Though Merces doesn’t really feel in tune with nature, he is somehow comforted by its presence and prefers smaller settlements or travelling over city life. He particularly likes flowing water, verdant greenery and rain.
Cain has a mixed relationship with oceans and seas, but there’s no denying that he wouldn’t feel a little drawn to them. He finds all kinds of environments interesting, though forests (or at least the Shroud) unnerve him a bit - and he thinks that most trees look the same, making him quite bad at navigating through the woods.
Haldswys is an urbanite and not particularly attached to “true” nature with no signs of human intervention. However, she enjoys the quietness of countryside every now and then (which one reason why she visits her parents semi-regularily) and doesn’t mind travelling out into the wilderness. It’s just that she finds cities much more interesting.
Lumien is, despite his clumsiness, usually at ease in forest areas. He knows a little about plants and navigating in the woods, so he wouldn’t start panicking straight away - and he finds starlit canopies one of the most beautiful things in the world. In general, he sees a lot of poetic beauty in nature and likes to write about it.
G’ilas has something of a special link with the nature, though he rarely shows it. Being a conjurer (or a shaman, as conjury was called shamanism by his tribe), he can hear the elementals to a degree, and therefore travelling through natural areas tends to feel more vivid to him than a walk in the city. Nevertheless, the spirits’ voices/feelings can sometimes get a bit overwhelming, so he enjoys having an occasional respite at a place where their presence is less strong, such as his house in Mist.
(Another fairly lengthy multi-character answer incoming! Also, as a foreword, while I’ve tried to educate myself and be respectful, I feel that my understanding of genders might be a bit fuzzy at times; therefore I’m always willing to discuss these headcanons and change anything which could seem offensive/awkward.)
Haldswys is trans woman and has admired tough women, heroines and female adventurers ever since she was young. In her restless adolescence years, she dreamed of joining the Sanguine Sirens, but it took her a few years to realize why she felt so drawn to the Sirens in particular.
Although her choice of profession means that she can’t be afraid of getting her hands (or the rest of herself) dirty, she still tends to use makeup and style her hair daily, and she often also paints her nails - even if she’ll have to redo the paint the following day. It makes fer feel better and is part of her gender presentation.
Lumien is cisgender male. Even though he is quite soft-spoken and may have interests which at least in some cultures would be considered feminine, nobody has ever really questioned his identity, himself included. Being tall and somewhat handsome might help, and he knows how to dress well.
Merces’s gender identity is... a bit interesting, probably. For quite a while after he left Azys Lla, he would have probably described himself as agender if someone had asked - but mostly because having a gender felt like something reserved to those who actually counted as people.
Even nowadays, he considers the fact that he is male similar to the fact that he is right-handed or that he is six fulms and one ilm tall: it might affect his physical abilities to a degree, but it doesn’t really mean anything beyond that. He sees no need to emphasize or deny it.
Cain and Brenda are both characters who would rather not talk about their gender because it’s a bit Complicated(TM) and they struggle to make sense to it. The difference between them is that Cain defaults to he/him pronouns and probably identifies at least a little with his birth gender whereas Brenda uses they/them and is nonbinary.
Brenda might also be more likely to correct someone for using the wrong pronoun or moniker (at least if they don’t fear getting ridiculed for doing so); Cain would either not bother or think that the mistake was intentional, roll his eyes and ignore it.
I would probably say that Haldswys is physically the strongest character I have, given that her character concept is (or at least initially was) basically just ‘boisterous bruiser’ and that her weapon of choice is a fairly large axe.
Honourable mention goes to Storm, who might have given Haldswys a run for her money back in his adventurer days; nowadays he doesn’t do a lot of physical work (at least regularly). In contrast, Merces and Lumien do physical work, but I’m not sure whether either of them is more than just “averagely strong”.
It was difficult to describe what the room smelled like. Some mixture of smoke, orange, cedarwood and spices, maybe? If Haldswys had to guess, it was because of the incense. The scent wasn’t her favourite, but thankfully, it wasn’t the reason she had come to the fortune teller’s abode.
“Come in, darling,” a warm voice invited her. The fortune teller’s age was evident in the lines on her face, but she wore her colourful outfit with as much pride as a girl of twenty summers, and her eyes watched closely as Haldswys placed her axe in the corner and sat down on the plush chair. “Welcome. How may I lift the veil of the future today for you?”
