#germany x reader

[yawujin]

from an idea i had a while back, i hope you all like it <3

how noisy are they? hetalia edition ♡

tags | smut , nsfw , masturbation , scenario , imagine , headcanons , axis & allies , accent kink , country names used , minors do not interact

author's note* here are my headcanons on what allies/axis sound like!! i'm planning to make another post like this but with the nordics. let me know if you'd like a version of this with the women!! or other select characters! you can read part two here and read part three here !

allies ♡

america has to take several breaths in the middle of jerking himself off. yes, even when it's just him he can tend to get way too excited. edging may not be his strong suit but in the short time he does spend touching himself, he imagines himself in front of someone he finds attractive, waiting for their next command.

has a surprisingly whiny moan, kind of like this.

england can be a little loud at times, other times not so much. mainly when it is not appropriate or acceptable to make such a raucous. as for whoever he's with, he'll also prefer to keep them quiet. (a hand across the mouth, perhaps) he likes to kiss them over and over to quieten his partner. he actually talks a lot during sex, albeit not without some serious stuttering. and though, he is most likely mentally kicking himself for doing so, his partner finds it cute.

when he tries to laugh the nervousness off, he sounds like this.

france likes to talk them through it, or rather, whisper because that is just so much more intimate. he makes sure his lover is comfortable and settled in before anything else happens. he could makeout for hours on end if it were possible—touching them through their clothes until they beg for him to finally start doing everything he told them he wanted to do.

his slow kisses make it feel as though it's been hours, and when he starts up it sounds like this.

canada tends to be grabby when he's with the person he really likes. he tries to at least be subtle in his protectiveness over that one special person. he sucks in a breath when he feels their body on his, desperately rubbing against his to cause some friction. he pulls them in closer, feeling their heat. he praises them, acknowledging the fact that they're not shy.

whenever he praises them, it might sound something like this.

russia seriously fights for his life when it comes to not being loud. he tries to moan as low as possible, which is much easier when he is on top. his voice is deep, and can be very loud when he is moaning. his partner insists that it is not a problem, but he'd truly be upset (and humiliated) if someone outside heard him. he likes to tease with his words, nearly mocking his partner. with a smile on his face, he'll tell them how adorably pathetic they sound for him.

he likes to call them cute nicknames in russian, just like this.

china doesn't care to feed into their accent/language barrier kink. so he tries to teach them chinese instead, even praising them for every word they can pronounce correctly. although, he does still find it sweet how they react whenever he calls them a nickname in his native language. he'd never admit it directly though, opting to call them silly for even liking such a thing. he then proceeds to give them a kiss, telling them to move on to the next part of their lesson.

he's very much a tease!! hoping they don't mind it too much when he sounds like this.

axis ♡

italy does whatever his love asks of him. he figures it'll keep him out of trouble if he does. he likes doing what pleases them. most of the time, anyway. if there is something that's kind of embarrassing for him, he'll whine about for a little bit until his love is able to remind them that he is all theirs and only theirs.

he's very, very cute whenever he sounds like this.

germany will explain everything he is doing or wants to do to his partner right before and as he is doing it. not too strict, but extremely disciplined in how he's working his hands over their body. he is able to coax out these short, low noises from their mouth. his touch makes them squirm, but he immediately holds them still. he's talking them down so they'll relax. giving him the green light to continue to touch them.

he's soft spoken, mostly speaking in german like this.

japan swallows loudly, happily so seeing as their tongue was just inside of his mouth. he kissed them so feverently, leaning forward to deepen it. enjoying the way they licked every part of his mouth. he feels so good it almost makes him dizzy. his partner will have to make sure to give him breaks in between for him to get some air. in the meantime, they put their hand to his chest, feeling his fast heartbeat.

he's cute, but out of shape—therefore not having a lot of stamina. he sounds like this.

prussia usually talks into their neck, or hair, when he's feeling a certain way. one time, his partner even brought it up to him that they can't hear what he's saying when he does that. he just grinned and shrugged. he told them it doesn't matter if they can't understand him, that they probably just like feeling his warm breath on their skin anyway. he talks them through everything, mostly saying vulgar things and praising how well they are taking him.

he can get cocky...but this is what he might sound like.

romano likes to edge his partner because it brings him satisfaction when someone else is feeling the same sexual frustration he often feels. he praises them when they do something he wants them to do and only after they do it. if they happen to touch him in a way he especially he likes, he'll demand they do it over and over. he believes there's nothing wrong with prioritizing himself sometimes.

...surely his partner can understand. he sounds like this.

[daydreamingoveracupofcoffee]

How would the Hetalia Allies and Axis react if they learned that their 2p's are also in love with the same sweet female country reader as them?

America (Alfred F. Jones) vs 2p!America (Allen F. Jones)

1p!America: “WHAT “DUDE, NO WAY! That guy’s a total psycho! Babe, you can’t seriously— wait, you’re not actually into the bad-boy thing, right? RIGHT?!” 

Instant panic + loud possessive mode. Starts dragging you to every burger joint, movie theater, and amusement park to prove he’s the fun one. Tries to one-up Allen by buying you increasingly ridiculous gifts (a giant teddy bear the size of a car, a private fireworks show, etc.).

2p!America: Smirks, sharpens his bat, and just quietly starts showing up wherever you are. Doesn’t say much, but the threatening aura aimed at Alfred is palpable. Might “accidentally” break into your house to leave roses with a single drop of blood on the petals “for the aesthetic.”

Outcome: Constant loud shouting matches in public. You’ll have to intervene before one of them actually swings.

England (Arthur Kirkland) vs 2p!England (Oliver Kirkland)

1p!England: Goes stiff, face turns red, then pale. “That… that pastel psychopath is in LOVE with you?! Love, he puts arsenic in cupcakes! Stay away from him!” 

Immediately switches to overprotective gentleman mode: walks you home, checks your food for poison, tries (and fails) to ban Oliver from international meetings.

2p!England: “Poppet~ I heard my boring other self is trying to keep you all to himself! How dull~ Why don’t you come have tea with me instead? I baked strawberry scones just for you~” (They’re definitely drugged with something that makes you compliant.)

Outcome: Passive-aggressive tea parties where Arthur and Oliver smile sweetly while trying to murder each other with scones and insults. You’ll have to eat nothing until the cold war ends.

