Mod Nagito writing something really late at night cuz he can't sleep and is a sad bitch, enjoy this mess that he calls "writing"
Nagito can't sleep. He's tried every position, every kind of exhaustive activity, everything reasonable but he still can't sleep. Even if he does he can't get any actual rest. His heart pounding in his chest painfully, physically and metaphorically, all because of Hajime. He's been distant lately, spending less time with Nagito in favor of others. Nagito knows it's okay and that nothing has changed, but it still hurts not having him around. Constantly cycling through different scenarios of varying absurdity, all trying to rationalize that Hajime is just doing his own thing. His greatest friend, and one person he actually loves in any capacity, is just going off to have his own adventure.
It's dawned on Nagito that this has happened before, other friends from days long gone who did the same thing. Slowly pushed him to the side, forgot him... Nagito didn't want to let it happen again, he didn't want to lose his last friend before he left this world. Nagito opened a Google doc on his phone. A familiar place where old scraps of confession letters, half written stories, notes from a person who said they were dead if it was being read. He typed out a message to Hajime, in that moment not caring weather or not it was actually going to be read by him.
[It's only been a few days since we've actually spent a long amount of time together. I know you like to have variety in your life, I know I probably I bore you to death with the way I sound. It's just... I miss you so much already...
I've lost so many 'friends' the same way across my life. People get what they want from me, people get bored of me, people do what they can to stay away from me. You've been the only person who hasn't used me...
At least not that I've taken serious notice of.
You made me feel wanted. For the first time in the majority of my small life, I felt like I actually belonged to someone.
We've spent so much time together that it's difficult to handle so much less so abruptly. I may put on a cheery face and voice, but I wish you'd stay..... At least seem like you want to stay...
Hajime I... I don't want to be in this world without you. I don't have so much time left, but I don't want any more of it to be without you there. I don't want to be alone again...
Hajime you're practically my other half. You're what helps me stay balanced. I can't help but feel hurt when you act detached from me, do things without me. Do things without thinking of me...
I know I've said this to you before, but Hajime I really mean it...
But I guess that's just my luck, right? Waiting for the person of my dreams to actually see me as I see them...
Nagito stops typing and just throws his phone on the floor. He he can't keep typing, he'd be at it until his expiration date. He'd just have to grin and bear the pain, maybe until Hajime noticed and cared. Or until he died.
Nagito buried his head under his pillow and forced himself into a kind of restless sleep.
Come morning he found himself on the floor, phone in hand.
Turns out that he had been sleepwalking. He had sent the whole thing to Hajime. It was only a matter of time before he saw it, and Nagito was dreading it.
