#god-awful

[bobtaildigger]

I Be Geniusen Stuff - Penny Dreadful S1-3

[dailyquoted15-blog]

I want to see the good in people. I choose to see the good in people. And getting into someone's mind and trying to find the god-awful thing that happened to them that made them do the god-awful thing to somebody else has seriously impaired my ability to giggle and it makes my brain all wonky and I don't like it.

Penelope Garcia|Criminal Minds

[brand-new-jam]

wow this has been a really shitty day.

[tormentedorganism-blog]

Muck

Fag ends and ash in a glass tray.

Smoke caught in the curtains, in the cushions and the armchair fabric.

The stain on the carpet from the bottle of whiskey knocked over.

The stack of records all mixed up and out of order.

A pair of girls shoes on my welcome mat, thats weird.

Her in the bed, odder yet.

At least she hung about.

Toast and tea.

Too frosty outside to go anywhere.

Back to bed.

More music.

The sound of her showering.

Her sweet face cucooned in a towel, looks strange but sweet nonetheless.

An awkward kiss as she leaves for a lecture.

What should I do now?

[jurczaka]

chugging cold coffee,

watching god-awful music videos and blocking my eyes from the pile of books i need to get through tonight. happy friday, all.

[conorisgreat]

An absolutely terrible story, only read on if you are a terrible person

AN: I wrote this with three other "authors" don't expect any sort of consistency, I just feel the need to make everyone else feel pain. There's a lot of swearing, if you care.

A fucking legit story-chapter 1

  Shauna Fortuna was worried. If the weather wasn’t bad enough, she had a job interview today – and there weren’t any fucking taxis around. The interview was for a job involving err “special” skills and if the interview went well then it would be a dream come true. She frontflipped into a bus, and hoped that it went towards her workplace of choice, by reasons of pure deus ex machina, it did. She pulled up her bag, and reached inside, she had to get ready. Applying a thick coat of scarlet colour to her lips, she noticed something – the guy in front of her was shaking, sniffles slipping from him. The bus was empty, being early morning, and she edged her way toward the man.  “What the fuck is wrong with you, feeling empty inside haha lol” Shauna inquired. The man turned around looking surprised “H-how did you know?” he stuttered with tears of blood running down his face.

“Nope” Shauna skidaddled to her job interview, not wanting to take part in this faggotry. She sheepishly entered the building, waiting at the front desk. A man with a moustache was furiously tapping away at a keyboard behind the counter. He was a grotesque sight to behold, and perhaps the odd stench emanating from behind the counter foreshadowed his disgusting appearance before he looked up to squint at her. He had a large, spotty nose – black hairs escaping from the massive cave-like nostrils. His moustache was littered with food, and his lips – chapped and raw – seemed almost hidden under the hairy expanse of his moustache. Upon his nose rested a pair of rickety glasses, repaired with tape at the corners. I looked at his name tag it read “Luke Bennett”. Luke Bennett huh I think I may have heard that name from somewhere, yes it was all coming back to me, he was infamous on the internetz. He knew what I was here for immediately; he smiled a hideous smile and handed me two pills

“Take one” I thought fuck it and took both of them and then holy shit he burst into spiders, thousands of them, I fucking shit myself, I blinked and they were all gone, as was Luke Bennett. While I was still recovering from this a tall, Aryan man wearing sunglasses entered the room.

“That was a test” He took off his sunglasses, revealing another pair of sunglasses “and you just got yourself a job.”  Shauna frowned, as the man passed her a pistol, and a black bag – along with a pair of sunglasses. “Get into the taxi, and your first job will be apparent when you arrive. Good luck.” The Aryan man prescribed, as if reading from a script. “Hang a bang now, you haven’t told me the details of my job, care to explain?”. The Aryan man took off his sunglasses and said “ I guess you could say...you’re the only one for the job” yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

“That doesn’t fucking explain anything!” shouted Shauna, the Aryan man responded by licking his lips and winking, but you couldn’t see that because he was wearing sunglasses...duh!

The taxi broke down, I was furious as shit, I pushed the button on my forehead and went at the speed of light to the location inputted into my interface, a bank was being robbed, I threw up a constant stream of sunglasses at 73 miles per hour, killing the robbers as well as several dozen civilians, things weren’t looking good, someone had phoned the police. I panicked. The phone started ringing, it was the Aryan

“lmfao psml lol xoxoxox o.o” he said, with raging emotion.

