The best way to handle someone who is manipulative is to become as boring and neutral as a gray rock... In an ideal world, once you recognize a person in your life engages in deceitful behavior, then you diminish your contact with them safely. If necessary, you end the relationship and walk away. Sometimes this strategy is not feasible. You may need to coparent with them or see them in settings like family gatherings or work. This is where going gray rock can come in handy. With this tool, you can learn how to be present with this person without allowing them to manipulate you. - Give Them Nothing. The more information about yourself that you give to a deceitful person, the more they can distort this information and use it to try to diminish and discredit you. The easiest way to stop this behavior is to just not give them anything. When they pepper you with questions, simply issue a vague reply using no facial expressions. A simple “uh-huh” will often suffice. If you need to give an answer, simply say “yes,” “no,” or “I don’t know” without offering any additional information. - Keep Interactions Short. Limit communication to the issue at hand, such as the date that a particular project is due. When possible, communicate via phone or electronically to avoid prolonged conversations. - Disconnect and Don’t Engage. Avoid establishing the emotional connection that comes from looking into someone’s eyes. Diverting your eyes elsewhere removes any emotions from your brief interaction with this person. Also, by looking elsewhere, you are less likely to get triggered emotionally should they make a disparaging comment about you. Another tactic is to focus inward and think about a pleasant memory while they are talking to you. - Keep Going Gray Rock to Yourself. Telling a manipulative person that you are using this technique on them will only give them ammunition they can and will use against you. You don’t owe them any explanation regarding why you choose not to engage with them. - Be Mindful of the Risks of Going Gray Rock. Gray rock is not recommended when confronting those who engage in physical abuse. In those instances, seek out professional help. #grayrock https://www.instagram.com/p/CokQ-DUrjdY/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
