"I wanted to go visit lix today, wanna come with me?"
"Oh, sorry we already made plans together, didn't he tell you?"
"...Y/n... Are you okay?"
You were so excited to finally come home. Today it was cold and windy outside, and your boss yelled at you for something you didn’t even do. You felt like the day couldn’t get worse when it also started to rain all of a sudden and you didn’t have an umbrella. Oh but the whole day you could still be excited for when you’d come home. Felix had said he’d come over after work, and that you could do a movie night with your comfort drama.
With a big smile on your lips you finally opened the door to your apartment, quickly slipping off your shoes and coat. Felix already came to the door to greet you. His smile seemed to be even brighter than yours, and he came up to you and opened his arms. Without hesitation you stepped into his warm embrace, nuzzling your head into his neck. „Had a good day at work angel?“ He asked, swaying you around a bit. „Not really, it was kinda rough.“ You mumbled, closing your eyes and inhaling your boyfriends sweet scent.
„Hmm, if your day was rough you deserve princess treatment now.“ He said, and suddenly scooped you into his arms. You broke out into a fit of giggles, fighting him, but not really. He chuckled too, giving you a light, tender kiss on the forehead. Then, with you in his arms like a bride, he was walking into the living room, where your favorite candle was burning, and a fluffy blanket waiting. Softly, felix sat you down on the couch, settling down next to you. Felix tucked the blanket around you, and started the tv. You nuzzled into his side, already feeling a bit sleepy. But suddenly you got shaken entirely awake again, by your phone ringing. You took it out your pocket, but felix turned to you with suddenly sad eyes. „Please don’t pick up.“
„Why sunshine?“ you mumbled, brushing a few strands of hair out his face.
„Just…don’t, okay?“
You sighed and laid your phone on the beside table. Felix again pressed a kiss to your forehead. „It’s better like this, love.“ He added, but his attention was fully on the tv again.
You wondered a bit what got into him but decided not to question it further. Probably he just didn’t want you to get engrossed into work again, how you always did when you got a message from work. So as felix started the drama you laid your head on hi schest, and he wrapped his arms around you, pressing tiny kisses to your head once a while, a habit he one day just got used to.
„Hey want to go to the beach tomorrow?“ He murmured next to your ear.
You smiled, looking up at him. „That is so random but, to be honest it sounds really nice. But only if it’s okay with the boys.“
„Of course, i’ll just take a day off.“
You caressed his cheek gently, and then pressed a sweet kiss to his soft lips.
And this moment felt perfect, how so many others with felix. Just him, and his comforting presence in your apartment, with the tv softly playing in the background. After a while your eyes got heavy, and slowly you fell asleep. The last thing you remembered was the boy quietly smiling, and giving you a kiss on the forehead again, tender and loving just like him.
The next morning you woke up, feeling unusual cold. As you opened your eyes you saw that you must have fallen asleep in the living room. Soon you remembered the previous night and smiled to yourself. You looked around, but felix was nowhere in sight. You called for him, once, twice, but no answer. Probably an emergency at the company again, or he was getting his stuff from the dorms for the beach. You sat up, taking your phone with a yawn. There was a missed call from chan and a few messages. That had to be the call from yesterday.
You got dressed quickly, getting a mug of coffee and then you called him back. You were best friends, since you had gotten closer because of felix, but you had no idea what he could have wanted yesterday night.
After a few ringings he picked up.
„Hey y/n…“ his voice sounded drained, and sad. Probably he overworked himself again, and tried to finish something over the night. Felix always hated when he did that, working too much so he could be a good leader to the boys.
„Hey chris! What’s up?“ you said, trying not to sound concerned.
„So… i wanted to go visit lix today, wanna come with me? I’d ask the boys, but i don’t know, i somehow feel like it would be just… you got time?“
„Oh sorry channie, but felix and I already have plans today, didn’t he tell you?“
A long silence followed. Did you say something wrong?
„…Y/n… are you okay…?“
You were confused. What was going on with him? He was only talking weird stuff, it didn’t seem like him. Was he really so overworked that he couldn’t think straight?
„Channie, you’re scaring me, why wouldn’t i be okay?“ you spoke into your phone, sounding unsure.
„Y/n, god you are the one scaring me. Did you drink or something?“
„Chan, what… i don’t know what you are talking about, you are seriously scaring me now, maybe you should get some sleep.“ You told him, shaking your head.
„Y/n… you really don’t remember?“ he said, his voice small, and unusually quiet. He was never like this, was there something that slipped your mind? Did you have plans or something?
„I don’t know… Did we have plans or something? Felix didn’t say anything either yesterday. We wanted to go to the beach today…“
You heard a short gasp on the other side of the phone.