France (Francis Bonnefoy) vs 2p!France (François Bonnefoy)

1p!France: Dramatic gasp, hand over heart. “Mon dieu… that depressing chain-smoking disaster is trying to court you too?! Cherie, he doesn’t even believe in love!” 

Doubles his romantic efforts: 100 roses become 1000, love letters become novels, suddenly every date is in a new European capital.

2p!France: Shrugs, lights another cigarette. “Whatever. If she picks the sparkly idiot, that’s her problem.” Secretly starts leaving you expensive wine, handwritten notes in perfect cursive, and single black roses. He’ll never admit he’s trying.

Outcome: Francis keeps flamboyantly wooing you in public while François broods in the shadows and sarcastically undermines Francis every chance he gets. The sexual tension is off the charts, and you’re stuck in the middle.

Canada (Matthew Williams) vs 2p!Canada (James Williams)

1p!Canada: Quietly devastated. “…Oh. Even my 2p likes you too… I guess I really am invisible, eh…” 

Starts retreating into himself, apologizes for bothering you, and tries to “nobly” step aside.

2p!Canada: Shows up with an axe on his shoulder, wordlessly sits way too close to you, and glares at anyone (especially Matthew) who comes near. If Matthew tries to back off, James just mutters, “Good. Leave.” While possessively wrapping an arm around you.

Outcome: Matthew eventually snaps (quietly, but still a snap) and you get the rare sight of the two Canadas in a passive-aggressive (then fully aggressive) hockey fight over you. James will win physically, but Matthew guilt-trips everyone into feeling bad for him.

China (Wang Yao) vs 2p!China (Anikku/Wang Xiao)

1p!China: Outwardly calm, inwardly screaming. “That opium-addict delinquent likes you too, aru?! Absolutely not!”

Starts cooking you elaborate meals, giving you traditional gifts, and trying to educate you on why the 2p version is a “bad influence.”

2p!China: Lazy grin, half-lidded eyes. “Hey cutie~ Wanna ditch the old man and come smoke with me? I’ll let you wear my tangzhuang~” Offers you questionable substances and constantly drapes himself over you like a clingy cat.

Outcome: Yao keeps trying to drag you away to museums and panda sanctuaries while Xiao keeps trying to drag you to underground clubs. You’ll be exhausted from the cultural whiplash.

Russia (Ivan Braginski) vs 2p!Russia (Viktor Braginski)

1p!Russia: Smile becomes scarily serene. “Oh… so my other self wants you too, da?” 

Immediately becomes ten times more clingy and possessive in the most terrifyingly gentle way. “You will stay with me forever, won’t you, sunflower~?” Starts casually mentioning how many pipes he has.

2p!Russia: Cold, dead stare. Actively hates almost everyone and everything, including his 1p self. Silently begins eliminating any perceived competition (including Ivan) with brutal efficiency. Will straight-up tell you, “Choose him and I’ll break you both.”

Outcome: Pure horror movie vibes. Two terrifying Russians in a psychological (and possibly physical) death match over you. The other nations hold an emergency meeting titled “How do we save her without starting WW3.” Good luck.

North Italy (Feliciano Vargas) vs 2p!Italy (Luciano Vargas)

1p!Italy: Starts crying immediately. “Ve~ Why does the scary me want you too?! I just want to make you pasta and hold your hand, bello!”

Clings to your arm 24/7, whining and trying to out-cute Luciano.

2p!Italy: Knife-twirling, bloodlust smile. “Mine. I’m going to carve my name into anyone who touches her… starting with you, weakling.” Casually stabs the table when Feli gets too close to you. Leaves you bouquets of red roses soaked in (someone else’s) blood.

Outcome: Feliciano tries to win you over with endless affection and home-cooked meals. Luciano tries to win you over by murdering everyone who looks at you. You will be covered in tomato sauce on one side and blood on the other.

Germany (Ludwig Beilschmidt) vs 2p!Germany (Lutz Beilschmidt)

1p!Germany: Turns beet-red, then ice-cold. “That lazy, beer-soaked disaster thinks he can have you? Over my dead body.”

Starts enforcing strict schedules: 6:00 date with Ludwig, 6:30 self-defense training in case Lutz shows up.

2p!Germany: Grins, cracks open another beer, and just leans against the wall staring at you like prey. “Heh. She’s way too cute for that stick-in-the-mud.” Shows up shirtless, covered in scars, and offers to “protect” you in ways Ludwig would never.

Outcome: Ludwig tries to out-discipline Lutz; Lutz tries to out-slacker-bad-boy him. Ends with both of them drunk in your living room arguing over who gets to carry you to bed (they both do, awkwardly).

Japan (Kiku Honda) vs 2p!Japan (Kuro Honda)

1p!Japan: Extremely calm on the outside, internally having a meltdown. Politely but firmly starts occupying 100% of your time with tea ceremonies, garden walks, and quiet confessions.

“I would prefer if you did not speak to… the other me.”

2p!Japan: Cold, sadistic, and zero chill. Shows up in a black uniform, katana drawn, and speaks in a low monotone: “You belong to me now. Resist and I will make this painful.” Secretly writes terrifyingly beautiful horror-themed love letters in perfect calligraphy.

Outcome: Kiku tries to win you with refined grace and emotional restraint. Kuro tries to win you with psychological warfare and implied threats. You will never sleep peacefully again.

South Italy/Romano (Lovino Vargas) vs 2p!Romano (Flavio Vargas)

1p!Romano: Explosive jealousy. “That flamboyant bastard thinks he can steal mia bella?! I’ll kill him!”

Starts yelling, cursing in Italian, then immediately switches to flustered tsundere affection around you.

2p!Romano: Fashion-obsessed, possessive, and dramatic. “Darling~! Only I understand true beauty! Come here so I can dress you properly~” Kidnaps you for three-hour makeover sessions and threatens to stab anyone who ruins your outfit (especially Lovino).

Outcome: Both are screaming Italian divas fighting over who gets to spoil you more. One tries to feed you, the other tries to dress you. You will be stuffed with food and drowning in designer clothes against your will.

Spain (Antonio Fernández Carriedo) vs 2p!Spain (Andrés Fernández Carriedo)

1p!Spain: Sunshine smile freezes. “Churros… even my other self wants mi tomate pequeña?”