Haldswys leaned in, painted nails forming a neat plum-coloured line as her fingers interlocked. She had decided beforehand what she wanted to ask from the cards, but for some reason, blurting that out straight away would have felt uncouth. She wanted to get used to the smell, the dim lighting and the lack of echoes caused by the velour drapes surrounding them, before locking her decision. It also gave the fortune teller ample time to take out her deck.
For a little while, the quiet shuffling of cards was the only sound that permeated the silence. Then Haldswys spoke.
“Am I in a good place?”
The fortune teller looked at her with unhidden curiosity and nodded. Her bracelets jingled like a delicate melody when she pulled out five cards, one by one, and set them face downwards on the table. Haldswys breathed deep in.
“This is where you stand,” the fortune teller said as she flipped the first card – one in the middle of of the cross-shaped spread. Doing so revealed the picture of a crowned woman who stood tall and regal, a blossoming wooden staff in her hand. “Queen of Wands. Charismatic, energetic and sometimes slightly forceful. Full of passion. I am not surprised to see this card here.”
“Neither am I when ye describe it tha’ way,” Haldswys chuckled. What little tension she had felt quickly melted away, and it was replaced by the pleasant tingle of excitement. She gestured at the woman. “Go on.”
“This is what you left behind.” The fortune teller flipped the leftmost card, which depicted a man with a large golden coin yet somehow indecisive expression. It was upside down. She hummed. “A reversed King of Pentacles? One who can’t keep up the appearances or loses sight of what’s important. A bit unusual sight in a young lady’s table, particularly one like yourself. Not the most common card for a lover.”
Haldswys looked at the card and smiled, though a bit ruefully. She knew, and it seemed like the cards knew, too.
“This keeps you down.” Without elaborating further, the fortune teller moved onto the next card; perhaps she had seen the glint in Haldswys’s eyes. Now her attention turned onto the row of blades drawn on the bottom card. “Six of Swords. Moving on, or transition. Sometimes this card can be something which drags you down or chains you into an unwanted situation, but I have a feeling that isn’t the case here.”
The fortune teller gave Haldswys a curious glance, to which she responded with a twisted smirk.
“Ye’re probably right, but it ain’t what yer first thought might be,” she replied, deciding to be about as cryptical as the fortune teller. A rough but long-nailed finger tapped the King of Pentacles. “Got something to do with this fella ‘ere, that I can say.”
The fortune teller simply nodded before flipping the fourth card.
“This lies in front of you. Ah, Seven of Cups. Dreams and choices, but also a reminder.” The description made Haldswys raise an eyebrow. “You have many paths ahead of – some of them things you have wished for, others less desirable. Am I right? You should make a decision lest the life makes it in your stead, and remember that pursuing a dream requires more than thinking about it. Not all paths that look straight are so behind the next hill.”
Haldswys pursed her lips as she gazed at the fourth card. There was oddly much sense in the flowery turns of phrase, but she was a little unsure how to feel about a piece of cardboard admonishing her, or at least trying to give advice. It wasn’t the first one, though: her sister had already gone first.
“This is what guides you forward.” It was time for the fifth and final card – one located above all the others. Haldswys watched with bated breath as the fortune teller flipped it.
Five coins, arranged in a symmetrical fashion. Were it not for the gate pictured behind them, it would have been impossible to tell that the card was upside down.
“Reversed Five of Pentacles.” The beat of silence that followed felt somehow so solemn that Haldswys was genuinely surprised to see the fortune teller smile. “One of the strange ones which are more fortunate when not upright. A promise of change, or a signal of a hard battle which has been won. Perhaps the choice you have to make will not be an easy one, but you have the perseverance to see it through. You are a fighter – and not only the kind who fells her foes with an axe. If you believe in yourself, your enduring nature will be your guidance. You can find stability if you choose to do so.”
“Fight fer what I want and I’ll get it, huh,” Haldswys mused. A mixture of perplexity and pleasure danced in her mind, leading to a half-smile and an amused voice. “Well, this was enlightenin’. Probably wasn’t what I expected when I walked in, but seldom goes that way, aye?”
“It pleases me if you are more than just entertained – even if entertaining a client is a small success in itself.” The fortune teller’s voice was as deep as warm as in the beginning, but the corners of her eyes crinkled as she smiled. Her fingers briefly brushed against Haldswys’s as she reached out to gather the coins from the table: they were cool to touch. “Go at ease, darling, and be well. I will always be here if you need to ask the cards again.”
