#graypl

[apl-culture-is]

Greyplatonic culture is struggling to form friendships despite the desire to, and when you have the opportunity, you dont feel a strong enough connection but they do, and as a mentally ill and disabled person I have no energy to maintain that relationship 🥲 Apl struggles as usual

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[arrtypo]

Qprs from an aplatonic perspective

I actually think I wouldn't mind being in a qpr sort of situation. The problem is the widespread notion that it's a 'strong, platonic committed relationship/life partnership that isn't just friendship'.

I get that invalidation has caused qprs to be defined as such. But that definition alienates me as an aplatonic aro. I struggle with commitment, intimacy and that 'pull' to others even on a 'just friendship' level.

Qprs were coined to be customisable for any aro - from what I gathered, qprs are simply committed non-romantic relationships. They're defined in that very non-romo aro sense.

Yeah, they can involve platonism, but wouldn't the 'non-romantic' part of the definition already imply that, without excluding aplatonism and even considerarion of other attraction types e.g. sexual, emotional, sensual?

(I guess it's easier to conceptualize qprs as platonic-centered. Not for me, though. I can barely conceptualise 'just' platonic attraction.)

I think I would like a committed relationship in the future, and maybe I'll want a label for that too. If so, I wouldn't consider qpr. As it stands the term is entrenched in ideas of strong platonic love and intimacy. For a term that's supposed to be customisable, that's what it's zeroed on.

Maybe I'm wrong and there are qprs out there that aren't like this, that are more in line with my ideal. Still, I feel that the term and the widespread culture around it naturally erases my aplatonism.

Even as I say that, I don't really have anything to suggest to... work on it.

There's no need to replace qpr as a term because it's useful for others. I don't think a qpr culture shift to include aplatonics (or just me) is wanted either. Nor do I think this post of mine would really matter to the aro community.

My aplatonism doesn't mean I can't want platonic relationships, even committed ones. Yes, there are apls who don't desire that, and that's cool. Everybody has their own takes on what commitment and intimacy means to them. It all depends.

[apl-culture-is]

Greyapl, disinterested and in-school culture is:

- My entire school experience changing after I grew up and discovered my identity. Around 8th grade I underwent a major shifting of places and school life hasn't been the same since. Till then I used to have many non-platonic friends throughout school but now I just find it incredibly hard to connect with the people around me and tend to move away from any sort of deep rooted friendships, just acquaintances (even that not many, cause I'm also very introverted and majorly unbothered).

- Enjoying the relative seriousness/maturity highschool has brought so I can just do my thing without attracting weird attention.

- Doing a semi nod at the first question people ask me @changing schools; 'did you make friends?' cause I definitely can't say 'I'm not interested in making friends as of now' without attracting unwanted concern.

- "I don't remember myself being this way ever so it's dissociative" - but also - "this is the actual me and I've just got way too much to unlearn".

- Making long apl culture posts like this one out of desperation.

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[apl-culture-is]

Greylithromantic and grey platonic culture is thinking people are to obsessed with romantic AND platonic relationships, and not feeling comfortable in allo and aro spaces.

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[apl-culture-is]

apl-spec (for me specifically frayplatonic and grayplatonic, but this applies to other apl-spec identities too) is realizing that you're apl-spec because you have those rare instances of platonic attraction to compare your typical feelings towards your friends to.

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[tastethea-bow]

We have AplAroAce, but do we have something like Grayplrose? GrayAAA?