Summary: You need a boyfriend for Christmas. So, your best friend Steve Harrington agrees to fake it with you only to help get your parents off your back after a string of failed relationships.
The rules are simple: no sharing a bed, no kissing , and no catching feelings.
Until they’re not.
tags: MDNI [smut] [lots of it lol] [fake dating for christmas] [best friends to lovers] [college students] [found family] [modern day au] [smut] [porn with plot] [mentions of family problems] [sex bets] [tension] [angst with happy ending] [there was only one bed] [steve's a sweetheart] [but with a big cock]
🂱 read on ao3
chapter one - no big deal
chapter two - not yours
chapter three - just once
chapter four - snowed in
chapter five - between friends
chapter six - losing me
chapter seven - another chance
chapter eight - good thing
chapter nine - kissing clause
epilogue coming soon
✻ see the family tree chart
⋆. 𐙚˚࿔ please comment below if you want to be added to this story's taglist 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
listen. i just discovered we are now mutuals on tumblr and i screamed. just wanted to say your work…is incredible. i actually have no words. I See Fire is a literal work of art. ALL your work is.
I fucking love your mind, and your show of endless imagination makes me so inspired. I see all the work you put into your writing and THANK YOU for sharing it!!!! it’s truly incredible. 🥂
oh my gosh WHAT?! 🤍
this made my entire week, this just makes me the happiest girlie alive :,) i just found your work on my feed && plan to give into your magical writing world so so so much more.
please know: you’ve already made an eternal fangirl out of me :) thank you x9999 for reading I SEE FIRE, I’m actually tearing up rn because that fever dream fic series of mine has become such an addiction to write && i wasn’t sure if it would resonate with others too. so this just boosted my lil heart more thank you know xxx
Chapter Three - A Kiss
An academic rivals to lovers story
Or: {potions class just got a whole lot more interesting}
3.5k words | go to landing page
Just walk inside.
You’ve been standing outside the Potions classroom for ten minutes now, shifting your books from one arm to the other and stepping aside as students brush past to find their seats. So much for your streak of always being early.
Something about this feels…too easy. There’s no way Malfoy would let the past years of competition boil down to one single potion. It’s a lot of pressure for him, and he doesn’t like pressure. He prefers to snake around the rules, make up his own, and then ridicule you for going by the book.
He’s not clever like he thinks he is; he’s a cheat. And you know it. Still, you agreed to it yesterday after Divination, so you’re going to follow through.
You just have to win.
Steeling yourself, you take a deep breath and reach for the doorknob — but a large palm shoots out from over your shoulder, slamming the door shut again. You jump back, startled, then whip around to glare at the culprit.
“I was thinking, Snitch,” Draco muses, “this feels a little anticlimactic, don’t you agree?”
You arch a brow. “If you’d rather lose in a more spectacular way, I’m all ears.”
Another student nudges by and he moves his hand from the door to the doorframe behind you, his lean, muscled body effectively pinning you in. You can’t help but notice the way his lips tug into a smirk on one corner as he tilts his head — and you jolt, realizing you were quite literally staring at his mouth.
“What do you say we…raise the stakes a little?” He murmurs, keeping his voice even, but his eyes spark with mischief. He has a plan.
Shit. You knew this was too easy. “What exactly are you suggesting?”
“Oh, nothing much.” A lock of blond hair falls over his forehead and you have the most ridiculous urge to brush it back. Or, pull it. But that would bring his face closer, and it’s too close as it is. Oh, but he smells so good. Does he wear a cologne? Why does he always smell so fucking good?
“I propose,” he continues, “whoever loses, has to perform one action of the winner’s choosing.” Your heart thumps against your breastbone. His voice has this…edge to it. A sort of grit you haven’t heard before.
“What kinds of actions?” Your voice comes out breathy and you clear your throat.
He nods to a Slytherin student brushing past you into the classroom but doesn’t move away, clearly comfortable with being seen pinning you to the wall.
You squirm, trying to duck out from under his arm, but he bends his elbow, keeping you locked in.
