10 Things in 2.5 years in Oz
1. Being an adult is both the best and worst thing ever. There are many cons about being a grown up but I’m finding that the pros seems to balance them out. When I was in a sorority (sigh), we used to list pros and cons about the girls who were vying for a spot in our newest pledge class. Looking back this was a terrible practice with many cons coming from our immature little mouths that were to the tune of ‘she was socially awks’ or ‘I hate her from high school’, but for life it’s kind of interesting. We listed them in ‘pro, con, con, pro’ – you know, so we could always end on a positive. Here are my quick adulthood pro, con, con, pros:
• Pro: I can eat ice cream for dinner, afford takeaway when I’m feeling lazy and kebabs after 2 am.
• Con: I gain weight at an accelerated speed unparalleled to most other 26 year olds I know.
• Con: I am know wholly responsible for the terrible decisions I make
• Pro: my parents no longer feel the need (nor want) to know what said decisions are. I’m not talking about bad haircuts; I’m talking about meaningless relationships and calling out of work when I just don’t wanna or cannot even. The big fuck ups are on a strictly need to know basis.
I could probably list these out at ad nauseum but I think you get the picture – being an adult is big and scary but can also be a lot of fun if you make sure you’re not a complete idiot.
2. I love strong coffee. Good coffee. Australian coffee. Latté. Still with ice (a habit I can’t quit). Sometimes with a very small hit of vanilla syrup or cinnamon on top or both. *I won’t deny that I still catch cravings for the sugar laden mud water that is Dunkin Donuts large vanilla iced coffee. I love it. Judge me.
3. I’m attracted to weak men. This is a blanket statement, which is the type of statement I make often. There are two types of weak men that seem to be a pattern in my life: the weak ones and the strong ones who have one major flaw that makes them inherently weak. I’ll explain:
a. Weak men who have come and gone in my life are no match for me. I say this is a factual way, not gloatingly. They let me win, every time. They feared my bossy bitch attitude, which was really just me seeing how far I could push things. They mistook my honesty (sometimes brashness) for meanness. They let me walk all over them so much so that I had no idea that I was doing it. They didn’t understand that despite my brave façade of having hopes and dreams and a ‘plan’ (whatever that means), I was just as scared and lost and weird as them. Idiots.
b. Strong men are lovely, quirky characters and I hope to end up with one. The ones I have encountered are not the ones I hope to end up with. These ones have one major flaw, the proverbial Achilles heel. They don’t seem to be much affected by the flaw but it will likely plague their lives and they will die sad and alone. The flaw can be as small as vanity or mild insecurity or as big as not valuing a key component of life – love. I am decidedly blessed when it comes to love and I have seen such great love in my 26 years. Great love that my parents share with each other, their children and their friends. Great love that I have felt from a great person. Great love that I see in the faces of my friends and really cute puppies. I feel bad for the strong men who I have met that do not value this love nor feel the need for it in their hearts. This is not to say that they are wrong, I simply feel sorry for them that they’re missing out on something so awe inspiringly beautiful. On my death bed I won’t look back on the scientific discoveries made by my peers or the mansion I owned but I will look back at the number of seashells I plucked from sand all over the world with my parents or the first dance with my dad at my wedding (fingers crossed).
4. It’s ain’t so bad flying solo (says the girl quietly clicking away on her macbook alone on a beach in Malaysia). I have always relished in the company of the people I love. Boyfriends, family, friends, animals, small children, anyone who will listen to me really. I have always hated the thought of being alone and left to my own devices. The thought of going to a movie alone or eating solo at a restaurant used to give me anxiety. Now it makes me feel accomplished that I can spend 45 minutes eating my eggs benny and iced coffee in god damned peace. After 2 years spent with someone constantly at my side, I think of my 8-month recovery from…whatever the opposite of social anxiety is called…a pretty kick ass thing.
5. It is ok to not. It is ok to not go (to the show, the party, the mall). It is ok to not want to be around people. It is ok to not get out of bed until 3pm on a Saturday. It is ok to not go to the beach when it’s hot out. It is ok to not eat breakfast (sometimes, not always because brekkie is important). It is ok to not like (certain people, colours, couples, too much parsley, water without ice). It is ok to not want to drink until you black out. It is ok to not feel settled or happy or sometimes anything at all. It is ok – so stop beating yourself up about.
6. However, it is not ok to be mean for no reason, not say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, drink the last of something and not replace it, forget to call your parents to say hi, judge people for doing things that you wouldn’t, keep secrets from people who should know them, talk behind people’s backs, abuse commas, curse too much (ugh), pee in public, complain.
7. Not caring isn’t the same as being ambivalent. This is something that I have long been a fan of but wasn’t really truly clued into until I read an article titled ‘the art of not giving a fuck’. He explained it perfectly that in life, you’re not going to get very far if you care all the way about every little thing. It’s best to pick the big things to care about and skirt the rest. Less gray hairs, less anxiety, less meh. So basically, limit the things you worry about and you’re golden. Which brings me to…
8. Just say ‘Meh.’ Meh is my favourite thing to say to someone who is talking to me about something that a) they shouldn’t be complaining about b) they have no right to be upset about c) I don’t give a shit about d) is stupid e) I don’t know how to respond to or f) all of the above. Example: “OMG Britt this person just got in front of me in line at the grocery store” MEH. “Dude, did you see that stupid hat whatsherface is wearing” MEH. “Do you think my XX looks XX in this XX” MEH. Meh meh meh. Find something more interesting to talk about. MEH. Sorry not sorry.
9. Your vibes mean everything. I have noticed time and time again that there are instances when I seem to repel all of those I wish to attract (friends and boys alike). The days when I am feeling particularly ornery, fluffy or exhausted I apparently exude these feelings through my pores creating an unattractive and scentless repellent that wards off all of those in my path. It’s my vibe. When your vibe is shitty, people know it. When your vibe is chill, people love it. When your vibe is desperate, you make everyone. Basically, put out good vibes and the good vibes will come back to you. Sit in a corner with your nose to your phone screen checking your instagram and everyone will think you’re lame. Fact.
10. I will never stop trying to make ‘love you, mean it’ a thing. It is a thing. It’s my thing. Leslie Knope has “I love you and I like you”. The kids from A Fault in our Stars had “okay.” The Goonies has the truffle shuffle. And I have LYMI. And I really do mean it. I love you guys – you know who you are.