I *desperately* want to see a scene of little AJ Padalecki in first grade, trying to do a “This Is My Family” presentation for show-and-tell, complete with a family photo album. It would be SO unhinged.
“This is my dad, Aiden Padalecki. He is a UFC fighter. He can definitely beat up all of your dads.
“This is my mom, DJ Vance. She sells jewelry, and if you want to buy some, she attached this QR code to the back of my album. Sometimes it turns your skin black but she says that’s good for you.
“This is my grandma, Aunt Deborah. She’s famous and very beautiful and says that you should never cry because it gives you forehead wrinkles.
“This is my Aunt Kathy. Aunt Deborah says it’s really important to learn to read because Aunt Kathy never learned how, but my mom said Aunt Deborah is just mad because Aunt Kathy stole her husband.
“This is my Aunt Ava. She’s my godmother and she lives with Aunt Deborah. She’s Aunt Deborah’s…cre-at-ive part-ner. That’s what my mom said. I asked my mom if that means they’re married and Mom said no and then yes and then said it’s complicated. So I asked Aunt Ava and she said that Aunt Deborah is her hot sugar mommy, and Aunt Deborah smacked her shoulder and said “You WISH.” So I don’t know what that means…”
*AJ is quickly ushered back to his seat to confused and concerned applause*
(credit for the “sugar mommy” bit goes to my Hacks bestie @streepytime )