„What do you mean yesterday?“ Chan sounded terrified, the horror in his voice made you feel really uneasy, and a lump formed in your stomach.
„He was over at my apartment, and we…-“
„Y/n.“ Chans voice cut you off. It confused you only more. This was probably some prank or maybe chan was mad at you, you had not other explanation for why-
„Felix is dead three months already, what do you mean yesterday?"
sometimes, just for a brief moment i wish i could change for you. Be less weird. Less annoying, less clingy, less jealous, less mean, less me. But then i remember that this is how it's supposed to be. That I will always be like this, and you will always be like you. One day you'll understand what i mean. We aren't made for each other. We aren't what we both always wished to be, what we both mourned for, what we both always said to be, in the hope that somehow it would become true if we just said it out loud often enough.
And like this my fate repeats and repeats, just like with everyone else.
Hi, I'm here to make a request because i desperatey seek some comfort lately and since we are moots and i like your writing i thought i ask but feel free to ignore it. 😊
So I thought about the reader having a toxic family and because of that a very low self-esteem and the member (I would prefer Chan or Felix but honestly you can pick whoever you want) finds her crying because of her family and comforts her. And then she is like "Why are you even dating me?" and the member tells her how how much he loves her and how beautiful and kinde, etc. she is.
It's up to you how toxic you want her family to be. please only write what you feel comfortable with.
I just have some trouble with my own family lately. I hope you are better and remember to stay hydrated! 💕
a/n: hey <33 thank you for the request, and i hope it brings you some comfort. sorry that it took so long! and thank u for the kind words. i hope ur family situation is okay, feel free to talk to me. take care and now enjoy<333
not proofread!
You sat on the cold floor, your back facing the wall. Altough you tried your best not to break down, you couldn’t hold it in anymore. Tears ran down your face, followed with pained sobs. You pulled your knees up to your chin, and wrapped your arms around yourself in an attempt for comfort. It didn’t help.
What brought this break down was nothing really new for you. Your family making fun of you, and yelling hurtful words at you was something you always knew. But this time, it was just too much.
When your mother called you just before, you didn’t even want to pick up, but she was your mother right? And she sounded nice and warmhearted at the beginning. You almost didn’t want to believe it. And unfortunately you were right with not believing that forced sweet voice. After the small talk, she got to the point immediately.
Your own mother had the audicity to beg for money from your boyfriend. And she didn’t even have a good reason. It was so your brothers girlfriend wouldn’t leave him. As stupid as it sounded that’s what it was. Your brother was younger than you, and you always tried to think positively, that maybe you were just being unfair, but deep down you exactly knew that he always got better things than you. He went to a expensive private school, and you on a normal one. He got the newest i-phones, headphones and gaming tools, and you had only the old phone from him. He one time destroyed it with purpose, and what did your parents say? They were sure it was an accident and you sure were old enough to pay for your own phone. And the worst was he wasn’t even thankful.
And you don't even want to think about grades. He didn't care at all about school, having the worst grades ever. You? If you got two points less in a test, your parents would call you a failure, and then give you the silent treatment for days. You were just glad you finished school, and didn't have to share anything about university with them.
When you asked your mother for money one time, when you couldn’t afford a bus ticket, such a simple thing, she didn’t give it to you. Saying that you had healthy legs, and your family needed money for more important things. It was always like that.
So now your brother had the fakest girlfriend ever. She always smiled around your parents, and that was everything she needed to do so they would like her. She always begged your brother to buy her things, and he never hesitated to do so. But no, he didn‘t even take his own money. It was your parents‘. It was unbelievable noone saw what big of a gold digger she was. But when you moved out, you stopped trying to tell them that things were unfair, you stopped letting them treat you as if you were just a problem, that they had to tolerate.
And now your mom really had the audicity to want to take advantage of chans career and money. You could almost laugh. She always despised chan, telling you that he was not the one, and that she was sure that he was a cheater and someone that would leave you when he saw the next best girl. That was so rich coming from a woman, that cheated on her husband on a monthly base.
And coming back to the call, of course you said no. And after you said this one word, the bittersweet tone immediately dropped. She said something about what a bad family member you were, not caring for your family, when you had so much money, and your family needed it. When you still said no, she started yelling at you. You hated when she yelled. And when you couldn’t stand it anymore, you told her what of a shitty mother she has always been, and that she was the unfair one. That your whole family was just toxic, and that nothing was okay like this. That it always was like this. And maybe you should have hung up the call then. For a moment it was just silence. Then she let out a bitter,faked sob, before she literally screamed:
„You think we were unfair to you? You always had enough to eat, and a roof over your head. We never were unfair. Your brother is young, and he deserves to have love, so why won’t you help him? You are such a spoiled, little ungrateful brat y/n! I wish i never had you. Your father is stressed out because of your little manners, and your brother has to suffer because of you. And if i would ask you for money for food? I bet you wouldn’t even give us that! But okay, continue being the biggest bad decision of my life, with your spoiled, stupid singer boyfriend. And when he leaves your bitchy ass don’t come and beg for our forgiveness. Have a shitty life y/n, we won’t have contact anymore.Oh and just so you know, if you think you could ever be good enough for someone, you are living a lie.“
Then she hung up. Just like this. You always tried to convince yourself, that she had just a bad day, when she was like this. That it was hard to be a mother and a wife. But now you saw it clear. She wasn’t just like this because it was her weird way of caring or something. She just simply despised you. Probably she wouldn’t if you were a boy.
