#gettingbackup

[luckyanniedote]

Myself again

This week is my birthday. I've been feeling really good about what I'm doing with my life and I'm hoping this year it continues. It's been really good for my mental health and has helped me get to take more steps in getting back to better self care since my period of grief after losing my birth family 5years ago to addiction CPS and prison. I was so broken and I'm proud of myself for carrying on. I finally spent money on things most people would not live without . I bought under garments instead of just making due with the two I had . I finally brought myself a dresser for clothes so I can live a more normally organized life . Ive been doing much better at brushing my teeth, showering regularly, even making time to put lotion on . It feels really good to be a normal girl again . I really hope it persists and that I won't go through something like this again.

[madamemerola]

✨FALLING AND RISING. 💎Everyone falls. There will be times you think that falling is the end for you when it comes to your goals or dreams. 💜No matter how hard or how deeply you have fallen, YOU CAN GET BACK UP AGAIN. ➡️I fell hard last week and it has been extremely difficult getting back up. I have had to dig really deep to do all I can to get going again with the right frame of mind, positive attitude and energy. 📌Having a positive mindset of high PQ (Positive Intelligence) doesn’t exempt you from struggles or having negative thoughts. You just know how to deal with them when they do arise. 💡As a Christian, I rely heavily on the Holy Spirit to help me live a victorious life. The following scriptures were my daily reminders to give me strength when I was too weak to get back up: ➡️Micah 7:8 ESV “Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.” ➡️Proverbs 24:16 ESV “For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.” 💜I am back up now and will keep fighting and working towards my God Ordained Legacy and Dreams (G.O.L.D) as the Chief G.O.L.D Digger. 📌If you are struggling to get back up or keep fighting the good fight of faith, I pray this post inspires you to GET UP AND GO FOR YOUR G.O.L.D. XoXo from #madamemerola #thebangcreator #gettingbackup #overcomingsetbacks #fallandrise #totaltransformationcoach #christianlifecoach #vulnerableyetstrong #empoweringlives #strengthfromabove #strengthfromwithin #backinaction #downbutnotout #womenwholead (at FALL AND RISE) https://www.instagram.com/p/CiIcksZDTzH/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[bitchymorningcoffee]

I'm fragile and it's important that I am gentle with myself. No one can tear me down like I can.

I had a few things not go the way I hoped for them to go today and it left me feeling discouraged. Instead of searching for comfort and solice in someone else, I gave it to myself.

I know what I needed and exactly how I needed to be coddled, so I did it myself.

I am in control of my emotions and how I respond to situations, I have to remember that. This world is mine and I demand the best from it. One way or another I'm going to get it.

[sher-eal]

Today's positive vibe is if we aim high and fall short, we still achieve more than by Aiming low and falling short! #positivequotes #positivevibes #aimhigh #itsoktofallshort #gettingbackup #staypositive https://www.instagram.com/p/B9IBiZdpXDo/?igshid=rgq7eubqfk67

[clairesbroken]

Live your life to the fullest I miss me.. #gettingbackup #officiallysingleagain (at Mt. Pamitinan) https://www.instagram.com/p/BRzq6VXBKCSdZhpTxW0vUv7BoJAHF3WNCxZXTE0/?igshid=10wbdjqfhdb2z

[hopefulcacophony]

How in the name of sweet baby jeebus...

did I get to be just over a month away from 51?

Nobody really gets it when older folk tell you they feel the same inside. Well, we do change, people grow up... mostly.

50 isn’t that old, but parts of me are broken beyond a *normal* 50, and to be honest, I don’t feel good enough, deserving...

This time last year I had a person. We weren’t perfect, far from it, but I had hope that we could be good together. My fibro was OK, I could do this relationship thing. She even met my family. First girlfriend I’d officially introduced them to. They’d met one other when my gran was dying, but she wasn’t introduced as my girlfriend, and of course the boys, they’d met 4 of those.

Then I had a flare, a really bad one and we drifted and I was too ill to do anything and she emailed me. I was too ill to really deal with it, it took me months, and I’m still angry, more with fibro that anything. She and I weren’t right, but she destroyed my dream, she fed that nightmare instead. 

She confirmed the dark voice, the one that said it wasn’t fair to be with anyone. To make them have to deal with my aches, pains, fog, fatigue... that nobody wanted someone like me. Because after more than a year, at the first real indication of what the worst of this disease was really like, the girl who told me she loved me didn’t. And she couldn’t tell me to my face. 

This has been one of the crappiest years EVER. Fibro has been running wild, my heart got dented, my ego and my pride are still in traction. 

In just over a month I’ll be 51, and I still sound like a whiny teen inside my head half the time, I still feel like that hopeful girl though, maybe not every day, but enough. I still want what she wants.

Happiness.

[yasminvishrammorris-lmft-wo-blog]

How to deal with failure...

When you've been knocked down its always difficulty to get back up.  There is this burning sensation in your gut that forces you to demoralize yourself - give up.  But that “button” that you feel - that burning sensation can also catapult you to another level if you allow yourself to think of it differently.  It is that crunch in your tummy that is actually telling you to be kind to yourself.  To dig deep and understand that you are trying the same way that everyone is trying.   If you can allow yourself to think about all the times that you attempted to go about life with integrity - despite failing and allow yourself the think about all the times that you experienced small victories - those are the moments that help you determine that you are worthy.  Even in moments of failure, think back....were there golden moments that you can think of?  Were there times that you really felt good about something that you did?  Can you look at the moments that were useful to take from the experience?  This is how i deal with my failures.  it helps me to get back up and try again.  Rely on those moments that are inherently good - challenge your tendency to shit all over yourself by thinking about those small daily victories....even in failure.  Write out a list of all that’s good about you...all of the accomplishments!  I challenge you today to try it...get out that notebook and write down 100 accomplishments...i bet you'll be surprised at all that you’ve done to get you to this point.  

[climbthatgoddammountain]

fri 22 june 2018

i had a mental breakdown this morning

and last night

and the night before.

they seem to be getting worse, more frequent and unstoppable.

i don't know why they are happening, like i feel like i shouldn't have anything to complain about. 

if the depression is coming back, I'm probably screwed.

i want to be happy.

i want to do fun things.

i want to enjoy my life not just sit around with no friends and watching netflix.

i want to actually live, breathe and win at living my life not just get a participation certificate.

be the leading lady of my life, not the forgotten, underdeveloped background character.

i am gunna climb this goddam mountain of a life and fucking enjoy it.