#gender-nonconformity

[sapphicconfession]

[feministstruggle]

Supreme Court Ruling: Cause for Celebration and Concern

On June 15, 2020, the U.S. Supreme Court issued a surprise 6 to 3 decision written by conservative Justice Neil Gorsuch in three cases interpreting Title VII of the Civil Rights Act banning sex discrimination in employment, The first two cases involved gay men who lost their jobs for being gay (Bostock vs. Clayton County, Georgia, and Altitude Express Inc. v Zarda) and the third involved a transgender-identified male who was fired upon announcing he was "transitioning" and would be returning to work in women's garb (Harris Funeral Homes vs. EEOC.).First the good news. The Court held that discrimination based on homosexuality was covered under Title VII as a form of sex discrimination since it is intrinsically tied to biological sex. This means that after many decades of struggle, lesbians and gay men finally now have federal civil rights protection against job discrimination. Also, the interpretation of Title VII is so broad that sex-based dress and grooming codes and discrimination based on all forms of gender non-conformity may be successfully challenged in the future, something important to feminists.The decision in the Harris case is far more problematic for feminists concerned abut the maintenance of sex-based rights. True, Judge Gorsuch did not fully embrace transgender ideology,; he did not deny the existence of sex; he didn't use the popular expression among transactivists, "assigned at birth", and instead, referred to "observed sex at birth.", Read the full article

[timelightbox]

PHOTO: LINDSAY MORRIS

Meet the New Generation of Gender-Creative Kids

Lindsay Morris photographs a rural retreat where kids are free to be themselves

[riffmistress]

Some thoughts

You know how sometimes you get feelings that you can't explain until something big happens and it all makes sense? Well that's how I feel about my recent coming out as gender-neutral. Ever since I was really young I felt like I did not have a gender. I had female parts that I liked and I had long hair that I loved. I did not mind my body at all, would not wear pink, and would dress however the fuck I please. My favorite outfit was pants but no shirt. Society told me I was female but my brain couldn't really make sense of what that meant. I had a hard time sticking to what people told me girls were supposed to do. I wasn't a tom-boy in the least, though. I sucked at sports and played with barbies and listened to the Spice Girls (sporty was my fav) and that's because that was what I was surrounded by. I liked those things because I liked them, but not because I was a girl and was supposed to like them. During middle school I definitely had a drag phase, with my huge band shirts and baggy cargo pants. My mom told me she thought I was going to become a lesbian someday. I'm sure many thought the same. This bothered me not because I think negatively of being homosexual (most definitely the opposite) but because people assume that gender expression is automatically connected to the type of people you are attracted to. I love men and had my first huge crush when I was 4 years old (okay he was on TV. Bobby Budnick from Salute Your Shorts. Long-haired ginger guitar player dude. Ugh). I've been in a committed relationship with my love Chris for two years. Although I've only felt strong attraction towards men, I felt this pull like I belong somewhere in the queer community. It didn't really make sense because I am straight, but through reconnecting with my deep feelings I rediscovered my connection with my gender identity and now I feel like I have a community full of other queer folks who support and accept each other whether it is their sexual orientation or gender and gender identity that make them queer. I love being able to express my masculine side and to have an infatuation with and sexual connection with the male body and gender-expression. At the same time, I love my female side and being feminine and wearing makeup and wearing flowers in my hair and cute dresses. My brain does what it pleases and feels what it feels. The only thing I can really say for sure is I am who I am. I'm a creature of some sorts that exists beyond the binary. I'm really happy I get to finally be open about this and to take steps to express it everyday. 

[restlesscourage]

Today, apparently, I am a boi.

First, a disclaimer to my parents: please, don't read this. It's just going to make you upset. Save us both a headache and leave this one alone. Thank you.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

Today, apparently, I am a boi.

My gender presentation on any given day is, at the very least, androgynous. Usually, I'm leaning masculine. I am occasionally read as male (though rarely when I am at work, because my "professional" voice is quite decidedly feminine and is the only thing that ever makes me feel dysphoric). Today, however, it has happened several times.