But then her words. Was she right? You were always envious of your brother, and all the things he got, also if you didn’t care as much anymore as you got older. But maybe you were ungratefull. What if chan thought the same and just didn’t leave you because he felt pity for you? Were you a brat without even really knowing it?
You wrapped your arms tighter around yourself, as your tears got only more, and your thoughts continued spiraling. Maybe you should beg her for forgiveness, like you always did. You shouldn’t have yelled at her like this, she was your mother and she was right, she always gave you to eat and a roof over the head. So you were being unfair maybe…
Then slowly, another thought crept up in your mind. Her life would be easier without you. And your brothers and fathers too. Maybe chans and all your friends too. Were you really just a burden? It had to be like this, when the person you knew your whole life said that…right?
You didn’t notice how loud you were sobbing, and how hard you were digging your fingers into your head, tangled in your hair, as if you wanted to just rip the thoughts out of your head. Then the front door of your shared apartment opened. But between your loud thoughts, the sobbing and the slight ringing in your ears you didn’t hear it.
Chan’s day was exhausting, and he was just looking forward to snuggle up on the couch with you. When he got in the apartment he wanted to say that he was home, but a noise immediately caught his attention. Sobs, pained and muffled. His eyes grew wide. Did something happen? He quickly kicked his shoes off and dropped his bag to the floor, and then ran into your shared bedroom. His heart broke when he saw you sitting curled up on the floor, sobbing hard, hands tangled in your hair. He quickly ran over to you, crouching down next to you. „Y/nnie, oh my god is everything alright, are you hurt?“ he spoke with a desperate, concerned voice.
You only noticed his presence now, but you didn’t dare to look up, the words from your mother present in your mind.
Chan got only more scared when you just didn’t look up, and instead gripped your hair tighter. He gently but firmly grabbed your wrists, pulling your hands out your hair. You tried to fight him off, and you started screaming between sobs.
„Let me go, i don’t care, please, i’m not worth it.“
Chan had no idea what you meant. You just tried to scratch him with your nails so he would let go. What was going on? He never ever saw you like this. This wasn’t you. But for sure he wouldn’t let go and let you hurt yourself.
„Y/n, stop scratching me, and i’m for sure not letting go. Just try to calm down, and tell me what is going on right now.“ His voice was stern but unbelievable soft. You still fought him, your nails leaving bright red scratches on his wrists, sobbing violently. Why wasn’t he letting go when you were clearly hurting him? Why wasn’t he getting mad and yelling at you? Why wasn’t he just giving up on you like everyone else when you were like this?
But then he suddenly started gently stroking your head, with one hand, your wrists in his other one. The motion was soft and definitely not violent or madly. You stopped scratching him, and screaming your own horrible thoughts in chans face. You just looked at him now, tears streaming down your face, sobs getting quiet.
He gently smiled.
„See? Everythings alright, no reason to hurt or scream at me my love.“ He slowly released your wrists, continuing brushing over your hair soothingly.
You were confused. How was he smiling in this situation. How could he still touch you so lovingly when you just screamed in his face and hurt him? When you looked at his wrists you felt guilty.
Chan saw your body slump as you calmed down, now only silent tears rolling over your cheeks anymore.
He just looked at you, giving you time to calm down. He then slowly wrapped his arms around you, stroking your back. Your tears were falling onto his hoodie, and you didn’t even really register when he lifted you up the floor, carrying you to the bed. He gently laid you down, and sat down next to you. He waited a bit before he spoke up again.
„Love, i need you to talk to me a bit now okay? I need to know what happened that got you feeling and acting like this, so i can help and comfort you alright? I know this wasn’t you, and i know there has to be a reason why you were breaking down like this. Just know you can tell me everything. Don’t pretend with me love.“
You sat up against the wall a bit, sniffling.
„I’m sorry i hurt you, i don’t know what got into me.“ You mumble, looking at your own hands fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.
„I know you are sorry. It’s alright, it doesn’t hurt, it only hurted to see you like this.“
He waits for you to talk again, patiently looking at you.
