Discover Top Posts Tagged with #gentileproblems

tagged by gentileproblems (thank youu!)

Name: my hebrew name is Carmel Nicknames: Bard Birthday: 18th June  Gender: i don't have a gender identity. "woman/girl" is vastly more convenient. Sexual Orientation: ace as hell  Height: ???????/ maybe 5"4 last time i checked?????  Favourite Colour: iridescent turquoise or maybe rose gold. shinies.  Time and date: 19:02 10/02/1015  Average hours of sleep: *laughing* *crying* *laughing whilst crying* Last thing I googled: HPMOR wrap parties london  First thing that comes to my mind: shiru l'Hashem shir chadash (jewish music stays in my head 5ever)  One place that makes me happy: makeup shop  How many blankets I sleep under: three (two thin duvets & 1 blanket)  Favourite fictional character: um. jane eyre? shes the one i read the book of most recently  Favourite animation(s): ha! no Favourite TV show: ha! no  Favourite beverage: SO MANY CHOICE. is it cheating to say kiddush wine? it tastes passable at best but it means good things. good associations.  Favourite food: SO MANY CHOICE this is terrible. umm. roasted cauliflower??? it is tied with approximately 70 others Last movie I saw in theatres: uuuuugggghh gosh this was aaaaaaaaaaaaaaages agooo.... i genuinely do not recall. i cannot remember. at a guess, Man of Steel? Dream Holiday: a country cottage with nice birds and walks but also mysteriously fast wifi and a vibrant jewish community? or back to drisha. i <3 drisha.  Dream wedding: nope, fuck you Dream job: writing things! editing things! proofreading things! words

i tag (with no obligation to answer, just an indication of interest in your lives)

animatedamerican, queenshulamit, readingsocialjusticeanime, nicejewishqueer, ozymandias271,

#about me #food tw #gentileproblems #quoth the maiden

Gettlefish

Anontisemite: Whether or not you're willing to admit it, whether or not you even realize it, you are oppressed. I mean look at the ridiculous dress code, being forced to cover everything from toes to hair, just put on some pants already and don't wear long sleeves when it's too hot, it's not healthy! Being forced to be a housewife and bear children, you're living like it's 1950. You are supporting patriarchy and holding back feminism by adhering to a patriarchal religion.

Gentileproblems: I’m being oppressed by dressing how I want you guuuyyyzzzzz…. :( I don’t know how I stand it.

Also, literally nobody is making me get married? I’ll get married and have children because that’s what I want out of life, but those aren’t the only things I want, for crying down the sink! My ambitions won’t end the moment I get engaged, because I’m an actual human being, not a weird cause for you to champion without my say-so. Get lost, I’m not interested.

Anontisemite: Look honey, it's not your fault that you don't recognize your own oppression but you and other women like you need help. Religion is merely a farce created by men to control women. The feminist cause wants to help you, that's what we're here for. Of course you think you're husband will let you chase your ambitions once your married but that's not how religious marriage works. You'll be nothing but a trussed slave and that's a tragedy.

Gentileproblems: Can someone please tell Jacob he is oppressing me he still hasn’t messaged me back and I’m thinking this is to do with our horrible patriarchal religion.

Arothejew: Jacob! Young man, what do you have to say for yourself

Jacob-the-pianist: I'm sorry I'm male, I'm sorry I'm white, I'm sorry I'm male, I'm sorry I'm white

Anontisemite: Oh you poor girl. I hope one day you'll realizing how vile and silly the Jewish religion is because you need help. You could have such a full, happy life but instead you've confined yourself to misery and you don't even know it.

Gentileproblems: 1/10 trolling try harder next time

Anontisemite: I assure you I am not trolling, I want to help you and women like you. I have no problems with Jews but I do have a problem with Judaism and organized religions that inherently oppress women.

Gentileproblems: Kay sure… how about you help by listening to us, rather than fighting for us? I’m not feeling particularly oppressed, here. Are you?

