#halfbaked thoughts

[thefluxsystem]

Most people in my day-to-day life have no idea that I have DID. The ones that do know, I told them.

Nobody has ever come to the conclusion on their own (aside from professionals) that I have DID, because frankly most people know nothing about it outside of the name.

My peers see me as a high-functioning hermit. I do what needs to be done (career-wise, socially, etc) then disappear to recharge. I’m labeled as a little odd, eccentric, quirky— all kind ways of saying “we can tell there’s something wrong with you, we just don’t know what”.

I’ve lost friends because of my DID, except they didn’t know that’s what it was. In their eyes I was unreliable, forgetful (interpreted as uncaring by them), I changed my mind too often, I never knew what I wanted. All symptoms of DID and yet never taken as such.

My point is, I feel like the ideas of overt versus covert DID are misconstrued in online system spaces. It’s not necessarily overt means people know you have DID and covert means they don’t. A lot of it is overt means the DID symptoms are noticeable (from the outside looking in), covert means they’re not so noticeable.

[subtext-rapidly-becoming-text]

Thinking about The Lost Boys  (1987) and its direct allusion to Peter Pan. More specifically, I'm pretty sure it's an allusion to Disney's version of Peter Pan. We have the obvious, titular lost boys, who are clearly represented by the vampire gang - a group of boys who have run away / been taken away from their families and refuse to grow up/old. Their resulting emotional immaturity also leads them to eschew all ethical/moral responsibility and disregard how their actions may affect others.

The fairground is Neverland, and Michael is obviously Michael, a boy drawn to the lost boys, who has to ultimately decide to go back home. Lucy, the mother, is Wendy, as fairly explicitly stated by Max, when he says that she was the one he wanted because "boys need a mother." Even Nanook, the family dog, is a pretty clear representation of Nana from Disney's animated film.

Now, the interesting question becomes who is Peter Pan? There are two main candidates: David, as the youthful leader of the lost boys who instigates their adventures and gives them eternal youth; and Max, the head vampire aka lost boy, who pursues Lucy aka Wendy in order to secure them a mother. I think that if we view Peter Pan and Captain Hook as foils in the sense that they are two sides of the same person, it makes sense for Max to actually be Captain Hook, while David is Peter Pan. Max is an adult, he doesn't participate in their adventures and, in fact, at times thwarts them, and he is the main villain our protagonists battle in the end. So if we accept that Captain Hook is Peter Pan's shadow side, then the fact that David and the lost boys are actually his 'children' makes sense.

I think this makes the grandpa the crocodile, who just kinda shows up and kills Captain Hook in the end. The only question that remains is, is Sam Tinker Bell? He is perceived as jealous when his mom and Max go on dates, but I'm not sure that's enough to substantiate that claim. The Frog brothers also remain unclassified, but I'm ok with that.