Becomes 1000% more clingy and affectionate, constantly hugging you and calling you pet names in public to mark territory.

2p!Spain: Dead-eyed, chain-smoking, and terrifyingly apathetic until it comes to you. “Touch her and you die slowly.” Starts leaving dead roses and broken guitar strings as “gifts.” Will actually murder someone without changing expression.

Outcome: Antonio tries to drown you in warmth and paella. Andrés lurks in the shadows ready to eliminate anything that moves near you. You now have a permanent cheerful bodyguard and a silent assassin stalker.

Prussia (Gilbert Beilschmidt) vs 2p!Prussia (Gilen Beilschmidt)

1p!Prussia: Loud cackling at first (“Ha! Even the emo version wants my girl? Kesesese~ too bad I’m awesome!”), then sudden insecurity when he realizes Gilen is actually serious. Starts showing off even harder — flexing, bragging, dragging you on “epic adventures.”

2p!Prussia: Extremely quiet, trembling intensity. Almost never speaks, but stares at you with desperate, haunted eyes. Leaves you tiny handmade gifts (carved wooden birds, pressed flowers) and follows you at a distance like a lost puppy that might bite.

Outcome: Gilbert tries to out-extrovert and out-awesome Gilen. Gilen just quietly exists in your personal space until you feel bad for him. Eventually Gilbert starts yelling at Gilen for “creeping you out,” and Gilen almost cries. You now have two traumatized Prussian brothers competing via completely opposite methods.

(You’re going to need therapy. And possibly witness protection. Run. Just run.)

[sweetnspiceneverythingnice]

Can I request Hetalia Axis and Allies falling in love with a kind and sweet female reader?

~Hetalia characters with a sweet fem! Reader~

A/N: Hiii my love! Augh, I’ve been WAITING for a hetalia request. I just got out of work so I was all to eager to write this! I love Russia sm 😭

Characters: Italy, Germany, Japan, America, England, France, Russia and China!

Warnings: none :)

Axis:

~

Italy

-He finds you adorable!

-Thinks you’re the female version of him fr

“Ahhh! You’re adorable! Lets make pasta together, yeah?” He smiles as he drags you out of the BORING meeting room.

-You two do end up making pasta together!

-And that turns into something so wholesome and cute :’)

-Loves seeing how kind you are to others!

-Will spoil you! He doesn’t look like it, but he has lots of money I feel he would use on you!

-Is a house husband. Does all the chores. Gets genuinely sad when he sees you trying to do chores.

“Nooo! Bella, that is my job!” He cries as he grabs the dishes from you.

Germany

-Wouldn’t know how to approach you!

-Would be holding back a blush after you make the first move, acting all sweet and caring towards him.

-We all know how easily flustered bro can get-

-Eventually, he asks you out for a beer- though a huge red blush on his face.

-Instantly regrets it after finding out you don’t drink beer. He feels like such a nincompoop.

“Scheiße! Forgive me… I did not know.”

-You calm him down with a smile, and eventually he takes you to a nice German cafe downtown.

-Loves hearing your soft voice, it’s so different from his own.

-Also enjoys to take care of you, but will GLADLY rest his head on your tummy as you run your hand through his blonde locks.

“Ja.. feels gut, mein liebe.”

Japan

-Would admire you quietly.

-He finds the way you carry yourself with such respect incredible.

-No one in the damn meeting room acted such a nice way.

-You were nice to everyone, even England who was such a grumpy old man!

-So, he approaches you and asks you for tea :)

“Would you.. do me the pleasure of having tea at my home?”

-You happily say yes.

-Eventually, you two become a official pair, and he becomes so much more open with you.

-Loves loves LOVES to hug you. A sweet person equals sweet hugs, he believes.

“You are so warm, so sweet. Never change.”

~

Allies

~

America

-He finds you incredibly adorable.

-Doesn’t shy away from telling you that the first day he meets you!

“Like, dudette! You are so nice- wanna hang?”

-He’s a very open guy, so he doesn’t hesitate to ask anyone out.

-Becomes interested when he sees you being nice to Russia, of all countries

-You guys go to McDonald’s!

-Will get a 40 pc chicken nugget meal to share with you!

-Loves your personality, finding it great how you two contrast!

“You’re pretty cool! Wanna like.. be my girl?” He winks at you.

England

-He finds you peculiar.

-Initially finds your kindness fake at first, used to people using kindness to get their way.

-But when you approach him for a business question, he actually sees how genuine you are!

-Brings scones for you after that.

-And you eat them, and when you don’t gag? Oh, he’s all over you now, bb.

“You.. you enjoy my scones? Really??” He has a shocked face as he sweats.

-Takes you to visit famous sights in England :)

-He loves how polite you are!

“You’re truly an angel, love.”

France

-What a cute girl you are!

-Ok. We all know how this man acts.

-So he doesn’t shy away in flirting with you in front of EVERYONE.

“What is a beautiful lady like you doing in a nasty place like this?” He asks as he leans over you.

-Is surprised when you DON’T slap him, and instead laugh and.. thank him?

-Now he wants to get to know you.

-Often leaves roses on your seat, to which you accept with a blush.

-Gets jealous when he sees you being nice to England. Disgusting black sheep, he thinks.

-But he doesn’t push you about it.

-Wants all your attention on him.

“You are my favorite girl, Mon amour. Don’t forget it.”

Russia

-Oh, what a cute little thing you are!

-Is his first thought, as he creepily watches you from his own seat.

-Actually becomes obsessed when you’re nice to him.

-People usually avoid him, my bb :(

-So expect him to approach you, though shyly.

“Ah, sunflower. I would like to be asking for a hug?” He stretches out his arms, hesitantly.

-You happily accept, and he’s in shock!

-Falls in love with you, like genuinely.

-You guys have little at home movie dates, with hot cocoa and fluffy blankets.

-LOVES to cuddle you.

-Does get jealous when you’re nice to literally any other person, only thinking he’s deserving of you attention.

“подсолнечник, I believe I am the only one worthy of your attention, hm?”

China

-Loves you so MUCH.

-He thinks you’re like a real life version of hello kitty, looks and personality.

-Brings you his ‘Chinese tasty treats’ literally every meeting, slapping America’s hand away when he DARES to grab the snacks.

