āGodlightā by Noah Kahan, except I make it all about Ryland Grace from Project Hail Mary
If anyone is in the same delusional boat, I might actually write this with more detail š«”
Thereās no way out of an angry crowd
Without steppinā on some toes
Theyāll scream your name ātil the lights go out
Then theyāll feed you to the wolves
Itās hard to say who youāll be
When they let those big red curtains close
You know this ācause you told me so
Ryland Grace writing a paper and making a comment that got him kicked out of the science society, without being able to go back into the field he worked so hard to be in
What is he supposed to do now?
I bet you forgot, black heels in the summertime
Dadās bad cookinā, though youād be polite
Honey, now you got a look that I donāt recognize
You pulled me aside and you said
Forgetting his potential in the process of becoming something new
āTo know me is to hate me
Ryland Grace that stands by what he wrote
Is to hate what Iāve become
Ryland Grace, who now teaches at a school
Itās to watch me as Iām fallinā
From that ladderās last rung
Going from everything to nothing
Itās to feel bad, like a secret you canāt keep in
Iām not the way I wasā
Ryland Grace Scientist vs Ryland Grace Teacher
Were you freed within? Did you leave your skin?
Are you tethered in your doubt?
Have you breathed it in ātil itās medicine
That you cannot live without?
Standing by what he wrote, but that being the same thing that stripped him of everything he once was, and now having to get used to the reality of what he now is, just a Teacher
āCause you came back home a fuckinā alien
And weāre stuck here on the ground
Call your mom back, kid, before the high comes down
Ryland Grace falling in love with teaching and trying to be the best of the best for his students
āCause you forgot, black heels in the summertime
Dirt road, smoking on a Friday night
Honey, now you got a look that I donāt recognize
You pulled me aside and you said
Feeling secure in the normalcy that has slowly built around him only to be opened by Stratt letting him be a scientist again. Watching a glipse of what he used to be
āTo know me is to hate me
Ryland Grace, who loves teaching kids
Is to hate what Iāve become
Ryland Grace going back to being a scientist
Itās to watch me as Iām fallinā
From that ladderās last rung
Going from what became everything to something that became nothing
Itās to feel bad, like a secret you canāt keep in
Iām not the way I wasā
Ryland Grace Teacher vs Ryland Grace Scientist
But to feel it, to see it
Going back to the confidence of knowing he is good at what he is
The look in all their eyes
Is to breathe in, to be in
The good grace of that godlight
His kids, what he wants to figure everything out for
Itās to have it in your hands
The one thing you wanted all your life
Being something small inside something big that will make a difference
Itās a hole I canāt fill
Itās a curse I canāt break
Having the knowledge he has when everything goes wrong, and they lose the people for the mission
And I cannot be reclaimed
Ryland Grace being forced to go on a mission he doesnāt want to go on
Ryland Grace, who didnāt want to be part of the mission
Is to hate what Iāve become
Dr. Grace, who doesnāt remember anything
Itās to watch me as Iām fallinā
From that ladderās last rung
Being Earthās last saving grace (everything) while just wanting to go back home (nothing)
Itās to feel bad, like a secret you canāt keep in
Ryland Grace, who died on Earth so Dr. Grace could live in Space.
But to feel it, to see it
The look in all their eyes
Meeting rocky and having the same mission, not being alone
Is to breathe in, to be in
The good grace of that godlight
Itās to have it in your hands
The one thing you wanted all your life
Completing the mission together with Rocky, having a chance to go back home
And to feel it, to see it
The look in all your eyes
Having to choose between Earth (no longer anything) and Rocky (everything)
Is to breathe in, to be in
The good grace of this godlight
Sending everything back to Earth, but not going along and hoping he will make it to Rocky and Rocky will be fine
Itās to have it in your hands
Itās the one thing I wanted all my life
Having a new home and getting his kids back (one way or another).