#getting it wrong

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

'tram in new york' by j.h. lartigue, c. 1900 in 1000 dessous: a history of lingerie - gilles néret (1998)

* * * *

“Anxiety, the next gumption trap, is sort of the opposite of ego. You're so sure you'll do everything wrong you're afraid to do anything at all. Often this, rather than "laziness" is the real reason you find it hard to get started” ― Robert Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values

[polyamorousmisanthrope]

I had forgotten to delete my Headspace app from my phone. I just got a notification to "Do a quick mental pushup to flex your mindfulness muscle."

I very mindfully, thoughtfully, and with deliberate intent deleted the app. That isn't the place from which I come or the place I want to go with meditation. See? I'm learning!

I can set a timer for however long I want to meditate (usually ten minutes), close my eyes, and focus on my breathing. It's not that I am sorry for learning how to meditate on the app. I really did learn. But the direction the marketers are going with it ain't me, ain't what I want out of it, and I think are kinda contrary to the point.

Heh, then again, I do yoga to be physically flexible and fluidly mobile, which kinda wasn't the original point. So... inconsistent there.

So, here's where I laugh. What if taking a Daily Walk, something that is certainly a part of my culture, but not some Big Thing for Personal Development, was seen by another culture as Some Big Exotic Thing To Do for Personal Development?

Like aliens who saw humans doing it and figured that's where our Space Orc qualities came from? Would there be Teachers and Traditions around that damn half-hour walk? Arguments about Original Intent? Podcasts about How Humans Take a Walk? Special gear marketed for it? Arguments about how 10,000 steps was some sort of Spiritual Advancement?*

(Yeah, I know, that stuff already exists, but imagine it was from a Not-Human culture, if you get me, and how the Aliens might get it wrong in embarrassing and kinda cringy ways).

*10,000 steps was a Japanese marketing scheme to sell pedometers in the 1960s, and again in the US and Europe the 2000s. Sure, sure, if you want to use it as a way to keep yourself mobile and it works for you (it does me) then that's fine, but there's nothing magic about it.

[eatenbyfaeries]

FINALLY. FINALLY. MESSY GAY MAN ROMANCE ON THE BIG ANIMATION. LET'S ROCK. Hell YEAH.

[notthatkindofgrass]

I am trying to transform my turf lawn into what I hope will be more of a “tapestry” look. I am doing it “from scratch” starting with my own ideas, knowledge base (plant science degree and agronomist work) and learning along the way.

I didn’t want to spend the money that would be needed to do a single summer transformation. And I’m hoping that if I find a good method for a less expensive and subtle transformation that I can share that with others and help with general de-lawn-ification.

It’s not going well!

But, and this is very important, that always means I am learning a ton and I love that.

It also means my lawn is a mess and since my neighbors all know that I professionally help people grow plants, it is also very embarrassing.

The honesty astounding number of pollinators I am already attracting is a balm to my soul.

Pictures from the lawn transformation experiment: I wanted to take lovely pictures of bees, that also did not go well!

I keep meaning to check and see if “wild pansy” is a thing or if these are just the result of escaped pansies being mowed. I want more of these if that’s a thing.

I am loving the prairie smoke plants (top left-ish). I have ordered seed to try and plant more. I have read that the natives and wildflowers can be tricky to germinate. I love a plant challenge. Growing native plants and heirloom varieties really drive home how much we have changed in out plants even in the last 100 years.

Bee!

Most my success is plain ol’ white clover. There are worse things to have dominating a planting space, but I really want more diversity.

The little pink flowers (so tiny and mostly in the bottom 1/3 of the picture), I was about to pull them up but I saw so many little pollinators going to town on them that I decided to leave them to battle the clover (curious to see who wins) and I may incorporate it into more spots since it’s doing so well, has love for the little guys, and responds to mowing.

I’d prefer not to mow at all, but a few things that I’ve transplanted or encouraged look less unkempt when mowed. I do live in a neighborhood so I do have to keep my neighbors in mind. I am leaning toward keeping a minimally mowed area now.

[mwagneto]

you can speak freely. we are all besties here

[thesongoftheday]

‘Getting It Wrong’ by Sparklehorse, from ‘Dreamt for Light Years in the Belly of a Mountain’

[s-n-arly]

Diversicon 2019 - Writing the Other

Writing the other involves creating characters who differ from us (ethnicity, gender, sexual preference, age, personal philosophy, etc). When writers don’t take the time to research and think this through, it can come off artificial and supports stereotypes rather than contributing to the work’s diversity.

In written works, skin color is overvalued as a difference, and tends to be described in great detail when the character isn’t white (socially emphasized as the norm or primary color in the US).

Comparing the skin of people of color with food (she had a cafe au lait complexion, her dark chocolate hand, etc) can be a way of othering the characters, making them less human than the characters who don’t get compared to food.  Are they people or something to consume? This method of description is almost never used with white characters.   She stood in the sun, her cheeks like silken tofu, as she waited for her Uber. Her hand, the rich color of peeled garlic held him back. Mayonnaise boy quickly joined the group. 

While it’s true some writers will describe white characters as having creamy or milky skin, it’s not the norm to even note white character’s colors, as they are seen as the default. The connotations are also very different when a person in a position of social power or privilege granted  by skin color does this to someone who is often othered.

⁂

Writing the Other is both a book and a class for writers developed by Nisi Shawl and Cynthia Ward.

Including diversity in sensitive ways can contribute to the richness of a work, and should be encouraged.  However writers need to plan to avoid the pitfalls and things that can go very wrong.

[sunsets-and-carcrashes]

Maybe It’s not actually about getting it right. What if, all this time, it’s just been about getting it wrong with the right person.