”Sizhui.” It’s not often that when they travel they’re alone, usually Lan Wangji has at least Lan Jingyi or one of the other disciples with them. A lot of time, actually, they even end up stuck with Jin Rulan somehow. With some luck, surprisingly, this time it had just been the two of them.
Lan Wangji isn’t good with his words, this is something both of them and entirety of the Cloud Recesses is aware. Somehow, being quiet makes him come off as conceited, narcissistic and cold. The last one, at least, he can see within himself. The others? There is a rule against being such ways and he doesn’t believe himself to have broken it yet.
With Lan Sizhui alone with him, he wanted to try and convey something though. So, while they walked along the beaten, dirt road, Hanguang-Jun paused in his steps and turned to face the young man. Already, he’s grown so much. The little, dirty boy, he had carried home from the Burial Mounds had turned into such a kind and capable young man.
Many times he sees Wei Wuxian in him. In the way he acted and how much of himself he gives to others. Ironically, he can also see a frightening amount of himself in him too. It makes him wonder, some days, if he was to harsh with him.
He can still smile though, and that is something he takes comfort in.
Lan Wangji took a breath and tucked his left hand behind his back, watching the boy he had raised as best he could. The boy he had named for the emotions that have held his heart in captivity for years. He is everything to Lan Wangji, and he would give whatever he could for him. To protect what was left of Wei Wuxian and everything he sacrificed for.
The young man was always attentive but when it was just he and his baba he was by far more at ease. He did not have to focus his attention on those who were less alert. It was always a pleasure to have him there with him. It was like a family outing. Not that Sizhui regretted spending time with Jingyi or the other juniors. He knew that Jin Ling liked the acceptance he found with them. None of them cared that Jin Ling was a future Sect Leader, it did not matter with Ouyang Zizhen when he could get away and it did not matter with A-Ling either.
At the call of his name Lan Sizhui turned his attention to the man who had raised him and lips curved up at the side. as he adjusted his guqin across his back. Giving him his attention to see what was needed. If someone were to speak ill of Lan Wangji it was absolutely certain Sizhui would correct them. Nothing of his baba was arrogant, arrogance was against Sect Rules. He was a good leader even though he did not have a lot to say. All of the juniors looked up to him, he was not on a pedestal . He was approachable and kind within the things he was most comfortable with. He had the right to not like someone and he had the right to not indulge someone's haughtiness.
The young man paused turning his blade rested against his shoulder as he folded his arms around it looking at him curiosity etched on his features.
Sizhui had developed his own views, his own morale. He knew what was right and what was wrong. He trusted in the teachings of his Sect and he was bright. He was able to form his own views and had been given those tools. He embodied the view Wei Wuxian had spoken of without knowing. Attempt the impossible. It was also Jin Ling's jiujiu's sect motto. Sizhui felt it was the role of a cultivator, they were to defend the weak, protect those that were in need and above all else be kind. It was what was right. Which is where he felt he was like Lan Zhan. He was upright and loyal. More so, he was noble without the arrogance of someone who knew they were as good as he was. Restraint was important as well.
The young man overachieved for reasons even he didn't fully understand, part had been fears of being put out of the Sect if he had not proved good enough. The other part was just a desire to learn and protect. Grand Uncle had said he was the best of his generation. He was head disciple, but the boy didn't take too much into the title. He was proud, without being full of himself. It was why he balked at Sect Leader Yao and his juniors who acted much like their sect leader.
Sizhui was happy he had been a happy child once he had gotten over the skittishness of being a tiny boy in a huge Sect. Even when eyes turned to look at him knowing that he belonged to the Second Jade. He put his best foot forward. Little Sizhui had disliked loud noises and startled easily. It was something that took him years to conquer but conquer it he did. Though he owed that to Jingyi. Who had been the loudest Lan A-Yuan had ever met.
The smile brightened greatly and he felt heat flood his cheeks. The smile took in his eyes as well and he bowed his head."Thank you, baba." he whispered. Sizhui rarely used the endearment in his older years because he understood that Hanguang-jun belonged to the Sect and he must share him. "All I have wanted was to make you proud and help others."
To Sizhui he was the world. He loved the man unconditionally and he had always done his very best to live up to the standards placed to him. He still lived at home even though he was getting old enough to be on his own. It had never struck Sizhui that he should move. He would with time. He just liked the comfort of knowing if the nightmares came, that he could go listen to Inquiry being played by his skilled father.