“Nothing that would get you in trouble, Snitch. We all know how much you love the rules.”
You look up at him, surprised. He already has something in mind. Merlin’s beard, what is it? Whatever it is, it certainly doesn’t bode well for you.
But if you win…you could make him do anything.
Theodore Nott still hasn’t answered your note. Not that you really expected him to within twenty-four hours or anything, but you’ve been replaying everything you wrote nonstop, analyzing your word choices and hoping you didn’t accidentally offend him. Draco and Theo are close friends so, if you win — when you win— you could make Draco put in a good word for you.
That’s how it works, right? When you ask someone out, their friend’s opinion can nudge them in a certain direction. Surely, Draco’s said more than a few negative things about you to Theo over the years. Having to convince his best friend to go out with his rival would sting Malfoy’s ego and might be exactly what Theo needs to hear.
He must notice the moment you decide, because his mouth twitches into a smirk and his eyes crinkle at the corners.
“It’s a bet.”
One second, he’s a breath away, the next, you’re standing alone outside the classroom, officially making you the last student to enter. You close the door quietly and slip into your seat in the front left, swearing under your breath.
Since the potions classroom is underground, there are no windows, only torchlight that flickers off the low stone ceiling. It’s dimmer than usual today.
“Ah, there you are, I was beginning to worry!” Professor Slughorn greets you, continuing down the line with cheerful pleasantries. He’s always been fond of his first-row students.
Once he’s finished with those select few — and even goes so far as to hand out chocolate pineapple bits — he finally steps back and announces to the class, “Today, we’ll be brewing the tricky, but useful potion, Dreamless Sleep.”
He moves behind his desk, cluttered with haphazardly scribbled scrolls and delicate collections of unique concoctions.
“I took the liberty of collecting your ingredients today, yes, some of them can be quite volatile in nature, so I thought it best.”
With the snap of his fingers, a collection of vials, bowls, and flasks in various colors and sizes appear on your desk beside your cauldron. Usually, you all fetch your own ingredients from the next room over, and measure them for the exact proportions, but apparently not today.
“Professor?” Luna’a lilting voice carries through the chamber from a few rows back. “Is that…moonlight, I smell? Such a unique scent.”
“Ah! Lovegood,” Slughorn’s wrinkled face lights up, “Moonstone — to be exact! A powerful ingredient. Very powerful, indeed. The Dreamless Sleeppotion has been used for centuries to invoke a calm and restless slumber. Particularly useful in the infirmary. However,” he raises a crooked finger in warning, “If brewed incorrectly, it can render you unconscious for weeks! Or, produce a sleep with nightmares so intense, they’re rumored to leave you raving mad upon awakening. Disastrous, should you get it wrong, you see.”
The room fills with the soft clinking of bottles and rustle of paper as students sort through their new supplies.
“Now,” Slughorn continues, “You have one hour to brew an acceptable Dreamless Sleep. Page seventy-eight in your books. Ah, and do be careful with the Mist, harvested just this morning, it’s a bit prone to escaping today. What with the weather and all, you see.”
You pick up the teardrop shaped vial labeled Moonstone. The powder shifts inside like thick sand. You’ve only worked with it once before, and you remember it being more of a blueish silver. It must just be a trick of the dim lights making it look milky pink today. Or, like Slughorn said, sometimes potion ingredients can shift color, texture, or even behavior with the weather changes. There’s a cold snap coming, rumored to blanket the school in at least a foot of snow.
You dare a glance back at Malfoy in the second row to the right. He’s already looking at you. His mouth tilts into a that infuriating smirk before he raises his eyes towards the front of the class.
“Professor?” he calls, and your blood runs cold. What is he about to do?
“Ah, Malfoy. What is it?” Slughorn asks, polite but wary. He’s never been particularly fond of Draco, but even he can’t deny the power of the Malfoy name, so he’s always respectful. That, and his excellent grades in his class certainly don’t hurt. Every year, Draco receives an invitation to Slughorn’s Christmas Party. He hasn’t been to one, yet.
