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This fucking merchant in Treviso, Juanita, has been telling me about her storied past with an abusive husband who was an earl. I was like mildly invested and then
Motherfucker has been telling me the plot of fucking Goodbye Earl by The Chicks this entire time.
silly lil yuri au teehee
TW: Manipulation, emotional/mental/physical abuse, murder of a spouse… though it has a happy-ish ending lol
An AU inspired by one of my favorite songs on the face of this floating rock in space. XD It doesn't start as a feel-good au but it becomes one I think . Also yuri so ❤️
Felicia (my genderbent Felix) and Osnia (my genderbent Oswald) were best friends throughout high school. Osnia had feelings for Felicia, but Felicia never noticed. Osnia never said anything for fear of Felicia either not liking women or simply not being interested in her, so when they graduated, the two ended up parting ways, though they never completely lost touch.
And years passed. Then Felicia met Tommy (my genderbent Kitty).
She fell deeply in love with the Toon she thought Tommy was. He was charming, polite, sassy, confident, and almost always a gentleman. He said he felt the same. After nine years of being together, they got married.
Then the abuse started, not even three weeks afterwards.
It was torture for Felicia to go back home everyday. She'd go to bed crying, or wanting to. She'd wear makeup, sunglasses, or sweaters to hide what he was doing to her. Acting was also obviously significantly difficult for her because of this.
One day, she'd had enough, and filed for divorce. She'd also filed a restraining order against Tommy, but he found a way around it, came to her home, and ended up getting her put in the ICU.
Osnia found out about it. She, who'd been wrestling with stresses and grievances of her own, immediately jumped on a plane and went to Felicia's aid. She was there with her for her entire recovery and refused to leave her side.
Felicia explained everything that happened, before, during, and after the marriage. Osnia, horrified and devastated, began talking things over with Felicia, and she and her old friend came to the decision
that Tommy had to die.
So, when Felicia recovered, she made Tommy and herself dinner one night. Meatballs, peas, and a small salad. The peas were laced with Zerex. It wasnt long before it kicked in, and Tommy went to lay down, never to wake up. She wrapped him in a tarp (after throwing gloves on, of course), and Osnia drove by her home to pick her up. The two girls dumped his body, tied to a secure box of weights, in a lake. The two girls enjoyed a picnic afterwards.
The two girls then get to bonding again after so long. After several months, Osnia's old feelings for her friend rekindle, and Felicia finds herself to feel the same, despite what Tommy put her through. She knows Osnia isn't him. She never was. She never will be. Osnia was always and is always there for her. That's something Tommy never did.
The two get together. The police visited to bring Tommy in, but after not finding him at home, they asked the couple to let them know if he shows up. He obviously never does.
It turns out Tommy was a missing Toon nobody missed at all.
The two girls have rebooted their acting careers, but now also run a part time daycare, and once in a while, a roadside stand. They never lose any sleep at night over Tommy. He had to die.
You either knew earl had to die or you just have wrong opinions
that kate and cj post where they're talking about killing doug westin has me thinking about kate/liz as maryanne and wanda from goodbye earl
Reject ai, embrace whatever the fuck this shit is
I walked out of Canadian tire this morning with nothing but a receipt and two shovels and I stg I probably looked like anyone named earl better watch their backs
What is your name?
Mary
Anne
Mary Anne
Wanda
Earl
My name does not appear in the 1999 bop Goodbye Earl by The Chicks
How about Goodbye Earl by the Chicks (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw7gNf_9njs)?
Actually pretty good! The percussion lands on beat and the 'na na na' from the chorus also line up pretty well towards it. Certainly memorable theming to the song.
But the intensity isn't there. You need a really punchy beat for good chest compressions, and the bpm of 123 is a bit too fast too.
6/10
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