The first few months after Regulus moved into the Potter house were rough.
He came from a house full of people who did not want him to truly be there. James understood; really, he did. But sometimes it got rough.
The first one was sudden. James doesn't even remember what he had said that day. He and Regulus were talking in the living room when Regulus went quiet. James looked over in concern, but whatever he said would go ignored.
The next few were all the same. James would say something or another - that he would later find nothing wrong with - and Regulus would go quiet, ignore him for the rest of the day. He got more confused with each one, but after hours of thinking them over and finding nothing, he'd push them at the back of his mind.
The one that made the first difference started all the same. James made a small mistake and he got ignored for the day. He was starting to get tired of these. Next day would be better and they would go back to pretending nothing happened, like always. Except it didn't.
The next day he was still being ignored. He tried to crack a joke, to talk about something he knew Regulus enjoyed as an attempt to get him to talk, but nothing. Just silence.
Same story for a three days, until he decided he couldn't ignore this anymore. He wanted to apologise for whatever he figured out the problem was. He knew there was something deeper, he just needed to find out what exactly it was, making Regulus so upset.
The conversation is a blur. - "Kick me out if you want." - He can't remember much more than crushing anxiety and confusion. - "You're just apologizing because you want something from me." - And a sour taste of realization. - "You're ignoring me every time I pass by you." - He can, however, perfectly remember that haunting tone Regulus used. - "I know you don't want me here, Potter." - Accusatory.
After the incident, Regulus didn't fully forgive him. He started to act more and more normal and they put it behind them, yes, but it was a constant clawing in James' chest. He thought about how each thing he said could be used against him by Regulus.
They started getting along better. They hung out more, were closer to each other, and Regulus talked more about important stuff. Started opening up, slowly but surely.
It's one of these conversations that opens the safe.
Regulus admits to things James is sure he couldn't even admit to himself until now, "I don't want to leave this place." He sounds small, unsure. As if James would actually have kicked him out.
They both realize the big misunderstanding this thing was, "I thought you hated me, so I tried to talk to you less and look cool. I really wanted to be close to you." Regulus speaks so softly, James thinks he probably didn't even want him to hear it.
"I wanted to be close to you the whole time. Never hated you, never could. I thought you hated me this whole time." James admits, and they laugh together about the situation.
Everything is normal. They're closer, way closer, and James doesn't worry about Reg thinking he hates him anymore.
Of course, nothing is ever this easy.
Reg does explode again. Raises his voice, tells James that "if you don't want me here, just say so", and goes to his room.
James knows what Regulus needs. He knows what's wrong. Yet theory was always easier than practice.
'Regulus is just insecure', James tells himself. He's lived this before, with Sirius. It was easier then, when they had already been close before living together. He knows he could ask Sirius for help, but he doesn't want to bother him. Can't bring himself to say it, anyway. Not his secret to tell.
He wonders if he can be the person he was for Sirius again, for Regulus. He's not sure. To be steady when someone keeps pushing away is no easy task.
He thinks he can try to push through, for Reg.