„It was my mother. She called.“
His eyes softened. He knew that your relationship with your family wasn’t the best, and they weren’t that kind to you.
Then you told him everything, every word your mother said and all your thoughts to it. Your last sentence hurt him deeper than anything else.
„…How can you even be with someone like me? I’m messed up and ungrateful and just a burden-„
He took your hands in his, looking you in the eyes.
„Y/n L/n, if you ever talk about yourself like this again i will have to worry you actually lost your mind. What your mother said, was horrible. And i want you to understand that all of that is not true. You’ve never been a burden to me, and you never could be. And did you just say you believe your not thankful enough? You y/n? The person who gets excited over the smallest things, the person who was so sweet and grateful when i forgot our anniversary and only gifted you a flower? You never wanted me for my money y/n, and you know that, and i know it too. That was always a big fear of mine, that people would only want me for money, my job and stuff. But you proved me wrong. You always loved me for me. If even, i should be happy you even want to be with me. You are the kindest, funniest and best person i know. And no matter what happens, i will always stay with you, as long as you want it. And i’ll make sure these people will never hurt you again. And you know what? I can be your family. I will always love and support you. And if you fall? Then i’m falling with you. And then we get up again, with the help of each other. Exactly like a family should.“
Tears welled up in your eyes again. But this time they weren’t from sadness and the feeling of not being good enough.
„I can’t tell you how much your words mean to me channie.“ You said, a little smile creeping to your face.
He smiled too and wrapped his arms around you from the side again, putting his head on your shoulder.
„That’s the smile i love.“
You wrapped your arms around him too, nuzzling your face into his hair.
„I love my new family.“ you murmured.
„How about we make it official?“ he lifts his head, so he can look into your eyes.
„What do you mean?“ You hold your breath, as you let his words sink in.
„Marry me y/n. I promise to be there for you, no matter what comes.“
For a moment it felt like the whole world stayed still. Did this wonderful man really want to be with you for the rest of his life?
Then a big joyful smile spread across your face, the tear streaks from before seemed as if they were years ago now. The joy literally radiated from you now.
warnings: parents with anger issues, family issues, throwing up, crying, mention of being high, drunk, injury, anxiety, panick
summary: Y/n is lost, trying to get away from her future, drowning out reality with parties and alcohol. But one day something happens, and she breaks. She wants her brother to pick her up, calling him while being a sobbing, drunk mess. But not her brother picks up. Instead it's her brothers best friend minho...
Another drink, another party, another waste of time. You knew that this was exactly what it was as you were standing at the bar, getting more drinks for you and your friends. You stumbled over to them again, laughing and handing everyone their drinks. You weren’t sober anymore. And you also weren’t five drinks ago. And maybe, just maybe you were a bit high too. But you were laughing, dancing with your friends, if you could call them that. It was taking your mind off things, you could say. And you were more than thankful for that.
You would lie if you’d say you liked how your life was going right now. But things weren’t that easy. Your parents were almost never home but if they were, you preffered to be somewhere else. You didn’t remember a time where they didn’t fight. And if you’d get between them, it didn’t look good for you. Anger issues came with a lot of broken things, yelling and sometimes injuries. And what were you to do? You had finished school, and most of your so called friends headed off to university, or made a year abroad. But you? Your grades from school were shit anyways, but now you would never have to care about them again. You should most probably start looking at universities. People always said to you: It’s okay to take a year off before going to university or deciding what to do now,you have time. Did you? You had no idea what to do. Also not next year, and the year after. What did you want to work? Where did you want to live? You knew that it was stupid,and childish, you weren’t naive. But you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Your parents would never be proud of you anyways, no matter what you would study, or work, and it was just easier to be careless.
But unfortunately there was your older brother hyunjin too. You loved him yes but, since you’ve been little kids he always protected and looked out for you, because noone else did. He didn’t push you to make decisions though. And he had a best friend, minho. They always were friends, since you can think. You didn’t like each other that much, more just tolerating each other, altough sometimes you got into fights. But still he seemed to be protective over you, you thought that it was most probably because hyunjin told him to or something.
You always told your brother that you were going to a friends house. There wasn’t a reason to lie to him, but somehow it just made you feel better when he was not worried or knew what you were making out of your life. You could never tell if he believed you or saw right through your lies and just didn’t say anything.
So here you were, totally drunk and a bit high again. You didn’t go out without a reason this time. Your parents had a fight when you got home from school, and stupid like you were you tried to stop them from destroying their own whole house. A vase was thrown at you in the process. But who cared? Another scar less or more didn’t matter now. And if you were drunk it was easier to ignore it too. It was just a scar across your cheek, and you simply told your friend that you tripped and fell on a rock. It was so easy when everyone believed the first answer you told them.