“NO! These are for her only, fatass!”

-Likes to take walks with you on your breaks, enjoying your voice.

-He WILL brush your hair, finding it soft and sweet, like you.

-If he sees any other nation (France) flirting with you, he WILL hit said nation (France) with his frying pan that he brings everywhere for some reason.

-When you reprimand him for this, he whines.

“Aya! But he was making filthy moves on you! I couldn’t allow that!”

-You two hold hands under the meeting table JKEJFKWJDKD I love

-my otp

“亲爱的, I love you so much. My sweet girl!”

[reincarnated-star]

can i have the axis trio (italy, germany, japan) dating headcanons?

⋮ ⌗ ┆ 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑶𝒇 𝑴𝒚 𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆

ᯓ★ Ordered by @sparkleonsayori. ᯓ★Type: Headcanons [Fluff] ᯓ★Characters: [Italy - Germany - Japan, Hetalia] ᯓ★Note: Yippie!! I got a request from mootie!! Im so happy...!! I got a little suprise in japan's section in which i added a little hc of mine can be seen here (´∀`)... Ehe! I was the anon when making thsi btw... Ehe... Just Japan having DID... I dont like how this turned....plus i took longer bc... Things... Sigh. ᯓ★Warnings: ....

⋆.𐙚 ɪᴛᴀʟʏ : ꜰᴇʟɪᴄɪᴀɴᴏ ᴠᴀʀɢᴀꜱ ̊

☆ Italy is an open book, he doesnt hide his emotion to you. He'll be the most chalant guy you'll ever meet. [We love a man like that].

☆ Im sorry [not really], but if you think this guy is an innocent bean then no. He has one of the most shameless thoughts of you, he is NOT scared to tell you tho-

☆ Personal space? What's that? This is a term that is unexistant in his disctionary! He usually on you at all times in some way, holding hands, hugs from behind, leaning on you when he feels tired, playing with your hand when you two are in a converstation. He is glued to your side!!

☆ Btw at the ends of every dates, he walks you until the door and give you hugs and kisses for a min of two then let go. He is trying to use every second you two have to shower you with his affection before separation. [He sometimes end up staying over...]

☆ He sometimes doodles in the back your hand, well mainly hearts and flowers, when he is bored and has a pen near him-. You can ask him to stop and he will but you have to admit the drawings looks beautifull.

☆ Likes having you in his kitchen, just sit on a chair and look pretty for him! He'll become a chatterbox, splitting his focus to you and the food. Remind him to focus bc he might cause a mess-

☆ Hands feeds you when asks you to try a dish he made.

☆ Every person he is acquainted with knows you and knows that you are his, he NEVER shut up about you. Bless everyone's ear, especially his friends's....

☆ He seems the type to give you a promise ring early in you two's relationship. A ring that symbolise deep commitment but doesnt reach a proposal degree. His hands are shaking from excitment as you accept it. Maybe he did cry a bit at the end but he is just so in love.... can you blame the man?

⋆.𐙚 ɢᴇʀᴍᴀɴʏ : ʟᴜᴅᴡɪɢ ʙᴇɪʟꜱᴄʜᴍɪᴅᴛ ̊

☆ At first, some poeple would be rather suprised he is in fact dating someone. That comes from the reason they find him too strict or rigid, whcih can be a turn off... BUT underneath all of that is the biggest sweetheart! So when you win his heart, congrats on gaining the softest and most loyal guy ever!!

☆ He doesn't seem like the type to announce that he's dating someone. If someone asks, he simply says "Yes" and moves on. No big speech about it.

☆ Btw~ early dating is awkward — not in a bad way, but in the way that two people are still figuring each other out. He might over-explain his schedule because he thinks you'll find his routine boring. He's relieved when you just nod and say, "Cool, I'll see you after work."

☆ He doesn't know how to initiate the first kiss. He'll stand there stiffly after a good date, clearly wanting to, but his brain is running through one hundred thoughts per sec! You'll probably have to lean in first. After that, though, he's much more confident.

☆ Most of his gift are rather thoughtfull and practical ones, it shows he pays close attention to your needs and expresses love through Gifting things that would help you in your everyday life!!

☆ Which brings us now, to his dogs. I think he have three. Getting along with them and them accepting you is the unspeakble test that is waited to be completed. In which im sure ull be passing with flying colours!!

⋆.𐙚 ᴊᴀᴘᴀɴ : ᴋɪᴋᴜ ʜᴏɴᴅᴀ ̊

☆ He is not the type to be vocal with his love, so you wont hear the words "I love you" often while being with him but he does show it in many other ways to make!

☆ His main love language is obvi acts of service but also quality time, btw everything he gives he puts a lot of thoughts into it!

☆ He have a staring problem and it mostly at you, well it isnt in a creepy way tho. When you caught him doing so he would shift his gaze imediatly with red ears.

☆ He does take a lot of pictures of your moments together, he keeps them an album for his eyes only. He is trying to immortalize the happy moment you share in a way.

☆ This guy's memory sure is wonders... Japan can remember everything you tell or mention to him. He might suprise you with things that are of your intrest on random day. He never forgets.

☆ Sorry but this guy can't handle PDA very well... He turns into a literally tomato if you initiate. [This guy literally pushed italy off due to a hug early in the anime, if i remember corretly- so yk...].

☆ Well, you two do link your pinkies together when you are walking in a middle of a crowd [or just walking outside in general], it feels intimate in a way and you two will not get separated or lost!

☆ We can ALL agree that this guy would make a good malewife, he can do everything regarding the house, so if you have trouble taking care of chores he will totally help or teach you!!

☆ Yet the longer you live with him the more you will notice a rather... Unusual thing? But something is totally off with him! It is as if something just turn on and off in his self.

☆ It like his whole body is on guard for nothing, hell his staring problem becomes 10 times worse as this time it feel like he is staring at you waiting for you to leave-

☆ You kissed his cheek once and he didnt give much of a reaction, hell he looked at you with disintrests before continuing on whatever he is doing. That reaction did upset you leading you to give him the same treatment.

☆ But those only last a short time before he acts normal, coming back to his original self and he might start apologizing. An apology wrapped in confusing in something he doesnt understand or remember.