“We got a bit of a—” Malfoy gestures towards you, “— friendly wager on today’s lesson. Would you mind declaring the winner at the end? Unless, of course, it’s obvious.”
Your blood boils and you return Draco’s look of false modesty with a piercing glare.
Slughorn looks between the two of you, then shrugs. “I have been known to reward my students with a little magical incentive — Harry Potter won a small vial of Felix Felicis once, in my class, you might recall — yes, a little healthy competition never hurts. Now, good luck to you all. And let the brewing commence!”
For the first half of the hour, your potion is just right. The ingredients are tricky, especially the Mist. Poor Ernie, who sits a few seats behind you, didn’t read the recipe properly and uncorked his vial fully instead of halfway, attempting to pour it instead of using the dropper. Slowly, the room begins to carry a thin, wet haze that clings to your robes and lashes.
The silverweed is the hardest bit, but once you manage to strip the seeds from inside the wriggling husk, it’s manageable. You toss eight lavender petals into your cauldron, stirring diligently between each one, until it deepens into a stunning lilac hue.
Now, for the moonstone. The final ingredient.
You read and reread your recipe several times until you are sure you understand it perfectly. You don’t risk a glance back at Draco to see how he’s fairing because he might try to get in your head. Especially because you’re beginning to think you might win. Your potion is silky and smooth, soft waves lapping up the edges of your cauldron like a peaceful lake.
You go through the steps in your head; uncork the moonstone vial carefully, don’t touch the powder because it stains. Measure it precisely. Sprinkle it in while stirring clockwise to mimic the cycle of the moon. Then, the ripples should settle into a calm, silvery sheen.
You take a deep breath and uncork the vial, measure, and pour slowly, stirring all the while. The potion grows calmer with each stir and a thrill runs through you. You did it. You actually won, you…
But something’s wrong.
The calm surface starts gathering in the middle, spinning counterclockwise. What? No. That isn’t supposed to happen!
You drop your utensil and frantically shove your nose into the recipe. Did you miss something? Your cauldron starts to shiver, then clatter precariously on its stand.
No! You followed the instructions, wha—
Poof!
A pink cloud explodes from your cauldron, covering your face, hair, and robes in shimmering dust. What just happened?
You look up, stunned, as Professor Slughorn rushes over.
“Oh, dear. Now, how did you do that? Let us see.” He plucks the moonstone vial off your desk and holds it to his eye. “Ah, I see the problem. This, in fact, is not moonstone powder. It’s powdered quartz! Completely harmless, you see. No harm, no foul. They do look similar, though, don’t they?”
You swipe at your face with your sleeve, which comes back glittering with pearlescent pink dust. Great. Just great. Moonstone powder got switched for quartz, huh? Wonder who did that…
You whip around and stare daggers at Malfoy, who’s laughing quietly to himself as he diligently stirs his potion. The nearby students snicker behind their hands, and you can only imagine what you look like.
“Your potion is brewed well, and would still induce slumber,” Slughorn continues, “however powdered quartz — while similar to moonstone — creates a entirely different type of dream. It’s an ingredient in Amortentia, the most powerful love potion. So, I’m afraid the poor soul who drank this would be haunted by dreams of a…well,” he glances around the room, lowering his voice “— a most inappropriate nature.”
More snickers ripple through the class, and your face burns. Of all the side effects it could have, why did it have to be that? Thank Merlin Theodore isn’t in this class or you’d practically die of embarrassment.
“I’m afraid Malfoy wins this round, but, not to worry!” He pats your desk. “You may retake this lesson since I organized the ingredients today. I am sorry about the mixup. It was coming along rather nicely until then, wasn’t it?”
A sudden motion to your left catches your attention as a scroll whizzes through the air, and promptly unfurls right in front of Slughorn’s face.
Startled, he adjusts his glasses and grabs it, scanning the words quickly. “I’m terribly sorry, class.” he says, “but it seems—” he scans the scroll once again as if to be sure, “— yes, Professor Sprout is in need of my expertise. You see, there seems to be a rare flowering Valerian variant withering rapidly that requires immediate assistance...”