Your friends were yelling over the loud music something about that they would go somewhere, but you didn’t quite understand it. You just nodded. The music was getting louder by any second, sounding weirdly slurred. Your dress suddenly felt way too tight and you wanted to get out of here. Everything spinned. You only saw a weird guy approaching you when he was already really close. Your vision was blurred and you couldn’t quite focus, but you were still able to see that he must be very drunk too. You tried to walk off, where you guessed the exit was. But the man laid an arm around your waist and pulled you close. It made you feel nauseous and sick, the contact also feeling a bit to much like home, it was strong, possesive and angry. You mumbled some apologies that you needed to leave now and tried to free yourself from his tight grip.
„Hey hey hey, sweetie why would you leave? It’s so early, and you don’t look like you had much fun here yet.“ The guy said in a disgusting voice with a chuckle. You didn’t know what to do now. You told him, louder this time, that he should let you go. He only chuckled, gripping you tighter. You didn’t know what to do now. It was crowded everywhere around you, but noone seemed to notice anything. You were starting to panick, the walls closing in on you. Maybe it was the adrenaline from the panick, that gave you the strength to shake off his arm, and you were stepping away, but you didn’t expect what he did then. You thought he’d probably just give up and go to someone else, but he reached forward, grabbing you by your neck really, really hard. You yelped in pain, and you didn’t have a good balance anymore, since you were drunk yourself, so you fell backwards.
Now people were starting to look, and the guy got uncomfortable and quickly stumbled away. Noone tried to stop him. A few people were looking at you, but noone helped you. Your body didn’t quite know the danger was gone now. Tears welled up in your eyes. Shakily you stood up, your neck hurting really bad. You couldn’t stand the people looking at you, and you heard a few people whisper „Isn’t that hyunjins little sister?“ You made your way through the dancing crowd until you were finally somewhere outside. Tears were streaming down your face, probably ruining your make up completely. But you couldn’t care less.
Now the cold air hit you, and you shakily pulled out your phone. It took a bit time until you found the right contact, your vision and body not letting you forget you were drunk and totally wasted. You tapped the call button to your brother. You paced forth and back on the little road, trying not to fall down or pass out.You promised to yourself never to get high again. Finally someone picked up. You were hoping your brother was home.
„H-Hyunjin? P-please i know i shouldn’t call th-this hour but i can’t… please come get me, i don’t know wher i am, and…and i just can’t-„ you tried to talk normal, but failed terribly. Your voice came out in messy sobs, your voice sounding hoarse.
You froze when you heard the voice on the other end.
„Y/n? where the fuck are you and why do you sound drunk.“ It wasn’t your brothers voice. It sounded like minho. You looked at your phone. It was your brothers number, why did he pick up.
„M-minho… Forget that i called i’ll c-call someone else“
„The fuck you won’t. If you don’t tell me where you are right now and why you sound like a crying mess i will find out myself.“
„I- i don’t know… a party, somewhere i- i can’t… don’t know“ You sobbed, not really knowing what you even mean to say. „Please just, tell my brother i- to g..get me“ you sobbed.
„Y/n, send me your location, and i’ll come get you. Dont go anywhere.“ He said in a firm but kinda soft voice. Before you could protest he hung up the call. You didn’t know what else to do right now so you sent minho your location.
Meanwhile you stood there, at the lonely road, a dark forrest next to you. You felt cold, disgusting and all you wanted to do right now, was to take a shower and sleep for a long time. You replayed the night in your head, still feeling the man’s hand on your neck.
When minho’s car pulled up on the road you were sitting on the side of the road, your arms wrapped around yourself, trying to warm yourself up, staring into nowwhere. Minho wanted to yell, to scold you for sitting in the cold, for most probably being entirely wasted but when he saw you something in him clicked. Your messy hair, ruined mascara and the horrified look on your face… He jumped out his car, running over to you, crouching down next to you.
„Y/n, hey are you hurt?“ He scanned your body for any injuries. You stood up without another word, but you stumbled, everything spinning again. Minho was quick to stand up to and steady you . „God how much did you drink y/n.“He mumbled.
You only said „Let’s go home.“ And wanted to go towards the car but he held you back. You flinched, the contact reminding you oft he guy. Minho noticed it immediately. „I’m sorry, did i hurt you?“ he apologized, altough he knew that couldn’t have hurt you, his grip on your wrist was light. Yous hook your head, but continued staring at his hand on your wrist. He slowly let it fall. „Hey y/n talk to me, what is even going on hm? Yes you were partying, wich doesn’t really seem like you but what happened that got you sobbing like i heard you on the phone? Do i need to kill someone?“
You looked down on the ground. „No i just got tired, i’m fine.“
„You cried so hard cause you got tired? Come on. Y/n, seriously if you aren’t going to tell me what the heck happened i’m jsut gonna tell your brother that you did some shit and he better has an eye on you from now on.“ He said, firm but still soft.
