Lup isn’t sure what compels her to do it.
It’s hard to know what your reaction’s gonna be to the shit until you’re deep in it, though. That’s something she knows from experience, and she doesn’t even have Taako to cope this time, so who knows what she’s going to do when that usual coping mechanism is so rudely thrust out the window. Tears sting her eyes and she’s not even entirely aware of what carries her there, all the goddamned way to Cotes Ward (Mami’s voice rings in her head, cruelly: “This is Cotes Ward. Are you lost?”), but she’s also not deterred by distance.
Right now, she’s kind of on autopilot. It’s what’s keeping her moving forward even when shit is so hideously, heinously fucked up. The anger she felt at learning Taako was here at one point... ...that’s still there, maybe that’s pushing her forward, and she’s relieved she has something that’s not despondency or depression to cling to. Feels productive. Feels empowering to be angry. Feels important to do something that’s not mope or light Barry’s room on fire or whatever the fuck.
So yeah, she shows up at Ashe’s door, even though he lives so far away. And yeah, they barely know each other but she’s so godsdamned thankful that he gave her some basic info (out of some misguided attempt to make sure she was okay, maybe?). It’s stupid, but when she gets there and knocks she knows she’ll just be relieved to see a kind face, because she’s trembling with rage but she needs--she needs--well, she needs--
“Hey, Ashe? It’s me, Lup, from the other day.” She’s proud of herself for how she’s keeping the tremble out of her voice. She wants to carry herself strong and tall and she wants to keep it together. She can do this. “Can I have a job?”
That’s too straightforward and out of nowhere, fuck. Lup isn’t thinking clearly and she curses inwardly. “Fuck.” And outwardly. “Sorry, what I meant to say is um, I’ve been cooking like my whole life, like ever since I was supes tiny, so I’m wicked good for it, and I need to like, blend in here so can I have a job?”
That’s not any better. “Fuck, I mean--I cooked before, like, that was one of my last jobs on the ship with my brother--”
Her voice cracks a little.
“I mean--uh, yeah. Not to brag but I’m pretty much awesome at making stuff taste good! You prob’ly couldn’t find anyone better, actually. If I’m being real. And I’m always hella real, you know I am.”
She forces a wobbly smile just in case he opens the door.