ᯓ★Additional Note: My first ever time writting for hetalia or anything hetalia related, so I am indeed slight nervous.... Let just hope I did everyone here justice....

[bridetalia]

hetalia nations react to your son doing the "shut up, bitch" prank to you (ﾒ ﾛ ´)

a/n: i havent posted in a minute im so sorry😭😭 also everyone stream america no joo by cymbals right now

characters: japan, italy, romano, germany, prussia, russia, china, france, canada, england, america, scotland, sweden

cw: nonezies!!

kiku honda 🇯🇵 japan

he gasps, "that's rude."

respect for your elders is a huge thing in his culture and he can't believe the child he helped raise would say that. he takes it SO seriously and it ready to ground your son for life until you explain that it's a prank.

feliciano vargas 🇮🇹 north italy

"whaat?? did you just say??"

he's upset for you of course, but ultimately he would've left it in your hands because he can't stand to make his baby sad.

lovino vargas 🇮🇹 romano/south italy

if looks could kill your son would be long gone, and tells them to apologize right now. is also ready to ground them forever until he sees you laugh and lets up.

ludwig beilschmidt 🇩🇪 germany

"WAS???,!!"

almost loses his shit honestly. he bolts up from the couch genuinely ready to hit your son if he needs to. he shakes his head when you laugh and tell him it's a joke.

gilbert beilschmidt 🇩🇪 prussia

whips his head around and yells your son's full name. he's all about family and discipline and stuff so he's really ripping them a new one (verbally). he won't stop to let you get a word in so you'll just have to laugh at your poor son.

ivan braginski 🇷🇺 russia

he's shocked that your son had the audacity to even try that, and he just stares at them. your kid was intimidated and was gonna say sorry anyway even though they knew it was a joke until you explain the prank to ivan.

yao wang 🇨🇳 china

icl he might actually hit your kid on the head for speaking to you like that, and it takes a couple seconds of everyone yelling at him that it was a joke to get him to calm down. he doesn't play about disrespect.

francis bonnefoy 🇫🇷 france

gasps and grabs them by the ear, making them apologize to you, all while ranting about how disrespectful that it. it isn't until both you and your son are laughing that he realizes something it up.

matthew williams 🇨🇦 canada

"oh goodness, don't talk to your parents like that!"

obviously he's not very assertive, but it gets the point across (he's so sweet💔). like italy, he would've left it in your hands because he wasn't sure if your son was listening to him anyway.

arthur kirkland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 england

"bloody hell! what did you just say!!??"

he goes on a long rant about horrible that was and how he never wants to hear anything like that come from them again, and pauses when he looks over at you to sees you trying not to laugh.

alfred f. jones 🇺🇸 america

maybe one of the only times you see him genuinely angry at your kid, but he lowk blames himself for raising them so spoiled.

“dude!! don’t talk to your mom/dad like that….”

he’s trying his best to defend your honor and laughs when you tell him it was a joke.

allistor kirkland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 scotland

"AY, if ya widnae talk to me like that, ya dinnae talk to ya mother/father like that!"

PISSED about this. you have to grab him before he launches up from the couch and explain that it's just a joke. your son is lucky that allistor didn't reach him.

berwald oxenstierna 🇸🇪 sweden

he just stares at his son because nothing is funny to him about that and tells them to go to their room. your kid actually does it, thats how scary he can be.

a/n: so how many of. yall watch slushy noobz… also yes i know i laid it on thick with allistors accent but i love writing scottish accents out ok?ok

@onichichi

[mothdino]

hide and seek with hetalia

tw:fluff, short, rushed

Would appear next to you in your hiding spot and say something like, This is a nice spot! and would look over at him. And if you scream, he might start screaming with you.

america, russia, italy, japan, china

You wouldn’t see him coming. You could be hiding under a bed, and he would be at the foot of the bed, where he knew you couldn’t see him. And he would drag you out.

germany, russia, prussia, maybe japan

Would give up, not knowing he was so close to your hiding spot. Like you could be hiding behind boxes, and he would plop down against the boxes and forfeit.

England, italy, france, canada

If you are playing hide and seek with a group, he would follow you and hide with you, saying it’s scary hiding alone. You two are attached at the hip for the whole game.

canada, italy(especially if the seeker is germany)china(the same but if the seeker was russia)

He would rat you out, getting both of you caught, and would say it’s unfair. But he would be hiding in the most obvious place.

romano, prussia,

Would be the seeker and hide, but he didn’t know he was the seeker :( So now you’re both hiding for hours until one of you gives up.

japan, russia, italy

[worldheadcanons]

☆ stalkertalia: there’s more!

requested by anon! gender neutral reader. starring . . . italy, china, prussia & germany. warning for stalking behaviors & nsfw (masurbation) hinted in china’s and discussed in germany’s parts. fandom masterlist found here. 📌 . . . author notes: this was fun to write! excited for the german brothers ^_^. i felt so mischievous while writing bc i hinted at quite a bit of things throughout these hcs (mostly just character relations but i’m ngl my personal hcs deff made their way in here). try to figure them all out if you dare!

feliciano vargas!

— feliciano calls and texts you regularly. his calls are usually just check-ins, making sure you’re doing well emotionally and physically. they’re typically short as well. his texts, however, are casual and flirtatious, as if you’re already well acquainted. not only that, but he texts you on and off for hours at a time. vargas doesn’t find it odd at all for him to text you in the afternoon and pick up your conversation from the morning as if no time passed. he fully expects you to go along with it, too.

— he’s vaguely sugar daddy-ish, also. he often buys you gifts so that you keep him unblocked. a new laptop? sure. brand new outfits from luxury brands? they’re delivered and left on your porch the very next day. anything and everything is on the table, it seems, which really makes you wonder why someone with so much money to waste has decided to bother little ol’ you. he’s not trying to buy your love, though, promise. feliciano just knows that the money and gifts help soften you up to him. you’re always more open to him after receiving a present or two.

— he knows an odd amount about your job and work schedule, as if he’s watched you at work. come to think of it, he probably has. he probably still does. vargas seems to know when you clock in, what you do for work, when you clock out, and even when you happen to go shopping for ingredients using your bosses’ card. how exactly he found out that you worked as a personal chef, you weren’t entirely sure.

