#goodbyeoldme

[abideandblooom]

Letting Go to Let God In

There are things we must surrender:

The pain that once gave us identity

The people we thought we couldn’t live without

The wounds that shaped us

The version of ourselves that held on to anger, regret, and fear

I had to die to that girl — even if I loved her. She fought for herself. She wept silently. She carried burdens she wasn’t meant to bear.

But today, I let her go. So I could finally receive all that God has prepared for the new me.

[abideandblooom]

God is My Defender

One quote from Rosie Rivera’s book God is Your Defender struck me:

“God has His own calendar — not based on the world’s time, but His own divine timing.”

Then came this powerful verse:

Isaiah 63:4 “It was for me the day of vengeance; The year for me to redeem had come.”

It silenced my cries for payback. It reminded me that God sees everything. And in His time — not mine — He will make all things right.

[munchiecookiepanda]

I found some of my old art projects when I was still in high school. Me and my family are moving, so I'm gonna have to throw away some of my old arts and sketch books for more room, sadly. So, whatever art I post so far like this or old kiddish art is just for memory.

[takemetodisneyworld]

Lost....

I don't even know what to feel anymore. I just feel completely numb and lost. So many broken promises and so much disappointment in my life... Im starting to wonder, what did I ever do to deserve being treated this way? I really don't know how a happy pregnancy has instantly turned into such a shit show... It’s like everything that could possibly have gone wrong, or bad has literally happened to me. Like wtf have I done wrong to deserve this!? I really want to know! Im not shady, I'm not selfish, im not mean, nor am I a liar! If anything, I am the opposite to all of that! i guess it’s true what they say, nice guys always finish last.... Im just so tired of constantly feeling betrayed and hurt when all I do is put others before myself. Is this the universes’s way of punishing me for doing that? Maybe I should just become a bitch, become selfish and not give a fck about anyone's feelings and just fck with their feelings. Maybe then, I wouldn't constantly be feeling depressed and sorry for myself. 

You would think that if you treat others with kindness, that you would get the same back in return. Instead, it just makes you disappointed and confused as to why they aren't returning the gesture back. All my life I have constantly put others before me because when I care or love someone, I want them to have and live, a happy and easy life. it has been my way of showing them that I am in it until the end. But of course, I just get mentally abused and taken advantage of. Now I realise that it is my fault why I get treated the way I do. I am so forgiving and I just want to move forward with the person I love, that I constantly give them chances because I never want to lose what we have built. Little did I know that I was giving them permission to hurt me over and over again... This whole time I have allowed all these pricks to walk all over me and hurt me openly, all because I have never set any boundaries. I guess I will never learn unless I become a cold bitch. So cheers, and here’s to becoming a cold heartless bitch. Let’s see if I'll still be feeling depressed or if I'll be celebrating life.... For once...

[notmuchcreativerightnow]

Not Much Creative Right Now

As if I had to be, right? Everything in my life is like that, I guess. I have to be creative, funny, witty, clever, beautiful, awesome, determined, never grumpy-always smiley, and the list could go on and on forever. And honestly, I am tired of it. So this blog is to let that go, to stop trying to be perfect and start being me: not much creative, not much perfect, not much anything. Just me.  

[mother-first]

You never knew me anyway

I can feel the air fill my lungs

I stepped outside to feel the sunshine

The warmth on my skin is bliss

I forgot the way the clouds move

And the sound of the world, living

I feel a breakthrough

I can breathe

I see the beauty in all the things around me

Today is the day for growth

The day to let go of the weight of the world, and let go of you

My world is filled with so many beautiful things

My gorgeous children

My loving husband

My home is filled with the love that's been missing

It's time to invest my energy in to all the things living

Past relationships are dead or should've been long ago

I can breathe now that I've finally let go

Let go of the past and of the old me

Right now I finally feel free

Free from the shackles that were holding me down

The person who knows my soul to the core, will no longer be the one I ignore

Noone has known me for who I am now

The old me you're stuck on is down in the ground

She drowned one day and never came back

And I've invented myself with noone in sight

I've realized I trust in people that lack

And I've pushed away the one whose always had my back

Today I see the beauty around me

Goodbye all things of the past, I'm breaking free

[its-furi-o-sa]

Heads up! I’m changing the name of my cosplay social media. It’s been a few years, but I feel I have grown beyond the name, that I not so carefully chose for my online presence. It’s not just me building cosplay, I have a lot of support from @kylojen10, my partner, and sometimes my family. I’m so excited to change the name to include more humans! #namechange #goodbyeoldme #hellonewusername #yesimanaturalblue #chickswithundercuts #cosplay #cosplaygirl #everythingiscomingupmilhouse #comingthissaturday

[gtatransit-blog]

What do you do for a living? I plow the streets of Toronto for a living. They get plowed? These things are so cool when the drive down the street! #311 #toronto #hollycrest #hollycresthawks #newschool #suckitnorseman #goodbyenorseman #newlife #goodbyeoldme #hellonewme #thesix #missasagua #ontario #canada #northamerica #theworld #theearth (at Hollycrest Middle School)