You didn’t know what you could do other ways. If you wouldnt tell minho, he would probably find out somewhere and maybe your parents would find out that you’ve been going to parties, getting drunk isntead of studying the whole time, even when you were still at school. You were drunk, tired, scared and the excitement that being drunk and partying brought you was washed away. You couldn’t stand it anymore. So something in you clicked at his words.
„It’s just… i was at that party and i g-got drunk and my friends went somewhere else b-but i didn’t come with them, and then this guy…“ your voice broke.
Minho’s eyes darkened immediately
„Y/n what guy.“
„H-he grabbed me and didn’t want to let me go and it reminded me of m-my parents a-and then i finally pulled away but h-he grabbed my by my neck and it hurt really bad and i fell backwards a-and-„ You didn’t realize you started crying again. You just couldn’t hold it together anymore. You didn’t even mean to tell minho of the thing with you parents, not knowing if your brother told him of the situation with them. But you didn’t care now. Everything was to much, to overwhelming.
Minho seemed like he wanted to murder someone. Wich he in fact wanted.
„Did that bastard hurt you?“ he said in a scaringly calm voice.But you knew better and heard the rage behind it. You said you were fine but out of reflexes you touched the spot he grabbed you. Minho took a step closer, careful to not scare you. He gently grabbed your shoulders. „Y/n, please let me look at it.“ He was trying to be calm. You just nodded weakly. He gently brushed your hair to the side and when he saw the purple bruises he felt like throwing up. He immediately took a step back,clenching his fists.
„Y/n-‘‘
“No please minho i-i know i should have been more careful, i-‘‘you tried to get something out, trembling in fear, and also from the cold. You thought the anger was pointed towards yourself.
„I’m gonna fucking kill that guy.“ He hissed, his knuckles turning white from how hard he was clenching his fists together.
You looked up from the ground. You saw him turning to the building where obviously the party was. No he wasn’t going in right? Please not.As he took a step forward, you also did, causing to stumble again, and falling directly into his arms again. He noticed your trembling. „Please don’t go in there minho please that guy is not worth it.“
He stared at you for a long time, then letting out a long exhale as if he’s been holding his breath the entire time. He sighs and suddenly takes his jacket off, handing it to you.
„You’ll catch a cold in that dress.“ he just said, helping you put it on. You thanked him silently.
His eyes lingered on you for another moment, and then he just wrapped an arm around your waist, guiding you to his car. The touch didn’t feel like the one from the man, or your parents. It wasn’t violently, or angry and making you feel small. It was gentle, making you feel seen. You felt like you experienced this kind of touch the first time.
Minho opened the car door for you, buckling your seatbelt, and then getting into the car on the drivers side. As you were finally sitting, embraced from the warmth of the car you let yourself fall apart once again. Minho quietly started driving, and you closed your eyes, your head leaning against the window. A few more silent tears were spilling through though. It wasn’t just the night this time, it was your whole situation, your whole life in the past months. Minho looked at you, sighing.
„Hey…“ he gently reached out with one of his hands, wiping the tears away to your surprise. „Is it because of your parents? Hyunjin told me that things haven’t been too good lately. He is really worried about you.“
„…It’s i dont know… yes, but also i just feel like i don’t know what to do. I don’t have friends like you are a friend to hyunjin. A friend i could go to when things get hard. My parents would laugh at me and tell me that they have bigger problems, and other than that? Who can i talk to? What does really matter? Does it matter if i get drunk or sleep at night? Does it matter if i go to university or work or do nothing now?“
„You know, you could talk to me.“ He stated. You didn’t know what to answer. But as you tried to think of something to say a gross feeling bubbled up in your stomach. „Minho please stop somewhere there.“ You said, holding your mouth. He ooked over at you, and as he saw what was going on, he quickly stopped at the side of the road. You quickly got out of the car, throwing up into some bushes. Your knees threatened to give in. Of course minho saw it. He quickly came over to you, holding your hair back, and wrapping an arm around your shoulders.
When you were done you felt like passing out.
„hey, sit down, you still look pale.“ Minho softly said, guiding you back to the car. You sat back in, closing your eyes. He didn’t start driving yet. He just patiently waited in his own seat, letting the door open, in case you were still nauseous. You felt his hand brushing your hair back in a soothing manner. „Why did you come? You don’t even like me that much.“
He looked at you confused. „What on earth would make you think i don’t like you?“
„I don’t know, you never really were that nice or i don’t know…“
„I am not that good at showing my emotions. That’s something i’ve always been insecure about, but i can’t do anything about it. And hyunjin kinda always told me since we were kids that he would haunt everyone that touches his sister.“ Minho chuckled a bit. „So i guess i just acted like we were siblings too, and somehow got kinda protective too i don’t know. I’ve always liked you y/n. And to the question why i came, you were calling, sobbing and sounding wasted. Did you really think i would have just left you like this?“ You felt minhos soft gaze on you, his hand still brushing through your hair. You opened your eyes, turning to the side and looking at him. Did he really care about you…?