Gentileproblems (general): did anon seriously think sending me anonymous messages telling me my entire culture was Wrong would make me want to convert? Oh, goyim…

Satirenon 1: breaking news an anti semitic anon has caused jews everywhere to decide to be atheists OH NO IT'S HAPPENING TO MEEE *all memory of anything relating to judaism in my life is suddenly gone and i am now a free un oppressed woman*

Gentileproblems: oh, teach me your ways, un-oppressed one! is there hope for one such as me, comfortable in her religion and proud of her people? or will i have to moulder in the cave of deluded yidden… only time will tell.

Anontisemite: Oh honey, I don't want you to convert. I want you to be a secular, free independent woman who doesn't rely on a misogynistic culture of lies and rules designed to keep you oppressed. Surely deep down you realize organized religion is a farce created by men? It's so obvious. If you weren't tied to a backwards culture that didn't allow women education you'd be able to comprehend better. I'm so sorry, please learn to accept help when it's extended. That is what feminism is here for.

Gentileproblems: white feminism has reached its zenith

Anontisemite: I am not certainly not antisemitic, I do not hate Jews, I want to help their women. What I hate Judaism, Islam and any organized religion. They are forms of misogynistic, systematic oppression.

Gentileproblems: 'I'm not raaaaaacist, I just hate these two heavily racialised religions…'

Anontisemite: though i too was once proud of my religion and my people i have seen the light and become a truely liberated woman 100% of anti semitic feminists agree that it is the right course of action so let go of the misogynistic tethers of religion and truely free yourself from your harmful self oppression like i did

Gentileproblems: assimilate and let go of your culture i a random anon know far more about it than you do

Satirenon 1: HELP THE SECOND STAGE IS HAPPENING I FEEL MYSELF BECOMING KNOWLEDGEABLE I NOW UNDERSTAND MY WROOONGS OH THE LIGHT OF SEEING THE WORLD FREE FROM THE HORRIBLE LIES THAT RELIGION TOLD ME I NOW AM EDUCATEEED

Gentileproblems: at the third stage, you ascend to a higher plane of existence, like on the original Stargate show.

Commentanon 1: i hate judaism but im teeeechiiincally not anti semitic right? -actual quote from the anon

Gentileproblems: i know, like how do you even rationalise that what even

Anontisemite: I am not antisemitic, I am antireligion. All I want is to end the systematic oppression of women inherent to Judaism and Islam. It is my life's mission and one day I hope to save all of the women like you, women who trapped and hurting and don't even know it.

Gentileproblems: Did you know Judaism and Islam are the only perpetrators of misogyny ever? GREYFACE TELLS ALL!

Commentanon 2: oh g-d of course anon doesnt include christianity just islam and judaism yet somehow aren't anti semitic or islamaphobic right? anti religion yet only against the two religions with the most hate and violence directed towards them? totally just looking out for women right?

Gentileproblems: i know, right? noooo bias there, no siree….

Anontisemite: You can still be a Jew, you can eat bagels and gettlefish and all of that, but you should be able to wear regular clothes without having rocks thrown at you, have intercourse without needing to do it through a cloth with a hole, not be forced to live separately from other people once a month. It's barbaric. Help me help you. Help me help women like you. This is going to be my career, rescuing the downtrodden women of archaic religious cults.

Gentileproblems: Okay, this is actually genuinely offensive. Where on Earth did you learn about Judaism, Stormfront? For G-d’s sake, choose another career at the very least- nobody will want to be rescued by you.

Commentanon 3: These anons today are even more ludicrous than last week's neo-nazis. Seriously talk about being so "open-minded" that your brains fall out and your mind closes again behind them.

Gentileproblems: Tell me about it, I have a permanent look of disgust etched onto my face by now.

Commentanon 4: Don't let them bother you. That one is literally a xtian-atheist religious missionary. Just treat them like you would any other xtian missionary.