— sometimes (really, a lot of the time) feliciano likes to play cute. maybe a better word would be coy, actually. he likes to pretend he’s not doing anything wrong, and even has the gall to text you every now and then something along the lines of ‘i don’t get why you’re so cold with me :(‘. he knows why you’re being so distant, of course. it’s no secret that his ways of contacting you are.. orthodox. but he also knows you’ll warm up to him soon enough. you’re soulmates. you will warm up to him.

— generally, he likes to use a fair amount of emoticons and emojis throughout his texts. not in a grandma way, but he’ll end his messages with red hearts or smiley faces, or even send a cute japanese emoticon your way. you asked him once how he knew about the emoticons japanese keyboard. his answer? he found it out from a friend, and though it was cute. he’s an… interesting.. guy. a guy who sends threats about the men you talk to in one text and cutesy emoticons in another.

— every now and then you play along with him, and in these moments, he feels himself falling more in love with you. you hold normal conversation, casual to the point of it being intimate (at least, in his mind it is). vargas views these rare events as you being your honest self. surely, your true self wants him just as much as he wanted you; you’re only hiding yourself because you’re scared of the intensity of your love. he’s deluding himself to a degree, but who doesn’t nowadays? he gets upset when you burst his bubble, anyhow.

yao wang!

— he doesn’t text and rarely calls. he usually writes letters; untraceable ones, of course, without a return address. he mails them himself, usually, though sometimes he has his employees deliver them. he’s old fashioned, what can he say. wang often writes about his love for you, how tempting you are.. never have you ever read such.. descriptive pieces of writing… it’s a little uncomfortable reading his more lustful letters. you try to ignore the stains at the edges of them…

— he likes sending you clothes to wear. sometimes yao sends designer brands, but mostly he sends everyday where. he tries not to send separate pieces, preferring to deliver whole outfits to your house (unlike his letters, the outfits are sent through standard delivery). what can he say? he loves seeing you in clothing he picked out. it’s a little bit about control, sure, matching you to his own artistic vision. but it’s also about providing for you. if you’d just let him into your heart, well, you’d never have to lift a finger again.

— god, you’re far too young for him. you’re closer to his son in age, really. sometimes he wishes that you’d marry his son, if only to ensure that you stay in his life. he’d see you during every family reunion and then some, as he would pop in every other day just to see you. wang might even move in with his son, claiming to need care, just to see your face. but even then, it’s not enough for you to be in his life. no, you should be his. maybe it was problematic, the age gap between you two. but you only live once, and his life is already partially gone!

— one day, three autumns. the chinese idiom rings true whenever you’re not around; one day without you feels like three full autumns. he often ends up asking around to see where you are. his questions are posed cleverly, disguised as common concern. yao’s no fool. he won’t let the world know of his affections towards you. not yet.

— outside of stalking, he tries his damnedest to get you to come work for his company. it would be much easier to keep tabs on you if you were one of his worker bees. wang’s even sweetened the deal a couple times, promising a high position right off the gate. unfortunately for him, you seem content working your current job. he’d buy the company you work under off your ceo but that seems a bit too obvious.

— has he been in your house? not without an invitation. he’s not a creep, after all. what he will do is send paid recon troopers to your property to record you in your private moments. they’re ordered not to view the footage. they’re to send all videos and photos directly to him and then delete them once they’ve been received. if you ever feel a pair of eyes watching you before bed, good news! it’s not yao — just the surveillance trooper that’s sending footage back to him.

gilbert beilschmidt!

— gilbert’s only ever into two types of people: anyone who can pull off the whole “sweaty warrior with muscles glistening in the sun” look and proper people that he can tease and fluster. his ex was the latter, but you.. you’re definitely the former. a welcome change of pace for him since his last break up was really messy.

— he met you at the gym. he was doing cardio on the treadmill while you were working arms nearby, your headphones neatly on your head. you weren’t dressed up much, just a baggy t-shirt and some gym pants, but god, your arms.. it was like seeing a walking greek sculpture. a dedication to the beauty of the human form.. something like that, bielschmidt figured. he’s not known for deep thoughts but you drag it out of him.

— when he met his cardio goal he turned off the treadmill, slinking off and making his way to you. he complimented your form, smiling, before asking you about your routine. the two of you hit it off and from there became gym buddies — on gilbert’s end, you were a bit more than that. he’d decided that you would be more than a simple rebound. he was determined to have you as his next partner.

— in his mind, you’re heaven sent after his bitch of an ex. that guy was the worst. okay, maybe he’s bitter about the whole break up, but that doesn’t really matter now that he has you! you, who he works out with thrice a week. you, whose home he found online two days after initial contact (it started as a search for your instagram and ended up with him finding your home and your mom’s facebook). you, who could definitely beat his ass… which makes him that much more attracted to you.

— beilschmidt knows that resorting to stalking is pathetic. but, hear him out: it’s only temporary. he’s doing his best to make moves on you in the gym but you don’t seem to pick up on them. he’s starting to wonder if you’re like his brother, someone who just doesn’t get social cues, or if you’re just trying to kindly reject him.. gilbert figures he won’t know until he tries some more. watching you from outside your windows is not a permanent gig. it’s just until he can get you to go out with him. that’s what he says to rationalize it, anyways.

— he’s a nail biter, and you best believe he was biting his nails down the first time he sees you outside of your gym rat clothes. from the window, he watches, entranced. lounge wear. you’re sitting on your coach in all your glory, watching some show in the cutest lounge wear he’s ever laid eyes on. god, the things you do to him. you oblivious god, you.

ludwig beilschmidt

— ludwig fell for you all too quickly. you were friends before, having gone to college together. now, you work in the same office. love strikes on a random wednsday during a casual lunch with coworkers. you laughed a little loud and half elbowed him in the process (you tend to hit when you laugh, he’s noticed) (he’s not not fond of the trait, though). it was then that he realized how warm you make him feel. you’re like a light, brightening the room even when you’re quiet. your mere presence is enough. wow. how amazing are you?

— i want to bathe in that light. it dawns on him that he wants to be with you, as more than friends. it’s not too hard to be close to you already; you seem to naturally gravitate towards sitting with him during casual work events and friendly hang outs. plus, the two of you already carpool together (it’s economical, is all). still, selfishly, he wants more. beilschmidt wants to date you.

