Ok i know this is just exposing myself but im a virgin and proud 🥹 ✌🏽
When you write smut i always see you putting lines like "are you still here?" And like... What does that mean?
What's it's purpose? Does that actually happens in sex?
Hey Medea, just saw this and figured I’d reply to it in between. :) First of all: thank you for trusting me with that question. And you don’t have to feel embarrassed about it. Being curious about things like this is completely normal.
When I write lines like “are you still here?” or similar check-ins, the intention behind them is usually to make sure the other person is comfortable and still present in the moment. It’s basically a way of checking in emotionally and physically.
In the context of my Varka writing specifically, it’s there because I see him as someone who is very considerate and attentive. Even if someone has already given consent and everything is clearly mutual, a person who cares about their partner might still check in from time to time—especially if things are intense or if there’s a more dominant dynamic involved.
For Varka, I think it really depends on the situation and the stage of the relationship. Early on, when two people are still learning each other and how the other person reacts, those check-ins would probably happen more often. Especially in scenarios where he’s the more dominant one. When there’s a bit of a power shift like that, it becomes even more important to make sure the other person is still comfortable.
Once a relationship is more established, I think those check-ins would still exist, but they’d probably be more implicit. He would still be attentive and observant, but he wouldn’t necessarily ask for verbal confirmation every single moment…especially not in the heat of the moment. :D
But regardless of that, I’m convinced that Varka would always put the other person’s well-being first.
So the line isn’t meant to imply something is wrong. It’s more like asking:
“Are you okay?”
“Is this still good for you?”
“Are you still with me?”
And honestly, in a healthy relationship, that kind of attentiveness is a good thing. Consent and communication are important, and personally I think that kind of care is actually very attractive.
That said, it really depends on the people and the relationship. Not everyone phrases things the same way, and sometimes those check-ins are more subtle.
But for Varka, in my interpretation, it fits him. He’s strong and confident, but also perceptive and protective (especially with someone he cares about).
So the short answer is: yes, something like that can happen, and when it does it’s usually just a way of making sure both people are comfortable and enjoying the moment.
And again: there’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking questions like this. :)
can we all just agree that whoever asks the other person out on a date is by default the paying person? How embarrassing it would be to ask someone out and then ask them to split the bill 😂. Like, no. YOU asked me out to this place. you’re paying, not me. However if I ask a guy to come out to brunch or a concert with me, then I’m paying 🤷🏻♀️.