Gentileproblems: 'Nope, I don't want your holy book… I've already got one…. it's vintage…'

Commentanon 5: wtf anon and ur stiiiiill not anti semitic? i'm waiting for what exactly anons definition of anti semitism is or does it even exist since how can you oppress someone who wants to oppressed or whatever they are trying to say jewish women are doing

Gentileproblems: it’s a horrible, horrible journey of ‘not antisemitic i swear’ and i can’t get off

Satirenon 2: I want to be offended but all I can focus on now is gettlefish. Seriously. GETTLEFISH

Gentileproblems: It’s like kettle crisps mixed with gefilte fish, I assume.

Commentanon 6: anon is just jealous of the way i work this super cute skirt with my bright colorful tights and that my marriage will be more emotionally fulfilling because it's not about sex all the time (it's also been proven that because a husband and wife can't have each other sexually all the time they appreciate it more when they do)

Gentileproblems: Oh my gosh, talk frum fashion to me! And I’ve never heard of that second point- I shall Google at once!

Commentanon 7: is gettlefish like non kosher gefilte fish?

Gentileproblems: I think this is one of those things that ‘everyone knows’ about Jews except for Jews

Commentanon 7: oh like hanukkah trees? (always spelled that way because fuck the original hebrew spellings lets at 2 k's for the hell of it because goyim)

Gentileproblems: yep, that’s totally A Thing, because judaism is christianity in a funny hat.

Anontisemite: I don't know what Stormfront, I'm a New Age nondenominational culturally Christian atheist Buddhist. As I've already explained to you I am not antisemitic or islamaphobic, I am anti-Judaism and anti-Islam. Goodness, I wish you were allowed an education where they teach you these things. I don't have a problem with the secular women and I want to help the poor souls who are 'religious' (rapped). It's the men I take issue with, for forcing girls with potential into little more than slaves.

Gentileproblems: Rapped? Did Tupac put you up to this or something? And good grief, that first sentence is the most white-goy line I have ever read.

Satirenon 3: help i think i actually got second hand white goy from that first sentence im dying

Gentileproblems: do you have a weird urge to get a backwards hebrew tattoo? we’ll find a cure, i swear

Satirenon 4: Before your anon I was living my life as a poor, oppressed woman, trapped by the men in my life forcing me to observe archaic rules. This, despite the fact I am a baalat teshuva who was inspired by women and doesn't actually have any men in my life. Not married and absent non-Jewish dad, but they're both oppressing me quite a lot. Thanks to the anon I've realized I can again be free. I will give up my meaningful and beautiful culture that I love. I shall eat gettlefish and run wild.

Gentileproblems: The sarky responses to my anons are the actual best thing. And seriously, someone needs to come up with a recipe for gettlefish, pronto.

Satirenon 5: for gettlefish you should first go to your local store and pick up a few things, gefilte fish, matzo ball mix, latke mix, bagels, lox, chopped liver and cream cheese (just to make sure it isn't kosher). Now go home, and get out a very large mixing bowl and put all of the ingredients into it and mix thoroughly. Place in a large casserole dish and bake until crispy and then eat because it is the single most jewish food in the world according to goyim, add some bacon if you really want to

Gentileproblems: That’s so disgusting I dare someone to make it

Satirenon 5: make it and send to the anon

Gentileproblems: Where do I send it? The Castle of Denial?

Commentanon 8: I literally can't stop laughing. They probably mean to write trapped but I prefer to think they put 'rapped' in parentheses because they want everything in that sentence to be rapped out loud as you read. Break it down now, rap about helping the poor souls.

Gentileproblems: lay me some tasty beats, jumblr. “I don’t like your people but I’m not racist, I swear…”

Satirenon 6: I think your anon is magic. I was a happily oppressed religious women but then I read everything she wrote and

suddenly the world is new, suddenly I am new. My curly hair became straight! My skirt disappeared and was replaced by skinny jeans! I don't know if I can handle all of this freedom yet though, not without a man to guide me. Change me back, oh powerful saviour anon! I'm not ready!

Gentileproblems: Please, we need you to be our white saviour! Oh, whatever shall we do?

Commentanon 9: What the actual fuck is a "New Age nondenominational culturally Christian atheist Buddhist"? Is that a thing?

Gentileproblems: Apparently so… oy.

