So like one of the weirdest things about being here in Japan so far, aside from the whole “I’m in a country entirely unfamiliar to me without any family or friends and have to make it all by myself with little financial assistance and limited ties back home” thing, is that I’m suddenly a foreigner.
Like, it’s so weird. I think it’s a weird that’s good for me, because it gives me a better understanding of what it’s like. Suddenly I’m the person that is noticeably taking up space. Suddenly I’m the one getting odd looks in the grocery store because I’m foreign and obviously don’t know what I’m doing. Or I’m speaking English to friends and we’re being the stereotypical loud and boisterous Americans even though we’re just trying to find cooking oil. It’s such an odd feeling to come from a place of comfort and belonging where no one would look at me twice if I went hurdling through a grocery store in America, but suddenly here I’m forced to be aware of everyone around me and how they’re perceiving me. Or I have to be extra mindful of certain customs to not seem like just another dang gaijin.
And it really is an interesting thing. I think it’s pretty eye-opening as an experience. Dealing with the uncertainty and fear that comes from not wanting to noticeably exist in a place where you’re so obviously considered an outsider is crazy. I think it’ll definitely be something to keep in mind whenever I go back home.