“Professor,” Draco interrupts smoothly, “Don’t Valerians stabilize under a sprinkle of moonstone, on occasion?”
“Yes, Malfoy!” Slughorn exclaims, “Of course! Let me just run some down to her, or I’ll find a first year to do it. Ten points to Slytherin.” He snatches a vial from his desk and hurries toward the door, robes billowing behind him.
Draco looks downright gleeful and then it hits you. There’s no Valerian variant. He’s playing a trick to get Slughorn out of the classroom. Praying on his infatuation with rare plants as well as his desire to be recognized as important. It’s smart, you have to hand it to him.
“Just…keep following the recipe,” the professor calls over his shoulder, “I won’t be a minute.”
You whip around just in time to see him open the door. “Professor, I don’t th—” you start, but it’s too late. He’s gone.
The classroom’s quiet, all eyes on the door.
“Well, that was odd.” Seamus mutters, “why d’ya think he ran off like that?”
Romilda shrugs, stirring her potion. “I think he’s sweet on Sprout. Has been for awhile, I’ll bet.”
Someone starts to respond to Romilda, but as you lock eyes with Draco, you hear nothing else of the conversation. He actually thinks he won. That’s preposterous. He didn’t win, he cheated. You don’t know how, and you don’t have proof, but you simply refuse to accept defeat by a cheater.
“Nice going, Snitch,” Malfoy laughs, pointing his wand in your direction. “Making a sex potion. Then again, sounds like you might need something like that.”
You freeze. You thought maybe the specific choice of ingredient swap was a coincidence, but here he is, gloating. Does he know? How could he possibly? Did Theo tell him? Surely not. But then, why act like this if he doesn’t?
You raise your wand. “You cheated, Malfoy, and you know it.”
He shakes his head. “There were no rules against cheating.”
“There’s always rules against cheating!” you shriek. The outburst draws every eye in the room, and you grimace at Draco’s satisfied smirk. Every move you make shakes more glitter dust to the floor, and you’re becoming exasperated.
He wants you this way. He wants you to scream at him, to fling glitter everywhere. He wants you embarrassed. Don’t give him that. He doesn’t get to think he has that kind of hold over you. You lower your wand and point it toward your own robes.
“Tergeo,” you say softly, flicking it once.
The pink dust lifts from your hair and robes, tickling your skin as it gathers together and dissipates into a harmless puff.
Calmly, you square your shoulders and meet Malfoy’s green eyes. “The bet is off.”
He shrugs, leaning a hip against his desk, arms folded. “Sorry. Can’t get out of it that easy. But, you caught me in a generous mood, so I’ll raise you another bet. Prove who really is the best once and for all.”
A dainty hand rises into the air and Malfoy looks bewildered for a second, then gestures toward Luna with mock courtesy.
“So, you’ll stop hating each other after, then?” She asks.
He lets out a sharp laugh. “No, Lovegood. I’ll always hate the Snitch. Whether she wins or loses.”
You scoff. “The feeling’s mutual.”
Luna gives you a look — one that seems to see straight through you — then nods like she suddenly understands something and turns back to her cauldron.
You return your attention to the snake across the room. “I have no interest in playing any more games with you, Malfoy,” you snap. “If you want a real fight, I’ll give you one.”
“That’s the spirit. Another bet, then. I’ll even let you pick the class.” Draco smiles and it’s downright devilish. And lovely. Why does it have to be lovely? God, he’s annoying. “But you heard Slughorn, I won today. So, you have to pay up.”
“Fine! What? What do you want me to do? What could you possibly want?” You can feel yourself getting worked up again. Fuck. He knows how to get on your last nerve like no one else.
“A kiss.”
And there it is. There’s the catch. His eyes gleam in the light of the many moonlit cauldrons, and in that moment, you realize — he knows. How the fuck does he know?
Ginny wouldn’t have told him, and that’s the only other person who knows.
