thnx. I am miserable with the whole process - how did you get out of your let it rot phase? I'm just bored out of my mind. I dont have the energy to fight anyone.
Anyway, hoped you enjoyed the BTS album, even my mom listened to their music. I'm the only one who hasn't.
hi friend! so sorry for the delay in my response, i was really thinking about how to answer this one. here, it's been so sunny, but also delightfully cool. i hope some beautiful weather has found you wherever you are too.
cw: mental health struggles
its a bit of an uncomfortable answer, but i'll do my best to be honest.
i'd spent many years at a disastrous level of depression. sure, i was scraping by, but just barely. i hated my job, my apartment. i was so lonely. for years. the summer things changed, my phone died, i was experiencing a months-long unnamed illness that had me sleeping 12-18 hours a day, my car experienced "catastrophic engine failure" on the highway, i planning to drop out of school, on and on and on.
i was journaling one day when i found myself writing: "am i comfortable being miserable?"
honestly, i froze for a sec, and then shut my journal. i didn't open it again for six weeks.
when i was ready, i opened it back up. i was so used to struggling that i trained myself to accept misery as my internal environment. i began asking, "am i doing this because it's comfortable or because it's what's right for me?" all of a sudden, i started seeing these little doorways into something more joyful, easier: i could just apply for a new apartment. i could change my thesis project. i could stop giving a shit about school drama. i could introduce myself to the barista i thought i was super cool and wanted to be friends with.
what i realized was that it was the trying for something better that meant something. showing up and saying, "what if i just give it a shot" and then taking a small step--sending an email. doing a google search. telling a friend, "i want to write something that brings me more joy." i began to build trust in myself again.
to be clear, i do not believe mental health struggles are an issue of mindset. but this shift in my approach to life, of taking agency over my well-being, helped me make enough progress that my mental health ended up shifting too. there was more safety in my body. i started to believe that i could take care of myself. i started to think that i could help myself. and then i did.
it's a long process. everyone's way out is going to look a little different. but i'm here, 100% rooting you on.
and yes, i'm in love with the album. i hope you have a chance to listen to it soon!
I won't lie. I hate it. The job. Job hunting is awful and my parents just warned me to get the fuck out of their house. They think I have adjustmental issues. I do not even have enough money to go on holiday. But I am so indifferent to the job hunting process that I'm just rotting.
Glad I helped yourfriend.
hey, friend. that's a lot to be carrying on your shoulders right now, especially without the support of your family. i know that feeling of being stuck, not sure what the next step is, feeling like i'm rotting away. it almost feels like there's no window to look out of, no road to walk down.
i'm rooting for you though. you deserve a job that doesn't drive you insane and a calm home to come home to. i'm crossing my fingers that those things are yours, soon. the job hunting process is never fun or easy, but i'm hoping that some ease comes across your path as you keep working towards it! you got this!
i hate my job, i read your blog to stay calm. i hate all my collagues, but your ff is fun. i don't even like bts and here i am on weekends.
if I’m honest, I write to stay calm, have fun, and find a place to turn to. where I live doesn’t have access to crazy dramatic nature like sh., but writing it has taught me how much i can learn to love what’s close by. it makes me so so happy that these funny little stories can gift a little something to a stranger on the internet too.
also, i did send those notes out and one person wrote back to say the note was just what they needed to do a hard task—I wouldn’t have sent that email without a nudge from you. your positivity is affecting strangers you don’t even know!! thank you!
im out here rooting for you, friend! may a better job find you, may some inspiration for fun cross your path—and i hope we get to cross paths again soon!
Beep beep! 🚘🚘 💗 incoming love train! I appreciate you 🫵 and recognize the amazing presence you have on this site 💥, thank you for contributing to our community! 🌷 send this to all the blogs you love! If you want to, spread the love! 💌
helllooo thank yOU for contributing to making my day! this gave me a reminder that i wanted to send a few "thank you for being amazing" notes to some friends!
💗 incoming love train! I appreciate you and recognize the amazing presence you have on this site, thank you for contributing to our community! 🌷 send this to all the blogs you love! don't forget to spread the love. 💌
