Somebody told me you're excellent at AGSZC angst, so may I humbly request your angstiest headcanon?
Oh shit, hi! Totally didn’t scream seeing this. Nope. I’m assuming by somebody you mean a certain well seasoned bird bird we both know👀…
Angst huh? Ooo I know!
(Small warning ⚠️ for allusions to EDs and body dismorphia I don’t go into huge detail on either, but I don’t know your triggers so proceed with caution if needed.)
Genesis is far more similar to Sephiroth he knows or will acknowledge. It’s something that bugs Angeal because if they just communicated better they’d see there is no need to be covetous or jealous of the other. However, they are both traumatised idiots and it is a waste of time trying to force them to talk.
For all Angeal pokes fun at at Genesis about growing up rich, he knows he had a bad childhood. Like Sephiroth he was held to an impossible standard; one that to this day Genesis doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to achieve. He was ignored by his father and his mother obsessed over vain things such as his weight and the shape of his facial features. Part of what Genesis hates about sephiroth is how beautiful he is, how muscular, how physically healthy and perfect he is.
To Genesis, Sephiroth doesn’t just represent the perfect soldier but the perfect son. So in the early years of being a soldier, Genesis restricted his own meals, read more and more to build a better vocabulary, planned surgeries for his face (that he thankfully never did) and talked obsessively about his looks. This manifests as the Genesis everybody knows and dislikes. The Genesis who boasts and pontificates and has the lexical field of a thesaurus.
Angeal knows that this is largely a cover up for just how insignificant Genesis feels. He knows that the minute Genesis is alone, truly alone, the hatred of himself seeps back in and he’d quite happily rip of his own skin and start anew. Sephiroth understands to some extent that this is the case, but he is too busy dealing with the emotional bruises Genesis’ jealousy and rage cause him that it’s hard to see past it to the hurting little boy underneath.
The fact that Genesis was an incredible inventor doesn’t even register to Gen anymore, but it’s the achievement that sparked the need for approval. His father had looked at him for that. He had said he was proud of him. His mother had not picked at his appearance for once, she had seen her little boy as brilliant… “a real money maker,”. Now Genesis sees the praise for what it was, self-involved. They were proud because it brought them profit, not because their son was clever. He’d felt so angry realising that.
He had everything he wanted growing up. Everything was perfect and just so…. His nannies put up with his silly games and crying over scraped knees, his mother at least existed in his world. His father didn’t hit him so he guessed he should be greatful. He wasn’t experimented on (that he knows of.) and he was safe (to his knowledge.). He shouldn’t want Sephiroth’s life!
And he doesn’t. But he wants his physical existence, the praise the glory. He wants for his mother to look at Sephiroth and say “look at what Genesis is doing, you could take a few pointers from him,”. He wants his father to be Glad it was Genesis they had and not Sephiroth.
He just wanted to look at himself and not want to tear himself apart. He just wanted to not have to be so careful with his physical appearance, his weight, the shape of his eyes, his hair, his… everything.
Hating Sephiroth was easier than hating himself… it’s a shame that hating Sephiroth meant hurting him.
You have no idea how much I have wanted to write that in long form lol. Thank you for the chance to get angsty!❤️