#greyface asks

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

B e e r

"...hah. Funny, maybe a little, but only when I actually work with my brewing personally, which is not as often as one might think these days."

"Hell, I barely drink as often as I used to. I still enjoy the flavor and aroma of most alcohols, but the alcohol itself has no effect on me anymore... it has not been able to affect me in a very, very long time, now that I think on it..."

[capriciouswriter]

Anonymous said: What was the first phrase that humankind came up with that truly made you laugh?

“I... honestly can’t remember. It’s been so many centuries. I might not be able to tell you the first one, but the last thing that made me laugh was the new ‘Ok boomer’ trend, it’s so amusing.”

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

LOOK A SQUIRREL-

"...Nope... not going to fall for that... Not going to-"

BORKBORKBORKBORKBORKBORK-

"...I mean... ahem... that was not a squirrel, that was a chipmunk. They are entirely different animals... I think it is gone now."

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

LOVING all your new rp icons!! They're so expressive and well made :3

[Why Thank you! I can't take credit for them though, that honor goes to the good friend and excellent artist/writer I've been commissioning these bad boys from: @unknowngoddess-art - who is also the writer behind @thelittlestdemon amongst other blogs. As a treat, have my favorite 'icon' they've done of Hriob thus far-]

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

Wait, is that an army of squirrels?

"...finally, a worthy adversary! OUR BATTLE SHALL BE LEGENDARY!!!"

The Dog-Shifted-Fae spends the next hour brutally massacring the invading army of tree-dwelling rodents, laughing and barking all the while.

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

time for hriob to learn Embroidery!!!

"...You don't get it. Needles, thread, and fabric are my weakness. There are people whose cooking skills are so lacking they can burn cereal and milk, there are people who can't hold a note to save their life without breaking something like a friend's eardrums or a rare vase, and there are people who are so clumsy they can try and walk down stairs and end up breaking three walls, seven ribs and several other bones."

"THE LAST TIME I TRIED TO TEACH MYSELF KNITTING I ENDED UP SUMMONING THINGS WHICH SHALL NOT BE NAMED BY ACCIDENT. I AM NOT RISKING THAT AGAIN, ESPECIALLY AT THIS TIME OF YEAR!!!"

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

( if you still take these )

That skinny bitch is a psycho and a danger to society. They hurt others with no regards or remorse and kills in cold blood, not to mention deranged with their crazy talks about speaking with the dead and promoting eating disorders by flaunting their bones around. Also, did you know Eerie has a dick? And also a whore at that? It's best if you just took their kid away from them, who knows what dangers that ugly f*g parading as a woman could pose to the daughter.

Referencing @dethqveen -

"...You know, its almost ironic, talking about 'child-snatching' to a Fae... Almost."

The Anon in question, suddenly with their entire head incased in a massive, painful one-handed grip, began to feel static, and heat, as their entire body became the vessel for Thousands of Amps of electricity, silently screaming as their vocal chords failed, muscles spasmed uncontrollably all over their body, and their brain began to cook within their own skull.

"...I don't even know where to begin with you, but as much as I shouldn't enjoy this, Arschloch, I'm probably doing you a favor all the same - that Lovely Nonbinary Friend of mine would do far, far worse."

[hriobzagelthewanderer]

It seems that a crow has decided to land on Hriob's head.

"..."

Yeah, this is normal for the big guy. Apparently he looks and 'feels' like a tree to most wildlife most of the time.