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18k later and my vacation is over :( least I got a lot written and even went to see a concert (Dark Horizon tour w/ In this Moment, MiM)

#Vacations over #Got stuff Done #Concert 😀#Attendant 3 #Thiam

Yesterday I had a different kind of self care day (that’s actually probably better self care) where I woke up, took the dog on a car ride while I ran a few errands, and got a lot done-- while taking breaks and downtime as needed.

I got a breakfast treat and my favorite caffeinated beverage, and I went to an ATM to make a deposit I needed to make. I washed my clothes, and between loads I played Minecraft and watched a show I enjoy. I cleaned my bathroom while listening to my favorite drag queens. I washed towels and folded them while they were still all warm and fluffy. I fed my dog his favorite food, and made a nice hot meal for myself, and did the dishes when I was done. I changed my sheets and took out the trash and finished the day by taking a long hot shower (listening to a musical soundtrack I like) and tidying up my shower supplies. I brushed and flossed my teeth, folded my clothes, dried my hair, and went to sleep in a freshly made bed with hospital corners. I read until I fell asleep.

Sometimes, self care means “I can’t today”. And that’s ok! Sometimes, we all need days where we are free to just exist and do nothing, and I applaud that on occasion. That’s what last weekend was for me. I had a PMDD flare up that was less emotion, all pain. I woke up, took painkillers, got a heat source, and didn’t move for 14 hours. I watched all three extended edition Lord of the Rings in one sitting, and nothing else. But sometimes, self care means “I can today... so I will.” And I did!

#it speaks #self care #got stuff done #feel good

Haven't been around much the past few days because of an allergic reaction. Still don't know what it is. Maybe I'm allergic to confidence.

#Seriously #Was having a great week #Got stuff done #Got sleep #Great mood #Didn't eat weird things?#Was hardly outside?#No new products?

*has one good day*

Me: I think I’m getting better!

My brain: I think the fuck not!

#me #i was having such a good day #feeling p good friday about work and stuff #such a good day yesterday #got stuff done #felt happy????#and today im just back on my wanna die bullshit

Today, wasn’t too bad for effort.

- I slept in( rarely happens).

- I wondered through 1/3 of my day listening to ocean waves and just thinking about my past and what has formed “me” to this point. ( really loving the sounds from “MyNoise” app).

- Did my yoga and continued slowly building my interval body weight training again ( stupid knees!)

- Spent an hour or so writing. I’ve decided to re-write my life and memories of my past as if I’d been born a girl - have a few hrs into it. It’s weird, but I’ve never really dwelt on my past and really don’t have a lot of “memories”. The ones I do always seem to be remembered as if I was watching me ( not feeling them).

- made choc/date/almond energy bites and then later supper.

- petted our miniature poodle a lot (spouse calls her my therapy dog and I suspect she is right... but she had a standard rabies shot yesterday and needed the petting too I suspect)

Not much else - but that was better than usual.

#not a bad day #got stuff done #personal thoughts