#genderfailure

[hawkeyeflags]

boyfailure , genderfailure , and girlfailure for anon!

[miseryfallen]

Losergirlboyfailure / Loserboygirlfailure:

A gender related to being a girlboy, a loser, and a failure. And / or a gender related to being a loser of a boy / girl and a failure of a girl / boy. May also be used as a more general identity label for the same!

Colors from girlboyfail / girlboyloser & flag template from genderfail coining post.

Feel free to use this as a template for loser/fail flags, I guess? Woe, loserfailures be upon you.

[chronoport]

GiRLBOYFAiL !!

(PT: girlboyfail)

A failgender for when one is both a girlboy and a failure, or when one has failed at being a girlboy !!

Requested by anon !!

[lesbiandartagnan]

playing male characters makes me feel like i'm a boy deep down but i lowkey have homework so idc about that rn

[homophobicgerardwayau]

Regarding pronouns, it's interesting that after spending my entire early 20's screaming 'HE, HE, HIM! HE!' I am now at a place where being misgendered in public really does not affect me. Like, I like to look androgenous, so 'misgendering' will happen. Yes, our gender is ours and it is unique to us but isn't it also a performance? By that line of thinking then is our gender partially a perception made by our audience (Death of The Author etc)? Gerardgirl feels more accurate than Gerardboy, but perhaps that is because the idea of fandom is so heavily gendered to be a feminine pastime. Am I more in touch with my discarded feminine qualities when I engage with 'Gerard' the concept? Starting to think this gender thing is all a bit of nonsense! X

[agenderfailure]

I saw a call for submissions. Calling all women and female identifying persons. This identity? Is it still mine? Does genderfluid still encapsulate this womanhood?

[agenderfailure]

When I came out to Max, I said I was genderfluid. He asked me if that meant I was trans, if I felt trans. My answer was something between I don’t know, and no. My answer now is yes, I am trans.

[agenderfailure]

I’ve spent the day searching desperately for a photo of me, being trans, from 2015. Back when my tumblr was new, before the deletion incident, I was very gay on the internet. I came out to the first person ever as bisexual when I was 15. Approximately a few months after I was posting photos of myself on tumblr, chest-flattened, hair tucked into my beanie, calling myself handsome. Sometimes I even asked if anyone else thought I would make a cute boy. I remember always comparing myself to soft, feminine boys, trying to be them. Unsurprisingly this time also resulted in some of the most feminine outward expression of my life everywhere else. In real life, Instagram, and Facebook, I was wearing dresses and lipstick and heavy eyeliner. It was all skirts and selfies with lips slightly parted. But here it was grunge, boobless, angry boy.

My flirtation with the idea of being trans was brief, a between boyfriends kind of gig. I loved being praised for my femininity, my strong-but-pretty outward expression. I still did the boy things when I could afford it. Wearing his clothes, cutting my hair, diving into nerd culture to be around men more. Eventually, I stopped considering myself as woman-adjacent and just went with whatever accrued the most gold stars. This resulted in me only being comfortable when I was alone, and just thinking my boyish attitude was because I was bi. I’d seen lesbians look like young men, and I was kind of like almost a lesbian so I could do it too.

Fast forward to NOW, 10-19-21, when I finally was forced to come out to my boyfriend. I wanted a binder. I had been falling in envy when I saw trans-masculine people on the internet, or butches from the past. I wanted a nice suit, some baggy cargo shorts. Did he take it well? No. Is it taking it any better? Yes, but… am I still hiding away sometimes behind other peoples expectations? Yes. Sometimes.

I think if I had had access to the internet at a younger age my self discovery would have happened much faster, and much more clearly than it has. I am 24 now, almost 10 years later, and just now allowing myself to wholly be myself always. I am agender, genderfluid, genderqueer… I don’t care. My pronouns are they/them and I do not wish to embody the binary. I wish to exist. And I’m always still figuring it out. Everyday I feel like a new person.