Murmurs sweep through the class. Looks are exchanged across seats, and eyes flick back and forth between you and your arch nemesis who has just propositioned you to kiss him.
Oh, but his intentions are anything but romantic. They have to be. He’s looking at you like a snake right before it strikes — eyes sharp and hypnotic, daring you to move just an inch so he can sink his fangs in and drain the life from you.
You don’t budge.
“You know,” he continues, gesturing lazily around the room, “there’ve been some rumors of your…inexperience in that area. I think I’d like to see for myself.”
What? See, this is exactly how he wins with you. Distractions. He’s so damn good at those.
But you know your weapon when it comes to him, too. Anger. If you can make him angry, make him lose control…
What would anger Draco the most right now?
If his plan doesn’t work. If it fails to have the intended effect on you, and he’s the one that looks stupid. That’s his weakness.
“Or,” he adds with a shrug, “you can just give up now, if you’re too embarrassed. You can walk out, no one’s stopping you. But then, of course, according to our bet, I’d win.”
“I’m not embarrassed,” you retort.
“Oh, yeah? Prove it, then.”
Wait. Backtrack. Your stomach swoops as you look out over all the eyes of your peers on you. What’s the spell for conjuring a hole beneath you to fall through?
Make him angry. How do you make him angry?
You could kiss him.
He thinks you won’t. Look at him, smirking at his Slytherin buddies in the back row. They don’t think you’ll do it either. He orchestrated this entire thing — the quartz dust, the scroll from Sprout, searching out a secret about you…he planned this because he thinks he knows you.
He knows that you’ll fail.
But he doesn’t know the first thing about you. Make him fail. Because you’re not going to.
You move before you even really realize it, stepping between the rows of desks between you and heading straight for him. His attention shifts back to you and you see the second he realizes you’re going to do it. His gaze flickers to something almost…hungry.
Then you’re in front of him, and there’s too much momentum to stop and think about what you’re about to do. Your hand shoots up of its own accord, grabs the back of his neck, and pulls his mouth down to meet yours.
His lips are soft. That’s your first thought. The second is…damn.
There’s a few whoops and hollers from your classmates but they sound distant, like echoes through water. Because Malfoy’s kissing you back. His mouth slants over yours and when his hot tongue brushes your lips, your knees wobble. His hand finds your waist, steadying you. Your fingers curl into his platinum hair, earning a stifled groan from him. Sparks explode behind your closed lids and the your head spins with the knowledge that this is happening.
You’re moving together, lips meeting, gliding, and parting again in a rhythm that feels made for the both of you, so intertwined that you don’t know where your breath ends and his begin. It’s hot and hungry, and…wrong. But in a way that feels so, so fucking right. And—
A door slams, yanking you back to the present. You jolt apart, gasping.
“Merlin’s beard! I leave you all alone for three minutes!” Slughorn’s voice sounds across the room. “Back to your seats!”
Draco looks…you don’t know the right words for it. Flustered? It’s hard to say since you’ve never seen Draco Malfoy flustered before. His tie is askew, hair mussed, chest heaving…oh, Merlin, he’s hot. He just looks hot.
“I —” you squeak, “It’s a bet. Defense Against The Dark Arts.”
Then, you turn and hurry back to your seat, head down, heart pounding. No. No, this can’t be happening. You can’t be thinking this about him. Not him.
He’s everything you don’t want.
You sink into your chair, trying to appear calm, but your pulse is racing and the air feels stifling. The lingering Mist curls around you, crawling up your nose and constricting your chest.
Remember what you want. Calm, steady, kind, capable. That’s what you want.
It doesn’t matter if that was your first kiss. If you kiss the next fifty guys you meet — you don’t catch feelings from a kiss.
You just…don’t.
You can’t. Just stick to the plan.
Because if you don't, you might just lose everything you’ve worked so hard for.
a/n: thanks for reading!! If you want to be added to the tag list, just comment or message me! reblogs and likes are always appreciated. love you all!
go to landing page ✧ read next chapter ✧ read on ao3
Chapter Two - The Plan
An academic rivals to lovers story
Or: {In which Draco finds your journal and devises a scheme to take you down}
1.7k words | go to landing page ✧ CW: sexual themes, talk of sex, MDNI
DRACO
“Just let me read it, Nott.”