Satirenon 7: HELP! I chose to practice modesty by covering my hair on holy days and I think I've oppressed myself! Already men are making me little more than a slave although I have an education and so much potential. Damn my religious choices!

Gentileproblems: Gosh darn it straight to heck! Deciding for yourself how you want to be seen, how dare you! That’s for the New Age Christian Buddhist whateveritwas to do!

Anontisemite: I'm sorry to see that you and your friends have resorted to making fun of good intentions. You may not think you need my help but me and other feminists will continue fighting for you nonetheless. I promise that one day we will create a world where you can be free from the bonds of oppressive misogynist religious law and archaic cultural traditions. You are only using negativity to lash out because you fear change, as your religion has taught you. But change is good and it will free you.

Gentileproblems: ngl i laughed

Commentanon 10: I feel like calling you honey just makes the whole thing so patronizing like stop listening to that religion that tells you what to do, I'm going to tell you what to do instead.

Gentileproblems: i knooow! like they don’t even know me! it’s gross as heck frankly- but i’m glad my followers are finding it funny.

Satirenon 8: help though im a lesbian my religion is compelling me to marry a man and become his subservient wife saaavee meeeeee

Gentileproblems: Must…. resist….. anon’s interpretation…. of my religion!

Satirenon 9: Oh..oh my goodness, my magen david necklace was sooo tight and it was choking me but that anon magically broke it and now i can breathe thank g-d or wait am i not supposed to do that anymore

Gentileproblems: Thank Richard Dawkins, probably.

Satirenon 10: anon nooo even though my religion teaches to question our laws and to change with the times it is suddenly morphing into everything you say it iiisss

Gentileproblems: Anon is, in fact, Haruhi Suzumiya

Anontisemite: Laughing is only a defense mechanism but one day you will be grateful for our movement :). There is an ever growling movement of feminist women against organized religion like yours whose mission is to save women like you. We are very well educated about Judaism and your culture and we will help you to adjust to the modern world. Misogyny and systematic oppression of women through forced dress codes and throwing rocks won't happen to you, no one will hurt you. You don't have to fear change.

Gentileproblems: Seriously, who keeps spreading the idea that religious women can’t be feminists? This is frankly depressing, and why we need to educate goyim to free them from their horrible, misogynistic, blinkered ideologies :(

Commentanon 11: It's hard to be convincing when they're sending asks on Anon. Like that's the least personal thing you could do.

Gentileproblems: I know, eh? When it started, I was actually pretty sure they were that ‘women don’t need feminism’ blog from a couple of hours ago, but now I’m not so sure…

Satirenon 11: white feminist goy barbie, she talks! you pull her string and she spouts nonsense!! (idk if anon is actually a she but like you get my point)

Gentileproblems: I kind of hope so, actually, because think of how much more creepy and paternalistic it would be if anon was male.

Commentanon 12: As opposed to cultural Christian atheist Buddhism, which is entirely disorganized.

Gentileproblems: *sniggering* Anyway, correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t the Dalai Lama very much against converts to Buddhism?

Satirenon 12: I somehow seem to have put on a long skirt. Someone please send a secular white "feminist" to help me.

Gentileproblems: I keep thinking of that Monty Python skit, you know, with the peasant shouting ‘Help! Help! I’m being oppressed!’

Anontisemite: Honey, you're being silly! I already have an education because in out free feminist culture women are allowed to learn. You can do it too! And of course a religious women can't be a feminist, it's the exact opposite of feminist. Religion, especially Judaism and Islam, is the source of all misogyny in the world.

Gentileproblems: To be honest there are so many people mocking you in my inbox I thought this was a parody. I am still not quite sure. And.. so do I? Dad’s a university professor, and I got early admission to his uni- had my first class yesterday, actually- where I’m reading Sociology and History. Also, pretty sure a good definition of feminism is that women can do as they please, whatever that means to them.

Satirenon 13: It's all a lie! You've been taught lies your entire life! White goyishé feminists know more than you do about the tradition you were raised in again and again for the past 3326 years. Definitely.

