#glue boy

[marceldawn]

stim board for glue boy @localsandwichdealer

[snailsfall]

Zim showers in glue therefore he smells like glue

[3puck]

[captainexplody]

Glue Boy

Glue Boy slips down the street slowly, his gluey legs constantly sticking to the pavement. Glue Boy forces his legs up as hard as he can, trying to pull them off the pavement in order to make step after step. He gets there slowly but surely. Glue, it turns out, is very sticky. Glue Boy wears a t-shirt with his logo on it (it’s a boy made out of glue) over his gluey torso, the shirt sticks to his glue body because he is made of glue. I don’t know if you guys have realised this yet, but Glue Boy is essentially a boy made out of glue. Imagine if you will, a large pile of glue. Now shape that glue into a vague human shape, give it a head and limbs. Vague outlines of facial features. Then stick a t-shirt into the middle of that gluey mess. Now imagine that glue monstrosity trying to walk down a street. That thing you’re imagining? That’s Glue Boy. 

Glue Boy struggles on down the street, everything sticking to him as he walks past. He ends up pulling up street tiles and pipes, pieces of newspaper and crisp packets, litter bins and small dogs. Anything within sticking distance is indeed stuck to the body of Glue Boy as he goes out on patrol around the city he was sworn to protect after the tragic accident that left him eternally youthful, and also entirely consistent of glue. Ah but what could have possibly turned a boy into glue, hmm? What kind of monumental event could this have been? That’s a story for another day, isn’t it? Is it? I think it is. Or is it? Maybe it is.

Glue Boy creeps his glue body down the street further and further, looking for crime he can stop or mysteries he can solve or some other garbage like he read about in comic books. His parents always told him that reading comics was a stupid past time and nothing like that could ever happen in real life. Ah but low and behold, something like that did happen, and now Glue Boy is literally a boy made out of glue. He got his superhero origin just like he always wanted, and now he is out there making the streets safer, also just like he always wanted. And where are his parents now, huh? We cannot say. Nobody knows for sure. Maybe they’re fine. Maybe they moved away. Maybe they were killed by being force fed large quantities of glue. Who knows? Nobody can say for certain.

Glue Boy continues to slurp down the street stickily. Everybody around him is extremely angry, including one passerby who starts to shake his fist angrily at Glue Boy: The Boy Made of Glue (tm).

Passerby: Hey you big freak! Give me my shopping back! You sucked my shopping bag into your big goopy body there!

Glue Boy: I’m sorry.

Passerby: Well what are you going to do about it?

Glue Boy: ...? I don’t know.

Passerby: I want you to pay me back for the exact contents of the bag! And I want you to pay for the bag you stole! And also I want you to give me compensation for the time I’ve lost chastising you here, plus interest for the awful emotional trauma I’ve had to suffer through from having to witness my shopping being sucked into the body of a boy made out of glue. AAAAAAND I want you to perform at my birthday party in a few months, doing tricks.

Glue Boy: I don’t do tricks.

Passerby: Well what do you do then?

Glue Boy: I solve crimes.

Passerby: What crimes have you solved recently?

Glue Boy: .... Ok forget that. I don’t do tricks,  I stick stuff to my sticky glue body.

Passerby: Well just do tricks involving that then. Like stick something to the roof, or stick a cat to a car or something.

Glue Boy: This sounds like a terrible birthday party.

Passerby: Well I’m a terrible person. Anyway give me that money you owe me! I’m mentally scarred here, after watching my shopping getting sucked into your body like that. You owe me the price of those goods!

Glue Boy: Ok how much do I owe you?

Passerby: Well the bag was full, FULL of items I tell you. I got a new torch and some batteries for the torch and a bag of oranges and some milk and some glasses for me to drink with and some napkins for me to wipe milk away from my face after I’ve drank the milk and also a milk container for putting the milk into whenever guests come over to visit and also a milk jug and also a milk jug cosy that fits over the top of the milk jug and looks like Marilyn Monroe.

Glue Boy: Wow that’s a lot of stuff. A lot of oddly milk related stuff. How much did that cost?

Passerby: Including the price of the bag it cost me £2.37.

Glue Boy looks confused (or as confused as a boy whos face (and body i guess) is made entirely out of glue). A large crowd has started to gather around the two men, or one man and one glue boy monster thing. The crowd are interested in the banter between these two, yet not remotely interested in trying to diffuse the situation or break it up in any manner. It’s fun to watch people arguing, see. 

Glue Boy: What?! That’s all?

Passerby: Yeah cause I bought it from the pound shop so everything was real cheap already, plus also I know how to work those people to get them to give me discounts. ‘Oh there’s a chip in this milk container, you’re going to have to give me half price for this’, etc.

Glue Boy: ... Half price over something that already costs a pound?

Passerby: Yes.

Glue Boy: Wow. That’s pretty cheap and stingy of you.

Passerby: Hey, money doesn’t grow on trees you know.

Glue Boy: Then don’t spend it on a load of junk that you don’t need, regardless of how cheap it is. 

The crowd of people watching all whoop and cheer like they’re on the Ricki Lake show. That show still exists, right? The passerby doesn’t take kindly to being spoken to like that.

Passerby: Hey! I don’t take kindly to being spoken to like that!

Glue Boy: Ok fine.

Passerby: Repay me my hard earned money! I demand all £2.37 of the money I spent, money I LEGALLY EARNED MYSELF by being unemployed and having a rich father! Give me my money, give it back now give it to me!

Glue Boy sighs and reaches his arm out towards the man. The passerby now looks shocked as he sticks to Glue Boy’s gluey arm. The glue that makes up the arm all sloops forwards and envelopes the passerby, consuming and covering him quickly. The glue arm pulls back into the main body of Glue Boy, absorbing the passerby into the glue and melting him somehow, turning his body into energy. Glue Boy nods his head to himself in self satisfaction, before he turns to look at the crowd who are all staring back at him, wide eyed.

Glue Boy: Anybody else think I owe them money?

The crowd stays quiet.

Glue Boy: Ok good. Hey, while you’re all here, any of you have any crimes you want me to solve?

The crowd once again remains silent, and then disperses quickly. Glue Boy clicks his gluey fingers together in disappointment.

Glue Boy: Rats, I almost had a crime to solve there. Ah well. Onward I go! Searching for crimes.

Glue Boy starts the slow process of glooping his gluey body down the street again, on the search for some crimes, blissfully unaware that he is committing more crimes than he is solving. Being a villain is much easier than being a hero, Glue Boy just hasn’t figured this out yet. Or has he? That’s a story for another day. Maybe. Probably not.

[marinaandthediamonds-brasil]

Fan: "Do you remember me?" Marina: "No" Fan: "I'm the glue boy" Marina: "You're the blue boy" Fan: "I'M THE GLUE BOY" Marina: "OHH THE GLUE BOY!!!"

Video by: @raeenroes