Jun 18
Tumblr users will say "queer history" and mean "midcentury archival records from a specific US-American city that I have extrapolated into a universal mythos" and not even blink
seen from South Korea
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from Malaysia
seen from Finland
seen from Singapore
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Russia
seen from Ukraine
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Italy
Tumblr users will say "queer history" and mean "midcentury archival records from a specific US-American city that I have extrapolated into a universal mythos" and not even blink
“men can’t be oppressed” -> men of colour
“white men can’t be oppressed” -> gay men
“heterosexual men can’t be oppressed” -> trans men
“cis-het men can’t be oppressed” -> intersex men
“perisex men can’t be oppressed” -> disabled men
“able-bodied men can’t be oppressed” -> neurodivergent men
“cis-het perisex white able-bodied neurotypical men can’t be oppressed” -> buddy let me tell you about wealth and class and homelessness and immigrants and minority languages and cultures and being a child and being an elderly person and and and
we can keep doing this all day but the reality of the world is that very few people don’t face any kind of oppression at all and everyone exists in a complicated, intersecting web where they have privileges over some people in some contexts and some others are have privilege over them in other contexts. no one individual is incapable of enacting oppression and if you think that about yourself you need to go away and interrogate that belief.
I need to say something and I need y'all to be calm
if it isn't actively bad or harmful, no representation should be called "too simple" or "too surface level"
I have a whole argument for this about the barbie movie but today I wanna talk about a show called "the babysitters club" on Netflix
(obligatory disclaimer that I watched only two episodes of this show so if it's super problematic I'm sorry) (yes. I know it's based on a book, this is about the show)
this is a silly 8+ show that my 9 year old sister is watching and it manages to tackle so many complex topics in such an easy way. basic premise is these 13 year old girls have a babysitting agency.
in one episode, a girl babysits this transfem kid. the approach is super simple, with the kid saying stuff like "oh no, those are my old boy clothes, these are my girl clothes". they have to go to the doctor and everyone is calling the kid by her dead name and using he/him and this 13 year old snaps at like a group of doctors and they all listen to her. it's pure fantasy and any person versed in trans theory would point out a bunch of mistakes.
but after watching this episode, my little sister started switching to my name instead of my dead name and intercalating he/him pronouns when talking about me.
one of the 13 years old is a diabetic and sometimes her whole personality is taken over by that. but she has this episode where she pushes herself to her limit and passes out and talks about being in a coma for a while because of not recognizing the limits of her disability.
and this allowed my 9 year old sister to understand me better when I say "I really want to play with you but right now my body physically can't do that" (I'm disabled). she has even asked me why I'm pushing myself, why I'm not using my crutches when I complain about pain.
my mom is 50 years old and watching this show with my sister. she said the episode about the diabetic girl helped her understand me and my disability better. she grew up disabled as well, but she was taught to shut up and power through.
yes, silly simple representation can annoy you if you've read thousands of pages about queer liberation or disability radical thought, but sometimes things are not for you.
butch is an extremely diverse identity that intersects lesbianism and strives for a masculinity that is not rooted in the patriarchy. butch is a gender identity that means many things to many different people, not just cis white lesbians. that includes lesbians of color, butches on t, butches on e, butches who are trans, butches who transitioned, butches who use he/him, butches who have a weird gender, boydykes, lesboys, and especially butches of the working class. if you don't support them then you don't actually support butches.
I gotta address this misconception now that I've seen it twice. Y'ALL -
Transmasculine people have BEEN writing feminist theory centering the trans experience - Judith Butler, Jack Halberstam, José Esteban Muñoz (edit - incredible theorist, not transmasc sorry!!! more transmasc theorists in reblogs), Toby Beauchamp, Hil Malatino, Abram J. Lewis, Christopher Lee...
Do not believe anyone who tells you transmasculine people aren't speaking about our experiences, aren't theorizing, aren't publishing theory.
Do not be complicit in our erasure.
tumblr is so america centric its crazy. shut up about "trans men dont have struggles because people ignore them". just admit you live in a place where theres not many out trans men and mascs, especially in conservative areas. consider that those trans men and mascs might be trapped in the mormon church which is famously misogynistic. you live in hell with no guaranteed abortion access and a dictator, perhaps youd understand transmasculine theory if they werent forced to be house wives because of the extremist christian cults the rest of us are horrified by. i go outside and theres visibly trans people everywhere. is there really a lack of or ignorance of any group of trans people? or are they being sent to conversion therapy?
