#google questions

[tynithia]

You get pregnant?

[jonny-be-gewd]

Jon and David Tennant answer the Web's most searched questions for WIRED | May 2019

[gemsofgreece]

Sane answers to common google Greece questions by yours truly

Okay I was bored and decided to offer valuable knowledge, you're welcome

[idontknowreallywhy]

Err, RUDE.

[amekonocternia]

Oh uhh genuine but weird question has anybody else been getting 'fnaf' and 'fnaf movie' in their google suggestions for everything? like EVERYTHING. I've never googled anything about fnaf or the movie and it's getting suggested in the most odd places imaginable, this issue started yesterday and I genuinely can't believe there isn't some sort of explanation for this.

It's fucking weird and I have bouts of paranoia and it's starting to freak me out I haven't seen anyone else mention it and idk, I haven't watched anything fnaf related, nobody in the house is talking about fnaf, idk I don't like it

[neonvqmpire]

yeah google i ask myself these questions every day

[saucylance-blog]

ok google

what to do when you get the feels and you're like almost head over heels for a person because they make you just so happy and no one's made you like this for a long time

[swissnavy]

Top 5 “why” Google searches about sex... and their answers

In a world of sub par sexuality education and a cultural taboo around sex, an opportunity to anonymously search 5 billion pages of information in fractions of a second is truly a priceless gift. So it’s understandable that so many people turn to Google to ask questions about their sexuality and intimate relationship feelings that they might be too embarrassed to ask anyone else. Here are the top 5 worldwide sex and relationship related Google searches in the last 12 months that start with “why”.

1. Why don’t I orgasm?

See also: why can’t I come? Why can’t I orgasm- female? Why can’t I orgasm during intercourse? Why can’t I have an orgasim? [sic]

This is such a common question and concern, it’s no surprise the house is always packed whenever I offer Female Orgasm classes. The reasons why you might not be having orgasms are plentiful, but let’s quickly examine a few:

- Your clitoris is left out: Look, the clit is the shit, as I like to say. It’s where the orgasmic nerve endings are, and engaging in sexual activity that doesn’t directly, or at least consistently indirectly stimulate it is kind of like putting ear buds in your nostrils and then wondering why you can’t hear the music. Clitoris: learn it, love it.

- You’re not well acquainted with your genitals: Masturbation is the most reliable way for vulva-bearing people to have an orgasm. Consider practicing having orgasms on your own first. Rub different areas. Try different toys, different positions and techniques (with one finger, with a flat palm, grinding your hips, etc). Get ye a hand mirror and go exploring.

- You’re not aroused enough: Orgasm is just one stage on a multi-stage biological cycle. If you’re not aroused sufficiently (arousal being another one of the steps) it can be a lot more difficult to reach an orgasm. Techniques some people use to get aroused include fantasizing, reading erotic stories, watching pornography, and stimulating other erotic areas like the nipples, or having a partner stimulate those areas.

- You’re not using lube: Wetter is better! A dollop on the clitoris before touching can add sensuality, wetness, and arousal. A lubricant that additionally works to dilate the blood vessels for increased clitoral blood flow, like Swiss Navy Sensual Arousal, can be extra helpful. 

2. Why does my vagina smell?

First let me say that vaginas are supposed to have a smell.

It’s normal. IT’S NORMAL.

Why? Because the vagina is self cleaning and requires a particular pH and balanced ecosystem of good bacteria in order to keep itself clean and healthy. Even good bacteria metabolize an odiferous byproduct (note “odiferous” doesn’t mean “bad”.) the smells can change depending on the menstrual cycle and other hormonal changes, what you ate, medications, if there was something else recently in there (like semen), and sweat. All of this is fine.

Reasons why the vagina could have a different than usual smell that you may want to seek medical attention for include a yeast infection, STI, or a foreign body like a tampon or condom, has been stuck/forgotten.

3. Why don’t girls like me?

Like the answers before, it’s complicated, unique to different individuals, and has a million possible answers, but again, let’s examine a few possible reasons:

- For reasons that honestly have absolutely nothing to do with you. Some people just don’t like other people, and it doesn’t make either party inherently bad or unlovable, it’s just not a match. And that’s OK.

- The truth is, plenty of women would and could like you, but you’re not seeing it, for a variety of possible reasons, like.

       * It could be that your sample size is rather small, such as asking out and being declined by 5 women in your entire life and your brain extrapolating this to mean “noooo one will eveeeerrrr like me”.

       * It could be that you’ve limited your dating pool due to unrealistically high standards.

       * Maybe you’ve fallen prey to one of these online dating mistakes, like not being clear about what you’re looking for on your dating profile.

- It could be you’re a tool. Real talk: in my work as a sexologist, 95% of the time someone over the age of 20 has asked me about why women don’t like them, the question was immediately followed up with rage-filled comments about how this repeated rejection is starting to make them “hate women.” While it’s presented as their rejection led to the hate, my suspicion is that their hate led to the rejection. I mean, would you date someone who hated you? Try being introspective about entitlement. That pesky emotion is often at the center of this not-so-merry go round.  

4. Why do men cheat?

It’s complicated and there are many reasons. Seeing a theme? Research into trying to capture why humans of any gender do what they do, particularly around infidelity, have revealed what you might expect:

- It could be that the cheater is a narcissist, and doesn’t care about commitments, how others might be hurt, or getting caught.

- It could be that the person who cheated is a “nice person” but is lonely, emotionally unfulfilled, or bored with their relationship and are seeking connection and emotional validation.

- Sex. They want more sex. They want better sex. They want a variety of sex.

- Opportunity.

- They are exploring different sexual outlets the primary relationship doesn’t provide, perhaps such as kink, “polyamory*”, or same-sex/other-sex partnerships.

But none these answer the googler’s likely real question, which is “how could someone betray me.” That’s tougher to answer.

* Polyamory is consensual non-monogamy, in which all parties are aware of and agree to the open nature of the relationship. Betraying a monogamous partner is not polyamory, although I’ve heard people try to erroneously pass it off as experimenting with it, hence the quotation marks.  

5. Why does my heart feel so bad?

Well this question really gets you in the gut.

Your heart (metaphorically) feels so bad because human’s need to feel loved and accepted. Being rejected, dumped, or having someone not return love can really huuuuuuurt. It can also radically mess up your routine if this person was a big part of how you spent your day, and call into question what you had planned for your future, and maybe even your very identity if your relationship, family, or other object of your heartbreak was a major part of how you viewed your place in the world. As habit-forming, social acceptance seeking, plan-making, identity-holding animals, heartache really throws everything for a highly unpleasant loop.

Beyond the metaphorical, you may be hurting physically because the brain is a jerk and can interpret this emotional pain as physical pain. You may also feel nauseous and your muscles can tense and hurt due to stress hormones pumping and redirecting blood and oxygen as part of perpetual fight or flight response. So that’s why :(

(Finding a therapist or counselor to talk to can help. If you’re in crisis, you can call 1-800-273-8255)

Check  back next week for another Top 5 Friday!

Dr. Jill McDevitt is a nationally recognized, San Diego based sexuality educator, speaker, writer, and the resident sexologist at Swiss Navy. She has a BA in Sexuality, Marriage, and Family, MEd in Human Sexuality Education, and PhD in Human Sexuality, which means she is the only known person in the world with all three degrees in sex. It also means she has the coolest job ever!