It started when I was talking with my boifriend on Skype. We got to talking about glasses, and how adorable it is when cute little old people have those coke-bottle lenses that make their eyes look huge, and ze made some comment about "when we're little old men together." Now, I don't identify as male, and ze knows this. But it fit. (Actually, as soon as ze said it, it felt right. I can far more easily see myself as a little old guy than as a little old lady. A little old guy who knits, wears sweater vests, reads all the time, tells great stories, and chases children with his cane. Totally. And I'm sure all of my friends who just read that are nodding and thinking, "Yep, that's Alyx.")

Later, I was getting dinner at Chipotle. I was greeted at the counter by, "What can I get for you, sir? I mean, ma'am? I mean, sorry..." I assured the nice woman behind the counter that it was fine and proceeded with my order, leaving her visibly perplexed. What was I?

A few hours later, I stopped at Target to pick up a few things, and while I was there I decided to peruse the menswear section. I found a very handsome v-neck argyle sweater, but I wasn't sure if it would work with my binder, so I wandered over to the fitting rooms. Immediately, I was struck by almost crippling anxiety. There were two sets of rooms...and they were gendered. Which side was I supposed to use? I was trying on clothing from the men's section, but when it comes to gendered rooms, I still usually pick the women's side. But if there were women in those rooms who read me as male, I would probably have an ugly situation on my hands.

Just as I was about to run away, the attendant, a little woman in her late sixties or early seventies, came in.

"How many items?" she asked.

I looked in my basket. "Two," I mumbled. She handed me the appropriate rectangle of brightly-colored plastic.

"This side," she said, waving me politely in the direction of the sign proclaiming "men's & boys' fitting rooms".

"Thank you," I said, in a voice lowered only slightly by intention.

There was a different attendant at the desk when I emerged. She was a young woman in her twenties, and as I handed back the red number two tag, I saw a hint of confusion cross her face.

I headed back to the men's department and picked up some boxers. Why not? I'm a boi today.

[restlesscourage]

On Moving Things and Being a Gentleman

I helped my friend Kjensmo move today. He needed someone strong to help move the last of his furniture (a couple of couches, a mattress and box spring, the headboard for his bed, and a desk) from his old apartment to the house he just moved into. I was happy to volunteer. I like feeling helpful, and while I know I am not the strongest individual, I am still stronger than a lot of people, and stubborn besides, which seem to be good traits to have when you're moving big things around. 

Things I enjoyed about this particular moving experience:

I got to help a friend out on his birthday. 

I got to be strong. 

I got to hang out with Kjensmo and Lucas, who are seriously awesome people.

Things that were less enjoyable:

Kjensmo's dad and brother, who came to help, were assholes about the whole thing. So was the guy whose truck we were using to haul things. The fact that it was Kjensmo's birthday was pretty much ignored, as were people's preferences in regards to pronouns. 

Being told ahead of time, "I bet, since you're a girl, you can get out of doing the heavy lifting."

Being asked, while carrying one end of a couch, if it wasn't just a little too heavy for me. 

Basically, there was a lot of misogyny and rigid adherence to normative gender roles going on, and that was frustrating. As a more or less genderless being who tends toward "butch" or "gentleman" as gender labels much more often than "femme" or "lady," my skin crawls when I am told I can't or shouldn't do something because I am a "girl." Why should my gender have anything to do with my ability to lift a couch?

While I don't claim "girl" as my gender, I realize that that's how most people perceive me. I know how to play at "girl," and I call myself Dragon's girlfriend about as often as i call myself hir partner. I don't mind being thought of as a girl...I just don't like the expectations that come with that label. 

I won't say I've never felt like a girl, because I did, and occasionally still do. And I won't say I feel like a boy, because, to be honest, I'm not usually sure what "boy" feels like, although sometimes I think I know. I will say that for a number of years now, I have felt like a gentleman, and therein lies the bulk of my gender identity: not specifically the "man" part, but the whole concept of gentleman as the person who holds open doors and schleps furniture up and down stairs and defends the honor of hir loved ones and tries to make people feel seen and valued and important. My gender identity is an amalgamation of chivalry and respect and feminist sensibility and queer pride, all mashed together to create the glorious, gender adjacent chaos that is my heart.

I just wish there was a way to make that more apparent to the world.

[restlesscourage]

I have very little actual confidence that any of the pieces I submitted (basically, rewrites of the four things I posted back during Pride Month) will be selected for the show. They're decent, one or two of them are even good, but I'm not getting my hopes up. But what an awesome opportunity, right? I am so going to try to be involved in this, even if none of my pieces get selected.