”No,” he replies evenly.
"Fine," I mutter. "Tell me what it says then.”
“I said no.”
An incredulous snort escapes me. “Why? You don’t even like her.”
“I never said that,” he counters, tipping his head in my direction.
Our steps echo off the stone as we round the corner to the Slytherin common rooms.
“What? You think she’s cute or something? You’re— like— sweet on her?” I spit out the word like it offends me. It does, come to think of it.
The Snitch is anything but sweet. There is no one more infuriating to me than her.
And that’s saying something.
She’s obviously obsessed with me — always glaring, constantly trying to one-up me.
Theo just shrugs and now I’m officially annoyed. He’s one of my closest friends, and not much gets under his skin. But this behavior right here? Keeping secrets when it comes to…her?
He's going to have to cut that shit out.
I speak the password and the portrait slides aside. “She’s not your type, Theo.”
“Look, Malfoy.” He stops in the middle of the common room and gestures toward the door behind me, “I know you two hate each other, or maybe, want to fuck each other. I don’t really know which, but —”
“What the fuck?” I sputter, “I don’t want to — that’s ridiculous. She —”
“Okay!” Theo interrupts, “So you’re fine with us going out?”
”Are you even hearing yourself? Why wouldn’t I be?” I snarl.
He shakes his head and crosses to the arched doorway leading to the dorms.
“Okay, glad we got that out of the way then.” He calls over his shoulder and disappears up the stairs, leaving me alone with a million insults left to say.
Fucker.
So, she did ask him out in the note. But why not just ask him out loud after class today? Why did she have to write a fucking book about it and hand it to him like some secret contraband?
I’m not going to lose to her in Potions tomorrow, I’ve already got that sorted. But, I need something else. Something that will finish her once and for all. Winning at potions is anticlimactic. Everyone knows I’m particularly gifted in it, even Snape has said so.
But I don’t just want her to lose…I want her to bow.
She doesn’t have many friends here — all that nose in a book behavior doesn’t lead to a social life— otherwise I’d have already drug one down to the dungeon and drew a few secrets out of them.
The only person I’ve ever seen her receive letters from is Ginny Weasley, but I’m not particularly fond of the Weasley’s. Slippery bunch. Plus, Ginny’s not even here this year — something about her taking a year off school after the war to spend with her family, and with Potter.
If I only I could read that note. Maybe I could hex Theo in his sleep and steal it from his robes, but then again he’s probably already hidden it. He knows me too well.
Hidden. Now, there’s a thought…
I’ve watched her come out of the Room of Requirement twice. Once, two years ago before summer break. And just before this winter break, I saw her again. At first I thought nothing of it but the second time, her head spun around, searching for anyone nearby who watched her leave. And I’ve been meaning to check it out —to see what she could be hiding up there.
I turn on my heel and stride from the common room, bushing past students on my way to the seventh floor. The last time I paced three times, focusing on what I needed most, in front of this blank wall, I re-emerged with one less friend.
The door appears. I hesitate for a moment before turning the knob and walking inside.
My heartbeat quickens and I lean against the door, willing myself to remember I’m back here by choice, not force. I’m not under those pressures anymore. Every time I entered this room before, the panic closed around me. I could feel it squeezing my chest like a cobra, restricting my life — and my choices.
The anxiety of constantly looking over my shoulder, wondering if Dumbledore was choking on the poisoned mead I’d prepared, or wearing the necklace and taking his last breaths. All the frantic hours fixing the vanishing cabinet, praying for a way out. I couldn’t see one then. I felt hopeless. I was so stupid. And I hated myself for it.
The grip on my chest starts to ease as I take in my surroundings. It’s bare, for one. Smaller, too. The consuming fire spell Goyle cast, the one that ultimately lead to his death, cleared everything out.
