i think i wish I was a boy.
(this is just be rambling. don't take anything I say to heart, if I say anything that seems that way. this is just me venting about gender. I don't know if how I'm feeling is valid or even true. its just how I'm feeling. and I need to let it out.)
i think. when I was a little girl, I used to want and cry about the fact I would never be able to love another girl the way a boy does. I used to just say, "oh, that was just me being unaware of me being gay." that I just thought I wanted to be a boy because I liked girls.
but as I get older, the more I see that maybe I do want to be a boy. I don't know if what I feel is valid or not. I don't talk to people about my gender issues. about my identity. because, honestly, I don't know either. who am I? I still don't know. all I know is I have a passion to help. that's the only thing I know about myself.
i don't know if I'd say I'm trans. sure, I used to think of my life as a boy. how id dress and do my hair. how id feel happy and good. I just kinda wish to be a guy sometimes. but I think its just the "normal", "I wish I was a guy because life would be better"
i'd say I love being a girl. but I honestly don't. being a girl has caused me more heartbreak than not. it has caused me more issues then not. but I know I could never transition if that's what I end up wanting when I'm older. because with the way the worlds going, I don't know if I'll be able to. and I don't know. life's confusing. gender is confusing.
am I just a confused girl? am I confused? is there something wrong with me? I'm so proud to those of the trans community. but am I actually apart of that community? or am I just a dumb girl who thinks life would be easier as a guy?
i just wish I was born a boy sometimes.
is that too weird to ask?