— the german does try to be smooth as your anonymous stalker, often sending you packages full of things he thinks you’ll like. he’s indecisive, however, when it comes to you. is it wrong to want a great gift for a great person? the result of his indecision is him mailing you several versions of the same item with slight differences. accompanying these boxes on your porch is a stiff text to your phone that says ‘keep what you want, leibling, i just wanted to make sure i got it right. please leave feedback’.

— he sometimes wishes he had the confidence to confess to you in person. he’s worried about throwing away your friendship, though. strong friendships like the one you have are hard to make. they take years of effort and to toss it all away over a crush is… ridiculous, in ludwig’s eyes. no, he’s best handling things this way. even though he yearns to show his face and do more for you, he can’t. not yet. oh, how he dreams of fixing your squeaky door hinges and checking your engine. he’d clean your house for you, cook for you… what? it’s romantic to him, at least.

— he often takes your words literally. when you text beilschmidt any sort of feedback, he internalizes it. fortunately for him, you’re quite kind. you’ve yet to tell him to leave you alone or anything of that sort. it only furthers his love for you, the patience that you’re showing. he knows he’s not the most smooth (god knows — his brother won’t let him hear the end of it!) but he’s trying his best, promise.

— unbeknownst to you, he’s very… active. sexually. he hides it from you as much as he can; he isn’t like alfred, someone who’s shameless and will jerk off in your bushes. no, he’s much more reserved, jerking off with a stolen shirt of yours (he couldn’t push himself to steal panties after you invited him in as a friend). he does it in the corner of his room with the door locked, almost defensively. he feels lots of guilt when it comes to sex and sexual desire, which is partly why he’s still a virgin. after masturbating, he usually sits in silence for a couple minutes thinking over his life. this brief reflection doesn’t stop him from repeating the cycle later, though.

[milaispissed]

How would the Countryhumans Britain, France, Germany, and Russia react if fem! y/n learned their language just for them?

🦋🦋: OOHH!! YES YES! A fair warning, I used Google translate for French and Russian since I can already speak German and English :)

CH Britain 🇬🇧 :

It was a very peaceful day in London, or as peaceful as it could be in the capital city. Britain was hosting his usual yearly meeting with Y/n and her leaders. Now, usually, he was not all too keen organizing trips and meetings with other countries, as he viewed them as a waste of time more times than now. But, with Y/n, it was quite different. Britain actually found himself enjoying her company, even if there was a glaring issue. Yn didn't speak English at all. But that was something he could ignore. After all, the woman was always so cheerful, happy, beautiful, and kind. And somehow, he could always tell what she wanted even without a translator nearby, and the same went for Y/n when it came to Britain. But, she was tired of having to vaguely point at stuff for Britain to understand her, and a translator was not a viable option for her either. The reason? Y/n had over time fallen in love with the British man, and she wanted to confess really bad to him. A translator, as good as they were, would just not do. She wanted to be the one to say it in a way that Britain would understand her. She wanted to tell him how she felt without a third person being involved in that moment. So, what did Y/n do to fix that problem? She studied English in the time both of them were separated. And today, it was finally the day she had been looking forward to!

'Just do it... Don't chicken out! Just say those three word- But what if he doesn't like me back?' Y/n thought to herself as she walked down the street with Britain. The man was pointing at some random buildings and speaking in a way that would be universally understood, unaware that she could speak English now. Y/n quietly gulped, smiling at Britain as her heart rate kept increasing.

'That accent gets me every time!' She thought, trying to think of the perfect moment to talk to him. Britain was meanwhile having his own issues with his feelings. Being this close to the woman was definitely causing a lot of sweat to form on his palms, and he had to catch himself a few times from saying stuff like 'you look beautiful as ever' and similar things.

'It's not like she would understand me, anyway.' Britain thought with an unintentionally loud sigh, causing Y/n to snap out of her state.

'Do it! Do it!'

"Anyway... How...about we go and drink some tea?" Britain finally spoke up, signaling with his hands the action of drinking the same beverage, expecting a quick nod in return. But, the reality of what he actually got definitely hit him like a ton of bricks.

"I... I love you." Y/n blurted out with a flustered look.

"Oh well, I love you as we-" Before the Brit could finish his sentence, he stopped and stared at the flustered woman with wide eyes. He felt his cheeks heat up and for once, he was completely speechless. Her words and the cute accent were just too much for the man.

"Y-you- Eck!!"

"Mr. Britain!!" Y/n exclaimed as Britain unintentionally walked into a light pole, causing him to fall flat on the ground.

"Are you alright?!" She quickly crouched down to check on any injuries, not paying attention to the people who had stopped to look at them. Britain didn't care about them much either. I mean, the woman he pretty much loved said she felt the same, and she had the most cutest accent when she spoke to him.

'She is so cute! Her looks! Her voice! And she loves me! She really loves me! We need to celebrate this!!' Britain thought with a boyish grin appearing on his face.

"Britain... Can you hear me? Hello?" Y/n continued to call out as the man got more and more lost in his thoughts.

'This wasn't how it was supposed to go!! At least I know he loves me as well...'

CH France 🇫🇷:

If someone had told Yn that she would be one day sitting with a country as powerful as France, she would have laughed in their faces. If they had told her that she would grow close enough to be one of his closest allies, she would have definitely died of laughter. But, all of that did end up happening, and she herself was unsure how that even happened. One day, Yn was invited for a first official meeting with France after gaining independence from her former boss, and now, she was sitting and talking with the man so casually and normally in a small cafe in Paris.

'He looks so good today!! Oh... Calm down, Yn.' The woman thought as she nervously fidgeted with her fingers that were on her lap. The reason as to why she was nervous? Well, first of all, France was a man she had been harboring feelings for, and the second reason was the fact that today she planned to show off some of her French language skills.

France, who was meanwhile oblivious to her inner turmoil, continued speaking in English and explaining how his week went. As much as he disliked using Britain's language this much, for Yn, he didn't mind it. After all, he would do anything to hear her laugh at his jokes and talk to him.

'Oh... whenever I use English, I feel like all the work my ancestors did was for nothing! But... I guess she is worth it.' France thought, a small smile appearing on his face when he heard Yn laugh at something he had said.

"Right! I knew that you would find it just as funny as I did, mon cher."