Now, there’s just a couple of new crates in the corners, a few shabby furniture pieces, and a bookshelf on the back wall. Curious, I walk over to the pile of books, stacked haphazardly, as it someone was in too big a rush to shelve them properly. With a flick of my wand, the books unstack and rise, filing themselves neatly onto the shelves.
There. That’s better. Now, I can see what’s going on. I trail a fingers along the spines. Cooking With Magical Fruits, Magic In The Modern Age, A Guide To Stonework— boring.
A scarlet binding suddenly catches my eye. Smaller than the rest, the red book sits against the back of the shelf, resisting my reorganization charm. Curious. Once I open it, my eyes immediately land on a name scribbled in the bottom-right corner of the first page.
Holy shit. This is Snitch’s diary. A smile tugs at my lips and I cast a look around the room. This is exactly what I need, thank you Room of Requirement. I’m positive this is what she’s been hiding up here. This is what I need.
Information.
I flip to a random page.
I never thought it was a big deal. Sex, that is.
I snap the book closed. Did she just say —
My curiosity gets the better of me, and I crack the journal open just an inch and peer into it again.
I guess I just sort of assumed it was something that happened naturally in relationships. And that I didn’t need to be concerned about it until I got there with someone. But, last night I overheard some girls talking in the common room. They were discussing what their boyfriends liked, what they didn’t like, and how to give the best blowjobs.
When it comes to…pleasing someone, I want to be good at it. I want to be good at everything.
The way her handwriting loops and swirls over the words pleasing someone, sends a jolt straight to my cock.
I slam the book shut again.
God, I’m a fucking idiot.
Maybe Mother is right, and I need to take a semester off. I could come back and finish school later. Because even being in this room is a mind-fuck all on its own. I’ve been working up the courage for months to face my actions here, and all it took was focusing on my arch-nemesis for one second, and I’m standing in this room without much pause at all, pouring over my academic rival's horny journal.
It apparently doesn't bother me too much though, because a minute later, I’m reading again.
I’ve never even been on a real date. Never had anyone kiss me. Like, what if I find my dream guy, kind and loyal, and one day we're talking about going down on each other, and I don’t know how to make it good for him?
Fuck. She’s never even been on a date?
She’s also dreadfully insecure about her sexual inexperience. I guess I can kind of understand that, but what bothers me more is the fact that she’s only referring to pleasing her partner. Those words pop up over and over but nowhere on this page is she talking about her curiosity on what it would feel like to…get pleased.
Holy shit. I’m getting hard from handwriting. Clearly, it’s been too long since I’ve got laid.
Yeah, that’s what I need. Then, I’ll be able to read this with a clear head. Newly resolved, I tuck the journal under my armpit and head towards the door.
Thirty minutes later, I’m sitting up against the wall next to the door, still reading.
I can’t help myself. It’s like I’m cursed to stay in this room until I’ve read this entire damn thing. And yeah, I feel a little bad…but secrets like this…about the Snitch…God, it’s going to my head like mulled mead.
She writes about a lot of things. The pressure from her parents to always stay positive and grateful no matter what, the loneliness she feels now that Ginny isn’t here at school, but most of all…she talks about me.
One of these days, I might just hex Malfoy into never being able to speak again. He just says whatever he wants with no care for how it comes across.
That mouth…his words have such…cut to them. He knows where insecurities are and chooses his words specifically to dig in like knives, twisting and tearing into flesh until you’re screaming on the inside. But I would never let him see that.
He doesn’t matter enough to me to let him see that.
He’s a monster.
My eyes flick to the date on to top of the page
She wrote that months ago.
Something sharp as glass pricks my chest from the inside, and I rub my sternum. Suddenly, I snap the cover shut, silencing her infuriating words. She can think that all she wants, but I don’t care what others think of me.
Never have.
I stride from the room, journal tucked safely under my robes, and i head for the dormitories.
Regardless of my little reading detour, I got what I came for. And now, I have a plan.
a/n: thanks for reading!! If you want to be added to the tag list, just comment or message me! reblogs and likes are always appreciated. love you all!
