Is having sex with that cis man ethical? It's less likely than you might think!
I've rewritten this a couple times. I'm still processing it. I'm still shaping it. This might not belong on my tumblr but it's eating a hole in my brain.
Premises:
Many cis men belong to the gender-class of "Power". (See this article if you have no idea what I'm talking about.)
People belonging to the gender-class "Power" have a vested interest in maintaining the current gender-class system, as they benefit from the current gender-class system most.
The act of sex can be (but is not necessarily) an act that reinforces gender-class relations. This is seen through the "accepted paradigm" of sex in our culture: dominate man + submissive woman. (This picture reinforces the idea that the gender-class "Power" always dominates the gender-class "Not Power" as the normative relation, and erases the gender-class "Subaltern" entirely, leaving only the "Legitimate Gender-Classes" in the accepted picture.)
The gender-class "Power" has a vested interest, therefore, in maintaining its dominant position in sexual relations as a way of continuing the sexual gender-class narrative.
This means that even those members of the gender-class "Power" who have sexual relations with members of the gender-class "Subaltern" have societal and personal pressure to maintain the gender-class relations. This manifests primarily through denying the relationship with the Subaltern the social legitimacy of a relationship with someone of Not Power, be it through denying that they are "dating" outright, or denying the partner of the social legitimacy of marriage. This can secondarily manifest (primarily for Subalterns who are trans men or transmasculine) as a desire of the member of Power to reintegrate their partner into the gender-class "Not Power" by pressuring them to conform their way out of Subaltern status, regardless of whether or not this is something the Subaltern wants.
In order for a member of the gender-class Power to actually be in a consensual sexual relationship with a member of the gender-class Subaltern, they must become a class traitor and act against the interest of the gender-class Power. This risks their own rejection from their gender-class.
Conclusions:
Because many cis men belong to the gender-class "Power", their sexual relations with people belonging to the gender-class "Subaltern" (often, but not always, trans men, trans women, nonbinary people, and nonconforming gay men primarily) are part of a gender-class power struggle.
Any cis man who wishes to have a sexual relationship with a member of the latter aforementioned group must understand that such a relationship, in order to be consensual, must constitute an act of class treachery which risks his own expulsion from the gender-class "Power."
As members of the Subaltern, we must understand that it is dangerous to have sexual relations with most cis men unless they understand that such a relationship must be class treachery.
Tldr: Cis men, if you want to fuck a trans person ethically, you must become a class traitor to your gender-class.
Trans people, we must accept nothing less from our partners who are cis men. It is not enough for them to be willing to sleep with us, or even to be willing to be seen with us openly. By engaging with us, they must understand that they risk joining us as the Subaltern.