„i guess i never knew that you liked me that much.“ You said, half jokingly, but it wasn’t a joke.
„I guess so.“ he said very quiet. His hand wasn’t brushing through your hair anymore. Instead it was lingering on your cheek. That single moment felt like forever. Maybe it was a few seconds, or a few hours. You couldn’t tell. Everything that existed in this moment was his warm gaze laying on you, his hand on your cheek, the comforting words from earlier still lingering in the air. You felt as if this little moment was fixing something inside of you. Maybe things weren’t as lost as you saw them. Maybe you just needed help, help that you couldn’t get until now.
Of course no decision couldn‘thave been made that night in the car, and also not after, when minho took you to his place, letting you sleep there, and making you breakfast at the morning.
But from now on things were different. You were lost before. Lost in a dark hole where your parents, school and your own thoughts had pushed you into But minho found you. He was the only light in that hole. And he reached out for your hand. And after a bit hesitation you took it.And he was slowly dragging you out that hole, never letting go.
You two would meet up often, soon being friends as good as minho was friends with your brother.
And soon you would figure things out. With minhos help and support you vaguely found a dream. You wanted to study journalism.
Eventually one year later when you would get an E-Mail that was accepting you at the university that you dreamed of, you would drive to minho without another thought, and he would be the most excited for you. You two would celebrate so much, that even a kiss would be shared. And then, you seemed to have reached your dream. You weren’t scared of your future anymore. Instead you welcomed it. Everyday, no matter if it was a good one, or sometimes a worse one.
And something else. To have love. Not only being loved by someone, a feeling you craved for too long, also loving the one that loved you.
And who knows what the future would bring? Maybe marriage with the guy who found you when you were lost. Maybe some cats with him, and maybe even kids.
But no matter what. You had him and he had you. And as long as it was like this, things would be okay.
am i gonna write jealous emo han, acting tough but actually being the biggest crybaby in the world abt the tiniest things? well idk, my brain is so weird, like why am i doing a literal presentation abt a strong feminism woman and this randomly pops into my mind...(acting like i'm not simping for emo han)
Lee Minho with "Heather" from Conan Gray for the fall series
genre: angst, hurt/no comfort
Warnings: crying, unrequited Love,
Wordcount: 866 w
Fall series masterlist
a/n: soo i love the song heather, and @coichii also reccomended for me to write it so yesss, tell me how yall like it. Reblogs and comments r appreciated! have a cozy fall!<333
You were staring at minho’s sweater in your closet, the smell of his cologne and his cats that always snuggled into his sweaters, long vanished. He asked for it a multiple times, but you always said you didn’t know where it was, until he forgot about it. Just like he did with you.
Everything went down after the third of december. You hoped one day you could forget and move on.
____
The 3rd december: It was cold outside and you were only wearing a thin shirt. Minho and you were meeting in the park at your usual spot, with hot coffees and the latest gossip. When you were shivering he noticed, and he slipped his sweater off, giving it to you. That time, it gave you a warm, fuzzy feeling. Putting it on, you inhaled minho’s unique, comforting scent. „It fits you better than me anyways, smartass.“ He said. You couldn’t stop smiling then, as you continued telling him a story that happened to you lately. But suddenly when you were looking up at him, you stopped mid sentence. He seemed to not be listening anymore, his eyes looking somewhere in the distance. When he didn’t even notice that you had stopped talking, you followed his eyes and then you saw her. A beautiful, tall girl, with long wavy hair and a doll face. You looked at minho again. He wasn’t just looking at her, he was… mesmerized.
Suddenly the girl turned to the both of you, and she gave you a small wave, combined with a smile, pretty like the stars. Well the smile was probably more meant for him. Minho blushed deeply and turned away, starting to walk. You just followed him along, looking to the floor. You both didn’t talk, him on cloud nine, and you more like on the floor. You knew that minho wasn’t feeling the same as you did, but probably you always still had a little hope. But to see him mesmerized by another girl, in a way he never was with you, stung deeply in your heart.
Then minho went home, leaving you alone with the sinking feeling of sadness. When you got home that day, you took his sweater off, throwing it into a corner of your room.
___
After that, minho seemed to grow more distant. He often didn’t reply to your texts, and you wouldn’t meet up at all anymore. At some point you gave up on trying to reach out. He probably wasn’t doing it on purpose, but it hurt. Your best friend growing so distant to you. And not only your best friend….your love.