I sighed, holstering my pistols. I pulled on my Hollister trackies and a boob tube, applying an enormous amount of fake tan and bronzer. I quickly put on some high-heels and I knew I was ready. “EW FAKKIN STARTIN OR WA?”  I yelled at the group of pensioners that passed, drawing my gun again and firing it at an old woman’s leg. “FAKKIN KILL EW ALL!”

Someone placed a hand on my shoulder and simply told me to stop. I turned around, it was a doctor! And a beautiful one at that. “You have done well, Shauna. Nice to meet you my name is Dr Bhut Fuucler and I am your senior at the company you work at. Now come you have to have a meeting to attend at “Fantasies for You TM”.

“Sounds legit” I responded, I puked my sunglasses at the floor, propelling myself backwards, I could see the entiiiiiiiiiiiiire block it was fantastic, I felt so alive. Suddenly a gang of seagulls swaggered up to me in mid-air.

“wha u dooen on r turf baht” I shat a brick, killing an infant down below. “I-it was a mistake” I pleaded. They replied

“fare nuff en, can i get yhoo numba bbz??? Xx” They asked as I floated back to the floor, I was so fed up of everything trying to get in my snatch. I flew to starbucks and got out my gleaming white macbook, I then tore out the heart of the coffee douchebag because he was looking at me funny.

For some wonderful reason the company i was going to work at was right next to Starbucks (but isn’t fucking EVERYTHING) and I enetered the doors of the building. Dr Fuucler was waiting for me and smiled when I came through the doors. “I’m glad you came he said,” with a smile. I went up to him and snogged him “I think you’re really lush wanna kiss?” I inquired and he looked at me confusedly “I’m sorry Shauna but i’m gay” he said and i gasped “Everyone who works at “Fantasies for you TM” is gay”.

I screamed so hard Dr Fuucler’s bowels ruptured, I began to cry. He was my only friend in this world and I just killed him with his own shit. The Aryan walked in the room.

“Oh don’t worry about him. HE’S A CLONE, OOOOOOOOOEEOEOEOEOE!” the sound he made was slightly unnerving, I did a one eighty and tried to leave the building, only to be greeted by thirty nine police men.

“oh shit yeah, I killed a couple of dozen people earlier, soz.”

“fare nuff lol” they said, before exploding into custard.

My head was spinning; I’m guessing all of these events were due to the pills that the creepy man gave me earlier. Perhaps... perhaps I just had to sleep it off, yes...

I found a bedroom in the building and the Aryan man and Doctor Fuucler were...making love. Is this wat Fantasies for you was about huh wazzit? But i didn’t complain, I just watched with intent. Mangasms echoed around the whole building and many queries were made “Do you want lube this time?”, “Why are you so tight?” “You wanna swallow it this time?”...i left. My phone started ringing, it was jesus.

“sup” I hung up, he’s such a clingy little bitch, but some Christians heard me call him a bitch, even though I only thought it.

“burn the witch!” I was all like, nooo plllzzzzzzz and they agreed, and turned into FUCKING HONEY BADGERS.  There wiz loads o stanists and htey were comin 2 fite da xristianz but Meledromatic Annie came over to me and we had rly hot [geddit cos i’m goffik] lesbian sex, she ivan put her tung in my fanny and wiggled it all around and it wuz rly hot. Then she queefed on my face and we had lesbgasms. It was bloody [geddit cos i drink blood].

“Holy crap” I screamed, waking up from my hallucinogenic trance. “What the hell was that!” I shouted to myself, but i wasn’t by myself i was in a room full of cloned Dr Fuucler and just one Aryan man. “Yosh, that signals that signals the end of the meeting we’ve discussed a lot of stuff here today” said the Aryan man taking off his glasses. “Wait what is Fantasies for you, what does it involve, what does it mean, why, what ,who?”. The Aryan man took a deep breath and announced “Fantasies for you was our Young Enterprise idea. This is what it has become.”

[listenjustlisten]

we agreed to not tell anyone outside of our circle of friends. you said that was ok with you. it was fine. saying that we are when someone asks is not not telling anyone. its the opposite of not telling anyone. its telling someone. if youre going to legitimately answer anyone that asks, theres no point in not telling anyone. im sorry dating makes me have panic attacks and stress out, but i cant help it. you know that.

[noahfx]

it should be called the VEABTMDMAM's (Video entertainment awards because the music doesnt matter any more)