Gentileproblems: No, what are you talking about, they skim-read a Rationalwiki article once! They’re totally qualified to tell me how to live my life!

Satirenon 14: I'm wearing a kippah and a mini skirt at the same time. I'm only have oppressed on my mothers side.

Gentileproblems: :D but oppression is passed down through the mother, donchaknow

Satirenon 11: yeah for all you know anon is a really creepy guy looking to harass jewish feminists and give feminists a bad name

Gentileproblems: yeah p much

Commentanon 13: thats religious misogyny at work, the only true feminist religion is spiritual christian influenced combined with a bastardized eastern """"spiritual"""" religion entirely divorced from from it's actual source and rules and replaced with new ageyness and a hint of racism :)

Gentileproblems: 'Hey, mum and dad! I'm rebelling against you by converting to a watered-down version of a religion I barely understand!'

Satirenon 15: *sighs* Now I have to go tell the three female Rabbis I know personally that none of them should have received an education, because a got on the intertextuality knows Judaism better than us

Gentileproblems: It’s such a drag being oppressed like this, no?

Commentanon 14: Wtf the fuck is "free feminist culture"? I'm laughing so hard. Also kinda offended that anon is equating education with knowledge. Like a lot of people can't afford college or have learning disabilities but they're their own people, fuck off.

Gentileproblems: anon is patronising as heck- go ask them, I don’t know.

Anontisemite: Yes, I see you and the many people mocking me on your blog but I really don't mind because I know that you don't know better. I'm not a man or looking to undermine feminism - why would you even think that? You're a bit paranoid aren't you? Feminism is about female freedom and my life is dedicated to helping women achieve that. Judaism inherently undermines female freedom and that is want to eradicate it and rescue women from it. It's not antisemitism.

Gentileproblems: Alongside Jews, there are atheists, Muslims, and Christians mocking you. Quit while you’re… well, I can’t actually say ‘ahead’, really.

Anontisemite: I don't mind the mockery. I have my cause my cause is you and your fellow oppressed females or Judaism. It doesn't matter if you think you don't need it, a feminist fights for the freedom of all women no matter what. You haven't been taught this but you are woman who has value. You deserve a life without men who shame you for existing and think you have no worth except that which comes forth from your womb.

Gentileproblems: but… you are the only one saying this… can you save me from *you*, please?

Satirenon 16: for $8000 a month i will stop oppressing myself anon

Gentileproblems: yes please anon pay my uni fees

Satirenon 17: I am a Jewish feminist am I causing global warming

Gentileproblems: I want to make a joke about Moses and rising sea levels here….

Anontisemite: Oh honey, let feminism help you be truly free from the bonds of patriarchal religion.

Gentileproblems: we’ve been around a few thousand years, your patronising wheedling isn’t gonna stop that.

Commentanon 15: In all seriousness, what I find most fascinating about the anon is that for someone who claims to want to free me from those telling me what to do etc., she/he is telling me exactly what to do! For someone who claims to want everyone to be free, she/he is not allowing me the freedom to do what I want. In other words, hypocrites will be hypocrites.

Gentileproblems: Goyim gonna goy

Commentanon 16: Anon does know that Judaism is a matriarchal religion, correct? That women are revered and are incredibly valued by Jewish society?

Gentileproblems: what are you talking about religion is BAD forever

Commentanon 17: For all who are trying to say that she is not free while being Jewish is the worst thing you could say. Being free means she can choose what religion she follows. Also the Jewish faith is not oppressive I actually know a female cantor/rabbi who is amazing at what she does. You are being oppressive by telling her she can't be what she wants and saying that you are not being racist even though all your support is stereotypes and from the 1900's get with the time! Take this as a warning

Gentileproblems: Thanks so much, anon! I mean I’m opinionated as all heck, if I didn’t think i was being respected I’d leave, believe me.

#Gentileproblems #gettlefish #original transcript #antisemitism #feminism gone wrong #feminism #Jewish #Islam #islamophobia #humor #sarcasm #satire