#girlstopapologizing

[vogueandcoffee]

“When you live your life in a state of gratitude, it changes everything. From a place of feeling immensely blessed, we see immense possibility; we believe good things are possible and maybe even likely to happen to us. When it comes to setting the foundation to succeed, it helps if you believe that your success is likely.”

Rachel Hollis

[smpreston]

There are a hundred ways to learn to swim and one very easy way to drown, and that is by being unwilling to admit you’re drowning in the first place.

Rachel Hollis

[kindafitcass]

Y'all I'm SO excited to have received my copy of Girl, Stop Apologizing!! . I LOVED @msrachelhollis first book; Girl, Wash Your Face! When I saw that this book was coming out I HAD to pre-order it! . I can't wait to dive in. Rachel Hollis and her husband, @mrdavehollis, have been such a huge part of my personal development journey with their books and podcasts! . I highly, highly suggest diving into these books or listening to the #risepodcast and #risetogetherpodcast they're all amazing and eye opening! . This month is all about growing self love and I assure you these resources will definitely jump start your journey! . . #perosnaldevelopment #selflove #growatyourownpace #growintolove #girlstopapologizing #girlwashyourface #rachelhollis #davehollis #soexcited #startyourjourney #growwithme #marchintoselflove #kindafit (at New Hampshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/BusG4fPlaeH/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=zw85noxe50t9

[mikeewento]

I've been containing my thoughts lately because I don't want to be overwhelmed by everything. This day, Friday, has been my breathing escape from those. Glad you came. 🙂 Happy weekend! ✨ Thank you Ma'am Dons for the 📖💛 #goodread #fridayreads #girlstopapologizing #selfempowerment #instagood https://www.instagram.com/p/CZRhAJ7vIKf/?utm_medium=tumblr

[heyahsan]

This is ... well how should I say this...!!! Okay, office book club, suggested and selected to read (I could have ignored though) and send over five bucks amazon gift card in an email towards Amazon buy. Ordered few weeks ago, arrived past Friday. I spot this book while ago and passed on as a chick-book (if that’s a word) ... Now found this by my bed side (fell free/don judge lol) and, I confess ... I was wrong ... This is one brilliant book to read to boost your self esteem and organize your thought to build/be aware of a very sold personality and self discovery :) #Recommended #Opinion #BookClub #GirlStopApologizing #RachaelHallis #SelfDiscovery #BookToRead #BoostSelfEsteme #GoodReal #LightRead #HomeDoings #LatenightRituals #HappyWinter #February2021 #HappyWednesaday #Chicago #SweetHome (at Ahsan's Home) https://www.instagram.com/p/CLsv-myJcBb/?igshid=oow3gfancn0u

[thisisstillme]

I’ve been listening to this on my morning walks. Love @msrachelhollis and I always feel motivated afterwards. I’ve just started listening to the section about permission and I can really relate! I never even realised! #girlstopapologizing #reading #bookstagram #books #book #read #bookworm #booklover #bookish #booknerd #bookaddict #instabook #reader #bookshelf #booksofinstagram #bookstagrammer #bookaholic #literature #booklove #igreads #instabooks #readersofinstagram #bookblogger https://www.instagram.com/p/CGaWIbWAueU/?igshid=16zk4q9fne5ha

[wildeswiftieuk]

I posted this quote from 'Girl, Stop Apologizing' on my story a few days ago, now I am saying it louder for the people in the back 💯🔊🙌 . @msrachelhollis . #quote #girlstopapologizing #opinions #letthemgo #motivation #yougotthis #liveforyourself #letgoofwhatnolongerservesyou #personaldevelopment #failure #achievegreatness #positivity #onlyyoucanchangeyourlife https://www.instagram.com/p/CBBOzYVJnQ0/?igshid=1wxv8nm2re5bo

[meredithsreadingchallenge]

Today, after having to put it off for a couple of weeks, I am going to be talking about Excuse #5 from “Girl, Stop Apologizing”.  I think I felt hesitant to talk about this chapter because I have this excuse in the back of my mind, holding me back. So far, all the other excuses ring true, but it was an epiphany to feel that I have been using this one as well to justify why I can’t accomplish my dreams.

Excuse #5 is I can’t pursue my dream and still be a good mom/daughter/employee. However, I would like to mix it up a bit today. I forgot that at the back of the book, Rachel Hollis provided Discussion questions for each chapter. They can be used for anything.