“Will keep that in mind,” Haldswys said, and the half-smile transformed to her usual grin as she grabbed her axe from the corner. “Thanks, lady. Navigator an’ whatever gods ye follow keep ye safe.”
With that, she took her leave, her steps sure and her mind a little bit clearer.
(Part of the FFXIV September writing challenge; takes place a couple of years ago)
Haldswys had only managed to down half of her ale when the signs of a brewing argument caught her attention.
”Ey, ’fessor, ye look like yer purse might need some lightening,” a disheveled bloke jeered at the Lalafell whose table he and his friends had surrounded. ”Me an’ my mates could help ye with that, aye?”
The Lalafell looked at them with an expression of discomfort, his meal lying half-finished on the table in front of him. The poor fellow might have picked a bad place to dine: his clean and nice clothes set him apart from the most visitors of the seedy bar, and the glasses and lack of visible weaponry marked him as a seemingly easy target. Seemingly, as Haldswys had seen plenty of people get their rear ends handed over by Lalafells. This one didn’t look like he wielded anything more dangerous than a letter knife, though.
”My apologies, gentlemen, but my travel budget is quite limited,” the Lalafell tried to convince the trio of brutes. ”Would you mind at least letting me finish my meal in peace?”
”Eh? Yer askin’ us to wait? Ain’t no one got time fer that, not with them throats bein’ dry as dust,” another man grumbled, taking a step closer to glare at the man threateningly. ”We asked ye nicely, ’fessor.”
”Please don’t call me professor. It’s not quite an accurate moniker, at least yet.”
”Are ye tryin’ to mess with us? We ain’t interested in yer titles. We want yer money,” the third member of the group said and drew a short rusty knife from his belt. He had apparently got tired of waiting. ”Give it. Now, or you might break those spectacles o’ yers.”
”Sod off and leave the fella alone, won’t ye?”
Haldswys had grown tired of waiting and watching, too. She finished her pint with one good gulp and stood up, eyeing the trio with her hands on her hips.
”And who d’ye think ye are? This guy’s concubine?”
”Bugger off, lass, ain’t yer business--”
”Yer makin’ a ruckus and pissin’ me off, so it’s my business now.” Haldswys emphasized her words by picking her axe and slamming it onto the floor, heavy end first, which caused the men to pale. Thank Navigator her axe didn’t come with a spike.
”O-okay, okay, we understood--”
”What, ye’re giving up just because one lass’s thinkin’ she can tell us to sod off?” the knife-wielding man snapped at his friend before shooting a glare at Haldswys. ”I ain’t scared of Sea Wolf, axe-wieldin’ or not. Not especially a girl.”
The whole bar felt to go silent, and Haldswys grinned.
”Ye wanna head outside to play a bit, boys?”
~*~
Half a bell later, Haldswys returned to the bar with a cheery expression, a couple of bruises and one ripped shirt which she had ’won’ from one of the brutes. She was greeted with a round of cheers.
”Thank you for your intervention, miss,” the Lalafell said as Haldswys passed his table. He gestured her to sit down. ”I was hoping that the barkeep would resolve the situation, but it seems like I might have had too high expectations.”
”Nah, she would’ve intervened if I hadn’t,” Haldswys dismissed as she took a seat and gestured at one of the servers to bring her another ale. ”She just knows that I like me some rough and tumble every now an’ then.”
”Well, I suppose that’s a good thing,” the Lalafell replied, though his eyebrows had risen over the rim of his glasses. He laced his fingers and gave Haldswys a thoughtful look. ”You wouldn’t happen to be looking for work, would you? My name is Sasameru Kokomeru, and I am something of a scholar. I enjoy studying ancient ruins and such, but my self-defense skills are somewhat lacking. Would you be interested in work as a bodyguard?”
”Depends on how much ye’re paying,” Haldswys answered, leaning forward and grinning as a surge of curiosity rushed through her.
(self-reflections) 10. What does your muse think of their own gender? (for your choice)
“I might be many things: a bruiser, an 'venturer, a big party animal... but besides and maybe even 'fore all o’ that, I’m a woman.”
(Haldswys considers herself a woman, and it bears some significance to her. It doesn’t detract from or add anything to her work, but it plays a part in how she acts, dresses and so forth. Transitioning felt like getting pieces of a puzzle fit together, and it brought her comfort and peace of mind.)
