#GlobalGlitters: Moments
There are moments that define you, shape who you are or who you might become. There are big ones, like the first day of school, graduating college or losing someone you love. There are small ones too, like the first time you get caught in a lie, a silly mistake or tripping over your shoelaces and breaking your first bone. There are people who touch your life in ways that you might not comprehend and, believe it or not, you might affect them too more than you’ll ever know.
My life has been a series of moments just like everyone else’s, but I truly feel in this very moment that everything is beginning again and that my moments have culminated into something great. For the first time in my life, I feel as though I have done something – actually, a fair few somethings.
Most of you already know that this new series of moments have been a ripple effect from a series of big, huge, life changing moments in the past five-ish years of my life. I can go back as far as when I moved to New York at 21 or when I quit my first job and went from the professional frying pan into the fire. But really it all began when I went into a bar on Third Avenue on a Tuesday with my best friend and met a handsome, carefree Aussie traveller. That eventually led me to leap into a new life across the world. Into three jobs in 6 months, one of which was the most instrumental in my career and personal life alike. Into a group of girls unlike any I have ever known, my forever best friends. Into a three bedroom apartment shared with a series of cheeky English boys, more best friends. It led me to my first crippling heart break. And it forced me to create lifelong friendships in unconventional place - on the dance floors of pubs, the check out lines of grocery stores, at football games, through deskside chats and professional emails.
It was one big, huge, life changing moment that altered me forever. The hardest thing about leaving your life at time when you are still learning about who you really are is that you’ve not settled enough to understand the gravity of starting over. It’s also one of the best things because it allows you to flip to a new page with naïve eyes and an open heart, ready to fling ink on a fresh, stark white page. Don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware that my age has absolutely nothing to do with the way I feel (except following too many tequila shots on a Friday night). If there’s anything I learned from travelling so far it’s that age is just a number – you can be just as idiotic at 19 as you can at 39. But, at 27, I am different.
I am 100% positive that none of us really knows what we’re doing and that even the ones who have a plan are still winging it. It’s comforting. I know that if I want to do something, I can, no matter what. I know that parents say and do fucked up things sometimes because they are just regular old humans – equally frightening and reassuring. I know that goodbyes make the hellos worth it and that it takes effort to maintain friendships, but that it hurts when it seems like you’re the only one willing to make it. I know that your friends can be your soulmates who will fill in for family when there is none around. In fact, they are family. I know that I still love surprises and glitter and starry skies and rainy days that don’t make me feel guilty for staying in bed. Boys can be some of your friends – but you have to remember that they’re boys, which means that 85% of the time you want to punch them but that they’ll always surprise you and cheer you up when you need it most. I know that working alongside other strong people makes you want to be stronger, not only as a professional but also as a person and surrounding yourself with amazing means some of it rubs off on you by default. I’ve found that crying in airports and on planes is probably the worst places to cry – not because of the stares of concern of passersby, but because of the instrumental reasons behind the tears. I understand now the value of female friendships and how these special women can save you from everyone, especially yourself. I’m less jealous, more respectful. I try to be thoughtful when I can and express my opinions without undermining others. I see now that you can impact the world around you by simply being yourself.
Sydney never seemed like an option for me. I never watched Nemo and dreamt of seeing the Great Barrier Reef or the Opera House. I watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s and longed to live in the buzz of Manhattan and stumbled down the cobblestone streets of Rome with intentions of creating a life there. Sydney seemed like a crazy idea. One of those crazy ideas that is just crazy enough to work. And it did. It worked in so many ways for me, from the lessons I’ve learnt, to the people I’ve met to the places I’ve seen. I came as one person and leave now as another. Cliché but true just the same.
The things I will miss about Sydney are far too many to name. The laundry list of the perks of living in a sun soaked, beach side city is predictable at best. But, for me, it’s the beautiful faces and souls of the people I have met in Sydney that are the hardest for me to leave. I came to Sydney with one friend and left with an extended family. I moved to Sydney for love and left with even more love than I came there with.
So, how am I feeling as I fly 38,000ft somewhere over Asia away from my life in Sydney? I’ve been thinking about it for a few hours and the only word that comes to mind is full. Full of love and sadness. Full of anticipation and excitement. Full of happiness and memories. Full of exhilarating fear. Full of so many emotions that my mind cannot compute in the magnitude of this moment, a big one. All I know is that at 27, I am different, At 27, I am loved by so many people who have touched my life, and whose lives I have moved as well. At 27, I still believe in serendipity and love and happily ever after. At 27, I look back at my moments and see no regrets, just a series of good luck and successful missteps that have led me here, to me, the girl who is different at 27. The same girl who has no idea when the next big, huge, life changing moment might happen but can’t wait to see what it brings.