I know, I should read cover-to-cover before I start typing! (Probably).

Anyway, I would like to take the time to answer the discussion questions based on my personal life as I dive into the chapter with you. Let’s go!

The first question asks you to fill in the blank, of the same excuse and to explain why you feel this way based on other’s expectations.

Here’s my fill in the blank:

I can’t pursue my dream and still be a good student, employee, and friend.

One of the things Hollis talks about is that there is no such thing as work-life balance, and I couldn’t agree more as I am in the middle of obtaining a bachelor’s degree. Work-life balance, from Hollis’s perspective, insinuates, “those two things live in harmony, perfectly divided up on the scale of your life” (pp.44). It’s a lie. 

A way I connected to this is the idea of trade-offs if we can reflect on taking Economics in high school or college. A trade-off is an exchange between two goods, where if one needs to be produced more, the other lacks behind. The only time the two goods can fulfill enough resources to demand is at equilibrium, and I think that’s why we hold onto the lie that we can balance our work and life. It’s just not possible. There’s always going to be a trade-off for what you have to do versus what you’ve always dreamed of achieving. 

Am I ringing some truth?

I used to think I could balance my life and work as well, but it never was the case. As a student, I know I am responsible to be present in class, physically and habitually when we transitioned to remote instruction, and complete the work on time. As an employee, the same thing applies. I tried to balance both of these expectations as a student and worker at a part-time job on my campus. From a career perspective,this job isn’t considered ideal, but it will look good on my resume, thus benefiting my future. However, working meant that I would lose some study time, such as completing assignments when I usually would, and I had to figure out how to have a life as I tried balance school, work, social time, and me-time. It felt like it was out of my control more than a balance. Then, I started to feel like I couldn’t be a good student for working, a good employee if I wanted to participate in extracurricular activities, or a friend because I didn’t have enough time to go out and have fun.

Again, there is no work-life balance, but I’m learning, now that I am taking a break from school until the next semester, that there is a way to achieve the dreams without it feeling like a trade-off out of your control. There is a way not to feel guilty for achieving something you want in life, and that is addressed in the next question.

Question two includes two parts as well to help the reader reflect on their well-being on pp. 213. It says,

“You cannot waste [your life] living only for everyone else” (pp. 42).

Do you feel it is selfish to put your well-being first? Why or why not?

After reflecting on the quote, I do sometimes feel like I am selfish to put my well-being before anyone else’s because I do not believe that it matters. Looking back over my life, I realize that I gave myself the role of a caregiver to others—accepting them regardless of their character—because I thought that would mean they would accept me. I put myself last because if I cared for someone else, I would get the love I would need to live.

I bet you’re shaking your head, maybe considering your own life as we go through these questions, but to be clear, I am slowly changing this belief about myself because I need to take of myself before I can take care of someone else. Living for others is not a healthy lifestyle.

I am thankful for the experiences I’ve had that have shown me it’s great to be kind to others, but I have learned that I need to be kind to myself and aware of others’ character before I get sucked into becoming manipulated. Presently, I am trying to take care of myself while being self-isolated, and I know I have the right people in my circle that have my best interests as I do for theirs. I can now start to focus on my well-being, life, and goals in 2020, gradually accepting that I am not selfish to have this excuse that I cannot be a good student, employee, and friend. 

I can achieve my goals, and so can you.

Please feel free to take the time to answer these questions and to read her book if you’re interested! I like following Rachel Hollis and her company because they are making a great impact on young women and girls alike to become the best version of themselves, so I highly recommend checking her out.

(Also, let’s be clear, still not getting paid to do this! I don’t need to because I enjoy sharing resources with others that I think would be helpful!)

As for other updates, I am planning out future book reviews. The next two books I plan to post here are the ones I had to read for the semester because they count, and I had to put time and energy into them for coursework! They pushed me ahead in my goal, so they’re getting reviewed. Let’s see if they made high marks, eh?

There are no currently reading updates today except that I finished another book yesterday, May 7. I finished reading “The Subtle Knife” by Phillip Pullman—I couldn’t resist, and it wasn’t that bad—and I’m planning to read a young adult romance novel alongside this book and “IT”.

As always, stay safe out there and thank you for checking out my blog. See you soon!

*Photo Credit: this photo is a blurred version of the cover from the book. The cover is originally designed by Sami Lane from the Hollis Company, and the photo credit for the front page photo goes to Jorge Macias. Text is generated from FireAlpacca (Snap ITC).