ok but where r the hamster boys & hamster girls at. i would put you in at least a 40 gallon breeder tank and offer you a tiny plate of hamster safe kitchen scraps when i make dinner every night. you would have a sand bath and multiple hides and i would refill your water bottle with fresh water every morning. you would get one- no, TWO yogurt treats a day if you're extra cute for me (i know, i know. that's a lot of sugar. but you're here for a good time not a long time) you'd eat top shelf pellet food that i mix with top shelf seed mix and id scatter it everywhere in your enclosure so we can play little foraging games together. i wouldn't even get mad at you for running on your wheel all night because i got you the Carolina Storm bucket wheel so that shit is silent. i bet you would even climb right into my hand when i put it down in your tank and you would never seriously bite me because id squish you to death 🥰 but a little nibble on my fingertips when you get confused would be acceptable. and id brush you with a toothbrush.