"I definitely did." Yn giggled while nodding her head, causing the man's heart rate to increase. She was definitely doing things to his mind and heart, and he didn't mind it one bit.

'Love is so beautiful and painful!!' The man thought dramatically as one of the waiters approached and stopped at their table to take the orders.

"Bonjour. Que désirez-vous commander aujourd'hui?" The French man asked as France cleared his throat to order for the both of them. But before he could even open his mouth, Yn had beaten him to it.

"Un chocolat chaud et un verre de vin, s'il vous plaît." The words came out of her mouth more naturally than she expected them to. It didn't takebher too long to think of them either, since both her and France always ordered the same, or similar things.

The waiter, who was unfazed by it, quickly wrote the order down and told them that it would be served soon before leaving the table.

"Merci beaucoup." Yn said to the man before looking back at the stunned and wide-eyed France.

"Mr. France, are you alright?" She nervously asked, worrying that she had said something wrong but got no answer in return.

'She... she spoke French?! Yn, mon joyau, mon monde... Spoke my language!! Not that stupid Brit's language!!!' A huge grin appeared on France's face and he quickly grabbed both of Yn's hands into his.

'Eh!! Ah! He is holding my hands!!' Flustered, Yn looked at the French nation with a nervous yet happy expression. This meant that she did alright for her first try.

"Mon monde! You never told me you spoke French! C'est incroyable! Tu es tellement adorable ! Mon cœur va exploser." As the man continued to praise her, she felt her face grow warmer and warmer each passing second, and she just knew that she had to stop France from talking.

'My heart can't take it!'

"I... I just started learning it. It's nothing special..."

"Nothing special? No, this is amazing! Mon amour, I will teach you all the ins and outs of this magnificent language. Now that I have heard you speak it, I am afraid that I won't be able to go a moment without hearing more of it." France, the ever so confident man chuckled and kissed Yn's knuckles, leaving the woman speechless and flustered.

'Damn that French!'

CH Germany 🇩🇪:

It was that time of the year some countries dreaded, and some didn't mind. The yearly UN summit. Every country around the world had come to New York to sit for hours and hours through passive-aggressive speeches and arguments. Yn was one of the nations who didn't mind these meetings. And why would that be? She had the opportunity to listen to Germany speak in his language, which she found absolutely hot. Which was one of the reasons why she had taken up learning German over the years. She wanted to listen to Germany talk. Actually talk without a translator buzzing in her ear every second.

And while the first month of her learning German was filled with tears, life regrets, and self deprivation, she was finally at the point where she didn't need the translator. Shortly after the man had left his seat to hold his speech in front of everyone, Yn had turned off her headphones and taken them off to listen to Germany. And man, was it worth it!! She was instantly mesmerized by the words that started to leave Germany's mouth.

'Ah! I could listen to him speak all day, every day! His mannerisms, his voice, the way he pronounces everything! I could listen to it over and over again and not grow tired!' Smiling dreamily, Yn rested her head on the palm of her hand and continued staring intently at Germany.

The said male country had felt the stares from the direction of Yn's seat, and while speaking, he sent a few shy glances her way.

'She is staring at me... But... She had taken off her headset? Am I boring? Does she hate listening to me speak my language?' The usually confident European gelt his heart sink at the thought of the woman he had grown to love over the short time of knowing her. He was used to people making fun of German, but something about her disliking it definitely made him want to do reforms here and now!

But, as soon as those thoughts entered his head, they left when he took notice of Yn mouthing something to him. And that something was definitely not in English, but in German.

'Du machst das toll.' He read off of her lips, and in that moment, his mind was set. He would marry her! He just needed to finish this speech as soon as possible.

HC Russia 🇷🇺:

"That stupid America!"

Yn, who was busy making tea for herself and her Russian friend, quickly dropped whatever she was doing and ran out of the kitchen toward the living room.

"Mr. Russia, are you alright?! You rarely ever yell!"

The said man tensed up and looked at the entrance to the living room where Yn was, obviously embarrassed by his own sudden outburst

"D-da... I just... Ah... I am just pissed off." Russia sighed in defeat and sat back down on Yn's couch as the woman approached him with the same concerned expression.

"And what made you so mad? You usually keep your temper as... as well as you can." The woman said, knowing that if she said anything else, it would be a lie. Russia chuckled in amusement at her words before shaking his head and showing her his phone. While Yn was in the kitchen, Russia had decided to look through some news reports about recent events. It was, for the most part, mundane stuff, but what made his blood boil was an article about America's recent return to popularity and the new allies he had made. It stung a lot to see it. Not only did the most capitalist country outlast his own father, the USSR, but now he was overtaking him in popularity. Russia just felt useless and unwanted.

"Oh... Yeah, I read that! America is strengthening some relationships with the Latin American countries. That annoyed you?" The woman wondered, watching the Russian sigh and shake his head.

"No... It's not that, precisely. What annoys me is this feeling I get whenever I read articles like these."

"Feeling?" Yn asked, her heart breaking at the sight of the defeated Russian. There was a silence between them for a brief moment before Russia decided to speak up again.

"Yes. It's like no matter what I do, America will always be there popular and wanted country. Everyone loves him more than me."

Russia, uncharacteristically enough, started to pout, obviously insecure and unhappy with the current state of his relationships with the other countries.

'But... At least I have Yn. She won't betray me, right-'

The Russian stopped his own train of thoughts when he felt someone's lips on his cheeks. Yn's lips.

'She... She is kissing me?!' Time stopped for a brief second as the man's eyes widened to the size of plates, and his cheeks glowed a soft pink shade when she moved away to smile at the nation.

"Well, I can't speak for others, but... ya lyublyu tebya bol'she vsekh na svete." Giggling, Yn moved away from the couch and went back to the kitchen to finish the tea. Russia was just left stunned, speechless, and... happy. He was happy. For once, someone said that they preferred him over America. And the person who told him that was nobody other than Yn herself.

"Oh well, I am happy to hear- WAIT?! YOU SPOKE RUSSIAN?!" Russia yelled in realization as he quickly stood up from the couch when Yn let out a small laugh from down the hallway.

"Maybe~"

"Wait!! Wait! Moya lyubov'!! I need to hear that again!" Russia grinned as he followed after her in excitement.