like you but you need to make them respect you!

Poppy: Valeriannnn get out of the bathroom, I have to pee and the watcher makes us share a child dungeon Val: Oh sweet, a comment on my tiktok on developing rudimentary AI! … ugh nevermind it's just another Russian Porn Bot

And then the watcher fought her computer for 4 hours trying to get an active school mod to work. More on this later.

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THEY'RE CONSPIRING AGAINST ME

Hinoki immediately has to notify her fans (and the paparazzi that live outside their house) of the new bebe.

Hinoki: Fynn, what should we name our new bebe? I'm thinking Aster, or OHH Kale?? Kale is very hot right now.

Fynn: What about Indigo? That's pretty rock and roll. Hinoki: Oh yeah that's cute I guess.

Valerian: …

Val: I'm in hell.

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The day drags on and it starts to get late back home. Sade: Can't have one damn moment of peace in this house.

Sade: Hinoki, Where are your children? Hinoki: I think they went to the pool for fathers day or something… right baby? Fynn: mrmrpppprhhh

Sade: Hinoki it's MIDNIGHT. You need to pay more attention to them, their character values are spiraling.

And knock that shit off, I saw that Landgraab boy with binoculars the other day for Watchers Sake.

[theplottdump]

⭐ GENERATION 5 CONTENT WARNINGS FOR:

WW Bullshit, (Balanced) Rockstar Orgies, Distasteful (enough) Nudity, Absolute Nonsense, Light (implied) Sexual Assault, Mentions of Consensual Teen Sex, Explosions, Really Bad Parenting, Cursing, One Massive TOOL'ed Football Game, Blood, Injuries, Hurt and Comfort, and one very Dysfunctional Family.

*Please note: The worst offending posts will be placed behind a read more and tagged properly. That being said-

Mamma Mia, here we go again.

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Dahlia: Dad, not to be mean, but I think you're actively bringing down my grade. Fynn: Why does space require so much clay…?

It turned out ... ok? But Dahlia had something else on her mind.

Dahlia: Do you think we can replace Poppy with the new baby?

Fynn: Honestly there's so many of you I've lost count at this point.

Dahlia: Mom, I don't think you're supposed to drink while actively pregnant. Hinoki: Don't worry lovie, I'm a professional (alcoholic)

I decided the only way anyone was going to get food around here was by hiring a caterer.

Val: Is this a trap? Family meals always seem like some sort of Trap Dahlia: Thanks for the breakfast pasta caterer lady!

Poppy: Just eat your breakfast pasta Val.

( 𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝟦 )

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Sade: And you're 100% sure it's Fynn's this time correct? Hinoki: Mom, duh! I'm a changed woman now. I already had that arc.

Sade: What about that nice Tartosian Townie? Whatever happened to him? Do you think he's single? Hinoki: Mom, no ew.

Hinoki: What about Dad? I don't know if I like this single and lovin' it lifestyle you've developed.

Sade: Hinoki, your father has been dead for over 15 years. Am I not allowed to heal and move on? Hinoki: Just don't come crying back to me when some random townie breaks your heart >:[

Sade: Valerian darling, remember not to start any fights at active school. I'm worried about the character values in this house. Val: Yes Obaasan. Sade: And people may not like you, and that's ok!! Just as you hold their respect and fear. Val: //scribbles notes//

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It's Father's Day! Hinoki: Happy Father's Day Baby!

Fynn: You just wrote '1 free blowjob' on the bottom of the box.

I love it.

I decided to take the kids to the community country club pool for Father's Day.

Val is thriving and the girls are making friends.

Dahlia: Hey Lizzy! Watch me drown my dumb brother! Elizabeth: Sure, ok!

Dahlia: Begone Foul Water Thot! Valerian: AHHH

Val had to exile himself to the kiddie pool cause his sisters bullied him out of the main one.

Poppy is loving life and Dahlia is chatting with little Beau Broke.

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my legacy in a nutshell

Sade is trying her best to save Poppy's character values from certain doom, but Poppy thinks she's targeting her unfairly.

Poppy: I don't understand why Obaasan is coming for my wig!! Valerian is literally evil and I'm just mean! Valerian: Pffft I'm not the one starting fights.

Poppy: I hope Val gets shoved into a locker in boring active high school >:(

Hinoki: I'm sorry darling, were you talking to me? And why are there so many of you?