#grass sniffer

[grass-sniffer]

Why do you like grass so much

its just who i am bro. grass is my life

[grass-sniffer]

the morning dew is settling in drops upon the thin green blades as i casually stroll through the park, my eyes scanning for the best patch to settle into for today. as im scanning, my eyes fall upon a perfectly green, beautiful patch of grass. the small, vibrant green blades twinkled in the rising sun as the condensation of the morning air forms small droplets of water upon the plants. it seems as though time around me has stopped moving. i am focused solely on this magnificent spot of perfectly cut, green smelling plants. i can smell its wonderful essence all the way from across the park. it seems as though a patch of sunlight is shining directly onto it, breaking under the canopy of trees. i need to give it a smell. i make a mad dash over to the small patch, immediately getting on my knees and sticking my head straight down onto the individual blades, snorting and sniffing wildly. the drops of water get sucked up my nostrils, stinging and adding a new feeling to this experience. the grass smells wonderful. its the best ive ever had before. and ive sniffed a lot of grass in my lifetime. its almost as if im watching myself desperately snorting at the green plants from the third person. an out of body experience. mothers with their carriages walking past me glance at me as if im crazy, ushering their children in the opposite direction from me. clearly they havent been enlightened by the magic of natures best fragrance. i feel the water soaking through my jeans, but i dont care. all i want right now is more of that sweet sweet grassy flavour. im violently digging my face into the ground, rapidly inhaling as much of the flavour as i can, unable to be stopped. i have lost control over myself. as soon as my sniffing rampage started, it ended. i realize what im doing is shameful. i should collect the grass from the root to keep it safely in the comfort of my own home, not in nature where it can get easily mowed over! i dig my hands into the ground, and pull out each individual plant by the root. by now my entire face has green smears all over it, courtesy of the dew spreading the pigment of the godly plant. i grab as many as i can and shove them into my pockets and run as fast as i can, back to home, back to safety, where i can store my beautiful beautiful grass. my grass. my grass. my grass. mine.

[grass-sniffer]

*Gently caresses grass right in front of you*

Get your greasy grimey dirty little grippers off of MY FUCKING LAWN YOURE INFECTING THE SCENT OF MY GRASS WITH YOUR DISTGUSTING LITTLE OILY FINGERS

[grass-sniffer]

You little grass slut

oh but i am an absolute slut for grass. if i could choose to do one thing in life it would be sniff those delicate little green blades. grass is what keeps me going in life. grass is the reason i exist. i love to dig my face into the dirt and snort as much of that toe-curling scent as i can. grass is love. grass is life.