Jun 29
Gravity Falls: A Study in Perspective
Boss Mabel
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seen from Malaysia
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Gravity Falls: A Study in Perspective
Boss Mabel
And now he will behold his greatest fear!
A Little Preview-- From the Heart of the Pacific Northwest, just West of Weird, it's Mutual of Oregon's PARANORMALITY!
...Camera pans along the side of the Stan O’ War to Stan, sitting in his trademark suit and red tie, sitting in a camp chair outside of the vehicle. He holds a drink in his hand and speaks to the camera.
“Hey, gang! Stan Pines, here, out in the wilds of central Oregon. He takes a sip from his glass. Today, me and my nerdy bro are out hunting for the elusive ‘Gremloblin.’”
A loud roar from somewhere off camera, followed by a brief scream, apparently in Ford’s voice.
A figure in a trench coat and red turtleneck runs by the camera in front of Stan, followed by a large greenish-brownish blur. Stan remains seated, smiling and sipping his drink.
“Now, the gremloblin, as you might guess from the name, has characteristics of both gremlins and goblins. And what are those characteristics? Well-- ”
Crashing sounds from off camera. The same blur of a man, followed by the large greenish-brownish blur, this time running across camera in the opposite direction.
“...as you may be aware, gremlins are mischievous little beasts who excel at committing minor pranks specifically to annoy their victims…”
More screams, a few human, sounds of melee and crashing branches and undergrowth.
“Sometimes that mischief is benign, like hiding your keys. Sometimes, but just as often, that mischief can be pretty serious, like having your car engine fall out while your driving on the highway….”
The blurs run across the field of view once more, this time, the green-brown mass hurtling past first, the red and brown one apparently chasing it. Stanley looks on bemusedly and takes another sip from his drink. He turns back to the camera.
“Now, goblins are usually small, grotesque little stinkers, very tricksy, just like gremlins. But whereas gremlins are equal opportunity tricksters and mischief-makers, goblins are short-tempered, territorial, and nasty beasts. Contrary to popular belief, goblins are a kind of faerie, not demons.”
More noise from off camera. Ford’s voice can be heard. “Okay, you two-bit storybook sonuvabitch! Take that!” Sounds of electrical equipment shorting, followed by an inhuman howl of pain.
“Well! Let’s see how my brother is doing! Ford-?”
Camera pans to Ford grappling with a six-foot gremloblin. He is using his stun-gauntlet and wearing a pair of wide, wraparound mirrored sunglasses. It’s all very dramatic as they tear at each other like ancient Greek wrestlers.
From off-camera, Stanley’s voice—
“You’ll notice that Ford there is wearing mirrored sunglasses. Now, this is not a fashion choice, but a safety measure. See, one of the more pernicious things a gremloblin can do is conjure up a person’s worst nightmares. But it requires eye contact, so in order to preserve his own sanity, my brother over there uses the glasses to keep the beast from locking eyes with him…”
As they grapple, Ford thrusts an arm in and is able to give the gremloblin an electric purple-nurple with his gauntleted hand. The beast screams and picks Ford up bodily over its head, flinging him into the trees. As it charges after him. Camera changes to Stanley, still sitting comfortably with his drink.
“Hey, Poindexter! You wanna hurry this up? I need another vodka gimlet!”
From somewhere off camera: “Do you wanna do this, Stanley?!”
“Well, while we wait for my brother Ford to finish up here, let’s check in with Ranger Wendy for another fascinating look at local Oregonian wildlife!”
Camera cuts to Wendy, standing in a clearing in the woods, holding what appears to be a rabbit with deer antlers. She is wearing a State Park Ranger uniform. She is continually petting and stroking the animal, like a Bond villain.
“Hello! Ranger Wendy here again. And this little cutie here is a Pacific Northwest Forest Jackalope. This species is distinct from the Great Plains Jackalope you might be more familiar with. As you can see, the main difference is that the forest jackalope has smaller, less ornate antlers than the jackalopes of the plains. The forest jackalope is much more akin to the common rabbit, whereas the plains jackalope is more obviously like wild hares and jackrabbits…”
She runs her hand over the jackalope’s head, scratching it behind the ears (causing its leg to start thumping) and showing off the small antlers, still covered with velvet. “Awww, whosa good boy? Izzit you? Yeeeeah, isssyouuuu.” She turns back to the camera.
“In Central America, Mesoamerican stories of the Huichol people refer to jackalopes in their legends. In fact, they believed that the deer actually got its antlers from the hare, and not that hares got their antlers from the deer to become jackalopes. And, oddly enough, the rabbit and the deer were often depicted in pairs by the Aztecs, like brothers, or as a pair, like the sun and moon.”
The jackalope begins to squirm in Wendy’s hands. She gently places it down on the forest floor. It quickly dashes off into the undergrowth.
“Jackalopes are generally pretty shy little things. You could wander through the woods here for years and never spot one. The forest jackalopes can be friendly, if you gain their trust, but the jackalopes of the plains are another matter. They can be quite aggressive, and while not lethal, they can do easily as much damage as an angry cat.”
The camera focuses in on Wendy’s face.
“If you want to learn more about jackalopes, and other cryptids featured on Paranormality, come visit us online at http://www.Paranormality.org/Cryptids! And now, let’s see how Stan and Ford are doing….”
happy father's day i guess
day 17: LOOK I TRIED OKAY. and that's all that matters. gremloblin.
Charlie Figmy Green my beloved
She’s just a character I made for Gravity Falls but shhhshhshshh we don’t talk about that. ❤️❤️ I apologize for low quality of the photos lmao
Pre-NWHS angst story prompt
"Dipper wasn't sure how he expected Grunkle Stan to react when he looked into the eyes of the gremloblin-but he definitely hadn't expected him to slump to his knees and start quietly sobbing."