Free (mostly academic) aro theory resources
On Amatonormativity
Amatonormativity, Aromanticism, and What Defines a Relationship - Rilee Granger
Amatonormativity in the Law: An Introduction - Silver Flight
"Allonormativity and Compulsory Sexuality" (chapter 6 of Encyclopedia of Queer Studies in Education) - Stephanie Anne Shelton
'I Dont Want To be a Playa No More': An Exploration of the Denigrating effects of 'Player' as a Stereotype Against African American Polyamorous Men - Justin L. Clardy
On Relationship Anarchy
The short instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy - Andie Nordgren
The Relationship Anarchy website
Thinking Relationship Anarchy from a Queer Feminist Approach - Roma De las Heras Gómez
Beyond romantic love – an analysis of how the dilemma of closeness vs. autonomy is handled in relationship anarchy discourse - Ricardo Guillén
The Ethics of Relationship Anarchy - Ole Martin Moen
On community
Examining aromantic and asexual inclusion in queer-serving organizations - based on Lauren Lichty's work
Exploring Aromanticism Through an Online Qualitative Investigation With the Aromantic Community: “Freeing, Alienating, and Utterly Fantastic” - James Fowler et al.
Community Listening Sessions with Aromantic People: Summary and Recommendations Report
Aurea Aro Census
Sexuality, romantic orientation, and masculinity: Men as underrepresented in asexual and aromantic communities - Hannah Tessler
On QueerPlatonic Relationships
Queerplatonic Zucchinis: A Short Primer - Omnes and Nihil (unsure)
Queering the Nuclear Family - Katie Linder
Queer(ing) consensual nonmonogamies, queering therapy: queer intimacy, kinship, and experiences of CNM in LGBTQIA+ lives - Christian Klesse et al.
On intersectionality
Intimacy and Desire Through the Lens of an Aro-Ace Woman of Color
Being Aroflux & Black - Kimberley Butler
Transitioning into Aromanticism as a Trans Student - Amethyst
Existing and Defying Stereotypes as an A-spec Disabled Person - Sapphire Crimson Claw
A Reflection on the March Carnival of Aros (several testimonies by aros of color and non-cis/non-het aros are linked in this article)
Other aro-related interesting reads
New Dimensions, New Directions: Asexualities and Aromanticism in the 21st Century - Megan Carroll et al.
Enriching the Story: Asexuality and Aromanticism in Literature - Adrienne Whisman
The Importance of Representation for Lesser-Known Sexual Identities on the Example of Asexuality and Aromanticism - Jasmin Kiechle
Experiences of Italian Asexual and Aromantic Individuals in Healthcare Settings: from Explicitly Aggressive to Affirming Interactions
Other lists of aro-related ressources (not all sources listed in these are free though)
by Aurea
The Asexuality and Aromanticism Bibliography
If you know of any other free ressource about aromanticism please consider adding to this list
Important aspect of the conversation when it comes to trans men, and trans people in general, is understanding the distinction between personal gender identity and white patriarchal gender ideals.
Personal gender identity is diverse, and can vary from person to person, and can be expressed in a variety of ways.
White patriarchal gender ideals are strict, and are defined by proximity to power.
When a transmasc person says “hey I don’t have male privilege because I’m trans” they don’t mean they aren’t a man, they mean they aren’t a man according to white patriarchal gender ideals. They are acknowledging the lack of proximity to power that results from their transness, and that directly interferes with their ability to live up to the expectations of manhood. This is, of course, exacerbated if they are a person of color.
It is not “misgendering” to say that a transmasc person does not align with the white patriarchal gender ideal of manhood, because many men dont-cis and trans alike. Trans men are men in SPITE of their lack of proximity to power, because as queer people we cannot allow our personhood to be defined by white patriarchal gender ideals.
If you are denying the struggles that trans men and transmascs face simply because they are men YOU ARE ENFORCING THESE IDEALS, because you are affirming the fact that manhood is exclusively defined by proximity to power. I hope I do not have to explain why this is bad.
And for the record, womanhood is also defined by proximity to power, not by lack of it. This is why white women are seen as more womanly than women of color, because while they still are ideally subservient to men, there still is a power dynamic that they hold over other women. (The womanhood thing is a bit more complicated for me to explain well).