#goobus posts again

[superiorgoobus]

just saw this video that was about how to train your brain to read faster, and the biggest advice tey kept reiterating was that they reccomding 'shutting off the voice in your head because it slows you down' but as someone who has been speed reading for 20+ years I could still "hear" and keep up with the voice in my head up until 850 words per minute. I can talk out loud almost as fast as I can read (that was my party rtick in high school, I could outrap all my classmates) and so the voice in my head can talk about four times as fast as most people can read and I think that's crazy that the rest of ya'll aren't living like this. I think my psychiatrist is going to hear about this and go "wait that explains so much what the fuck"

[superiorgoobus]

I don't know how I managed this, but somehow my OCD overrides this idea other women seem to have about men staring at them in public.

I go to the grocery store, and I am IMMEDIATLEY locked in on mapping out the most efficient route to buy my groceries. I do not stop thinking "groceries groceries groceries groceries" from the time I walk throuh the door to the time I get back in my car. I don't worry about the shortness of my skirt or the tightness of my top. I only think about groceries. My brain can only focus on one thing at a time.

I go to the park, and I'm way too busy looking for birds in the trees to photograph to think for even a moment about the possibility that someone might be watching me watch the birds. they aren't relavent to this project, so I don't even know they're there.

I go to the car show. I look at the cars. I ask the young man my age questions about his engine mods. He doesn't think twice about why a girl is asking him car questions and simply answers me with enthusiam about his thoughts and ideas. Maybe he says something flirtatious, but if he did then I didn't notice it because i was too focused on building a mental map of these hoses and wires in my head. It's a puzzle I'm trying to solve, and I'm thoroughly entertained.

I'm going to a party tonight. I'm going to dress up real fancy, it's a fundraiser for my friends local circus troupe. I'm bringing a platonic female date. I'm going to wear a satin black minidress, with sparkling five-inch heels. Men might look at me. I won't notice. I won't be looking at them back.

[superiorgoobus]

I have been on this unholy site for over ten years and I just realized I don't know what queing a post does.

"It adds it to the queue" WHATS THE QUEUE??? Where does it start?? Or more accuratley when does it start?? If I say 'yeah lads put these text posts in a single-file line' who is the bouncer at the front of the line telling them when to go?? How often do they go??

Does it just delay my post by like five minuets or does it like send the post right after my next post??? Like I say 'get in line, bruh' and then I make another post and then the post-bouncer says 'yeah aight you can go on in now, the lines cleared' WHAT IS THE QUEUE???

[justagoobus]

I know I'm too disabled to get a proper job right now but BY GOD I AM SO BORED PLEASE SOMEONE INVENT A JOB THAT DOESNT MAKE ME DIE OF HEART PROBLEMS UGH I NEED SOCIAL CONNECTION DESPERATELY

[justagoobus]

Being a former child prodigy is kinda funny because like, all my childhood these teachers and other academic professionals were like "hey you know, your kid is smart enough to skip grades, she should totally do that and then become a legendary teenage doctor" and then my parents were always like "yeah, or she could be normal and NOT super fucked up by being constantly surrounded by people who are much older than her and she would never be socially well-adjusted and always feel alone and out of place. Maybe we let her be normal." And my parents were totally right this fucking slaps. I Love being socially well-adjusted and also a super genius with ten times more social skills than the average intellectual.

[superiorgoobus]

I keep trying to tell myself my upset stomach problems are because of some psychological inner turmoil and I can make myself feel better with emotional regulation but like... deep down, i know it's actually because I tried to eat an entire family-sized bag of totelini by myself again.

[superiorgoobus]

UMMMMMMM has anyone else noticed that sometimes when you end a reblog in "holy shit" your post gets nuked before it makes it to the dash??

Or every time I go "what the fuck even is this" BOOM post sent to fuckin Pluto or something.

I think Tumblr is trying to censor me. How rude.

[justagoobus]

Perused ao3 for The Great North fics last night, only to find not only is there only 30 fics in total but most of them are angst pieces about the kids trauma from their shorty mother, and not a whole lot of fluff pieces and I have decided that I am going to single-handedly start a Great North Fluff Revolution.

you heard it here first folks. The Great North Fluff is IN AND FASHIONABLE AND TRENDY