“Once, someone called me ‘sir’, and it felt puzzling and empowering at the same time. Another time I found myself yearning for those days when I’d watch the dawn on the Sagolii sands with my skirt fluttering the breeze. Am I a man? No, I’m not... but ‘woman’ sits on my tongue just as ill.”
(Brenda’s gender identity is a bit fluid, and usually they prefer to be referred as ‘adventurer’ rather than any gendered moniker. Sometimes the uncertainty makes them feel almost guilty for doing or liking things that are traditionally associated with one gender or the other, but they try not dwell on it too much or especially show it.)
“...Does it matter?”
(Cain doesn’t feel insulted if someone says that he looks like a girl (why should he? He doesn’t see women as lesser in any way), but the occasional comments have strengthened the feeling of him not 100% being in the manly end of the gender spectrum. As a result, he seldom uses words like ‘guy’ or ‘man’ when talking about himself.)
(Part of the FFXIV September writing challenge; takes place a week or two ago)
Haldswys loved the first days of autumn when mornings were still bright but the temperatures had begun to drop. She sat on the pier with a sweater loosely wrapped around her shoulders, watching the mist make way for the rising dawn.
"Ey, Haldy. Thought I might find ye ‘ere," Ernabryn said in his usual laid-back tone as he sat down next to her.
Haldswys had always marveled how her little brother managed to feel everyone at ease around him. He was tall like everyone else in the family, with wide shoulders and big muscles that aided him in his work as a lumberjack-carpenter, and his angular face could have made him intimidating if it were not for his warm voice and the smiles that came easily to him. Whereas their sister Waembryda was ambitious and even a bit strict, Ernabryn had inherited their father's amiable demeanour along with their mother's tenacity. Haldswys herself was neither this or that – the one who preferred to roam, rumble and have a lot of fun – but it didn't make her love her family any less.
"Gotta come ‘ere at least once every time I come home," Haldswys replied with a grin before turning her gaze back to the sea. "It makes me feel rooted, y'know? A bit o' calm before it's time to get goin' again."
"Aye, I know the feeling," Ernabryn agreed. "Days are full o' work an' hassle, so it's good to ‘ave a breather every now an' then. Even more so if work means cleavin' kobolds or doin' other rough an' tumble work ye ‘venturers do." The comment earned a bark of laughter from Haldswys, and she slapped her brother's back lightly.
"At least we both bring an axe to work," she joked, "an' like to sit at the pier to watch the sunrise in the autumn."
"Aye, that we both do."
They fell into a content silence afterwards, both focusing at the sunlight that was peeking behind the horizon. It lit the waves and made them glimmer in radiant shades of gold, and the sky began changing from deep indigo into crimson and azure.
"It's good to be home," Haldswys murmured, a smile spreading almost by itself onto her lips as she basked in the first rays of the sun.
Ernabryn watched her for a moment; she couldn't see it through her closed eyes, but she could almost feel his gaze upon her as he spoke.
"Any man or woman ever told ye that yer smile is as bright as that big ol' disk over there, sister?" he asked, making Haldswys open her eyes and see him smile warmly. "It's good to ‘ave ye home."
Haldswys found herself uncharacteristically loss at words, but she gave her brother a pat on the shoulder to hide the fact and climbed to her feet.
"Now, let's go and see if Da ain't making ‘is famous rolanberry porridge fer breakfast as usual," she suggested. "He likes to do that from the berries o' the season, doesn't he?"
"Aye, that he does," Ernabryn agreed and stretched as he stood up and turned to head inside. "Sis is gonna come over fer visit with the kids later today. Ye're gonna stay 'round fer that?"
"Aye, fer sure," Haldswys promised, taking a deep breath of crisp autumn air before jogging back to her brother's side and heading back into the house.
It was good to travel the world, definitely, but it was also always good to come home.
Long list of questions, A18: Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do? (for character of your choice)
“No need to get jealous when ye’re already perfect,” Haldswys answers but laughs a little afterwards.
“Nah, it happens to everyone ‘ere. I reckon I used to get more jealous in the past, ‘fore I dared to get out and be what I want to be, but now I’m not the kind of gal to do that a lot. When it happens, I try to notice it an’ smack some sense back to me head by thinkin’ of all the good things I have. No reason to start dwellin’ on it; I’ve got things pretty good nowadays.”
