is that a half alive reference in your bio?
YES! YES IT IS!
Thank you so much for asking me this I love this question! And you! I love half•alive, and creature is my favorite song in the whole entire world, and now I'm going to talk about it thanks for activating my gush-over-things-I-love mode :D
I love this verse. Well, I love every single vowel in this song but that's beside the point. Just mentally insert 'I love this verse' for each paragraph here please. I love the childlike wonder in wanting to discover who we are and what our purpose is. We already have a pretty good idea, we've figured a lot out about ourselves, but there's still so much more to see and discover and come to terms with, because we are complex beings. So complex in fact, that we will never know every part of ourselves objectively, which is why which is why we need someone all-knowing and all-powerful with faith infallible, with wisdom and justice and gentleness to look inside of us and judge us for exactly who we are.
And here, from the good but still limited perspective, he simply states that he's flawed! He's worn! The world is in a fallen state, we've all been blighted by the sin in the world, that tears and wears and corrupts our souls and flesh and blurs the image of who we truly are. And because of that, he is going to trust the Artist molding him and who he is, Jesus, who is higher than us and knows us, knows what's best for us, and always has our best interests in mind. He is the creator, and we are the creation, the Creature.
Then we have the ~chorus~ (I could cry its so beautiful) I am haunted and flawed both by the fallen nature of the world and by my own flesh, and marred. And I am holy and created by God, made in glory, as He chose to create me in my mother's womb, still a configuration of cells, every bit of me, I am intentional and set apart by Him, fearfully and wonderfully made. And even though life is dark and hard, and it is guaranteed that I will face incredibly difficult challenges that would break me if not for Christ, He will lead me through the valley of the shadow of death, and while it might be dark and scary, and I'm blinded what He's doing and what's going on, I will not be blinded to Him and His glory, which are ever present and ever faithful to us.
The heart is perilous. It's selfish. It wants its own ways and whims and to choose darkness. But its been twisted to be that way by our fallen nature, since the Garden when humanity chose that path. It used to be beautiful and pure and lovely, and in a sense, it still is. There is a duality, it reflects both natures. Our hearts reflect both the perfection and loveliness of the Artist, and the danger and imperfection of humanity's fallen state. We as the Creature are torn between these two things from the Fall.
Our world is dark, and it's only getting darker. But we are called to shine the light of Christ in the darkness, to be a light in dark places when all other lights go out, and to show our relationship with God to the world boldly, since we are not ashamed of the Gospel. And the world feels that. The human heart longs for Eden, longs for peace, longs for a Creator, longs for a loving Father, for a perfect world. We are called to show that Jesus is that answer to that.
We are growing through and because of Christ, always. If you are a Christian, every breath you take should be in pursuit of becoming more like and following Him. Our flesh is naturally inclined to fight to see when it's unclear because our brains and flesh are constantly yammering for knowledge, not caring if it's good or ill. But instead God tells us to be still and to put our peace and assurance in Him instead. He's got this. Our flesh and spirit are at war with each other, the haunted and holy at odds, Jesus reaching to save us from the grasp of the Devil, and He did so by dying and rising again, and bringing new life through his ultimate sacrifice. Because of this we are a sacred note in His symphony, masterfully crafted as a part of His plan, to bring hope to others and glorify God. God took dirt and created Adam, and He's created us for His purpose as well, which we can take assurance and rest and comfort in. We also take comfort and hope in looking forward to when Jesus will return and create a new heaven and a new earth, where life will grow abundantly and death will be defeated and the time for our natures to be torn between haunted and holy will be over, and we can fully have both our soul and our new physical bodies that He will craft for us utterly at His service for our good and His glory. Jesus Christ will throw Satan into the lake of fire, crushing the Evil Prince of this world with His heel, and rule the heavens and the earth, like He already rules our hearts, and will expose both the world's and our own darkness and evil, and He will win against it, making us into new creations through Him, and we will get to walk in the light of His glory and rejoice with Him forever. We have wonder in this redemption, and in the beauty of Jesus discovering us in ways we can never discover ourselves, and there are so many mysteries in life, but all of it points back to God, through us as the creature.
You bet it does.
We don't have to suffer from the darkness in our hearts, we get to turn to the Artist for peace, and are gifted to rest in that as His creature. The darkness isn't our motivation for understanding ourselves and the world, our motivation is the peace that comes from knowing we are created by a perfect God, who, when we put our faith in Him, redeems us, and for the rest of our lives and until we die and are given new bodies, will continue to do so and make us more like Him. Understanding our hearts and the mysteries of God is an exploration with childlike wonder of who He has made us each to be, rather than just trying to understand what drives us and our emotions and moods and feelings and flaws. We get to look beyond our circumstances, we have an innate desire to know our Creator. This song has so much hope and wonder in it, acknowledging the darkness as real and present and active, while clinging to Christ through it all. We get to dive into the mysteries of life and creation, knowing that we are loved and have purpose through Him. We don't fully understand. And we will never have to. We are called to seek His face, and we can trust that the answers we seek are the ones that promise new life.
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So! Back to my bio. 'I am creation both haunted and holy' I've been created by Christ, and am a creature. I'm haunted by the fallen world and my sinful flesh. And I'm holy because I've been justified by Grace alone, through Faith alone, in Christ alone. God looked inside of this mess and made a declaration about my state. In my sin and in my flesh, I am a terrible sinner. Nothing good about my by myself. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Any time I've ever tried to do anything without Him it's turned out for the worst.
BUT GOD (probably by favorite phrase in the entire Bible) gave over all of that sin and sickness to Jesus, who through His death on the cross has redeemed it and made me righteous and holy in God's sight. Not because of something that I did, but because of what Jesus did, and God transfers us the righteousness of Jesus to us when we put our faith in Him. And being justified by faith alone does not mean I'm saved because I have faith, but rather that faith is the means that I cling to Christ. I'm saved through the grace of God. And it's in Christ alone because we can't ever become righteous by ourselves ever, even if we had the rest of our lives to, we NEED Jesus to intercede for us. We are both sinners and righteous because of Jesus, both haunted and holy, made in glory. But then when we have faith to cling to, it utterly changes our lives and our hearts, and pushes us to do good works through, for, and because of Him, from now until the end of time.
That line, 'I am creation both haunted and holy' is the entire Gospel message in a single sentence. It's masterfully written. I thank the Artist for it.
This song is so beautiful. And I just took a crack at the lyrics, the instrumentals and Josh's vocals are insanely incredible. Max headphone greatness for this song. And every version of it is utterly lovely. But the orchestral one from In Florescence is my favorite. Sounds like a hymnal arrangement being played in a cathedral.