You felt stupid for wondering why you grew distant, when one day you were walking to the convience store, and you saw him talking to the pretty girl wich’s name was heather how you found out. You stopped walking, just standing there and watching him. You had seen the girl around the town before, and from what you knew she was a literal angel. She was unbelievable kind, so pretty, you couldn’t even describe it, and something in her personality seemed to just fascinate minho. You were ashamed for wishing she wasn’t here, or anywhere in this world at all. You were thrown out of your thoughts when suddenly a shiver wrecked her body, and minho laughed. He took of his sweater, just like with you before, and gently slipped it over her head. They were both laughing, minho seemingly not even a bit cold in his short sleeved shirt. Hesitantly he laid an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer. He blushed and looked away, while heather smiled and laid her head on minho’s shoulder.
But you couldn’t bare this anymore. He was never like this with you. You had never seen him so tender and shy ever before to be honest.
The warmth that seemed to embrace them wasn’t reaching you though. With every move, they did, every laughter they shared, you only got colder. For a second you were glad that minho had only eyes for her, so he didn’t notice a tear slipping down your cheek. He didn’t notice you at all. You cried yourself to sleep that night. Lonely, pained sobs echoeing through your cold, epmty room.
___
Eventually minho asked you to hangout sometime after weeks of radiosilence. You got excited, and agreed. You wished you had just said no, after. The whole time he was rambling about how pretty and smart heather was, and about her cute habits, and how he wanted to ask her to be his girlfriend. When you heard that your breath hitched. You knew sooner or later this would come, but to hear it from minho’s lips was making it real. You faked a smile and told him what a great idea that was.
You were frustrated with yourself, for not telling him of your feelings sooner. Would it have changed anything? Maybe not, but at least you would have assurance.
___
All of that didn’t matter now. Nothing did, as you were sitting on the floor in your room, staring at minho’s sweater. Cold, lonely and feeling forgotten. Oh, how bad you wished you were heather.
Bang Chan with "Silver springs" from Fleetwood Mac for the fall series
Genre: Angst, Hurt/no comfort?
Warnings: metion of crying, none rlly ig
Word count: 1k
Fall series masterlist
a/n: hii, this is based on this req from @asherthehimbo. I didn't know the song before and actually idk if it turned out good or not,help. Well get ur blanket and hot cocoa and have a cozy fall <33
Was it worth everything? To you, oh yes, it was. But chan? No, it wasn’t.
Chan, the man that always worked, always giving his attention to his laptop. You always kind of understood him. You knew how much his job meant to him, because it was the same for your own. And of course you were understanding when he couldn’t come home early somedays, or when he wouldn’t talk to you when he had to finish something. But when this „somedays“ got „always“ you weren’t so understanding anymore.
You weren’t able to count the times you tried to make him see clear. You tried to tell him that of course he could work and do everything he needed to, but maybe at least a bit attention would be nice. At least one time in what, two months? And you knew he understood what you meant. After one night where he came home late and you told him that everything, he was promising to do better, that he would only need to work so much till the comeback, and then he would be fully yours.
The worst thing was, he knew that it was a lie from that moment on. As you were a singer yourself, you probably knew that this was a lie, but you didn’t want to believe it.
It wasn’t that chan was trying to hurt you on purpose. Actually it was the opposite. He didn’t know what to tell you, that wouldn’t make you leaving. So telling a lie that made everything a bit more justified, seemed to be a good solution for the moment. And you wanted to believe him. You stayed quiet when he worked through the nights, sometimes not even coming home, but when he was home, ignoring you entirely.
And then? Well then the comeback was there. All the said work was done, and you were hopefull now everything would go back to… well what you could call normal. But you thought wrong. After that he made up more excuses. Sometimes the boys needed him, sometimes he would have meetings, sometimes he just needed to finish that one track.
And slowly you were growing more and more tired of it. You knew chan was not a bad guy. That was the only reason you didn’t already leave. He was kind, and the people and things he loved mattered more than anything to him. And maybe exactly that was the problem. You never judged him because of that, but from time to time you had to realize that his work more important to him than you. You had wished to at least be just the same important to him as them.
So one night, where you had decided to take things in your own hands with telling him how you felt at a date, he agreed to come and talkt hings out. But what a wonder, he forgot it.
That night you cried yourself to sleep. All the expressed words and feelings in you were simply to overwhelming. But as you did that, you decided that it was the last time, you were doing this because of him. This last night you would be hurting because of him. But tomorrow? That was a new day.
You left. You didn’t say much to him, since he wasn’t really listening to you anyways. But you weren’t a person to break up with someone over text so you just grabbed all your stuff, your key to your shared apartment, and drove to his studio. You went in, laid the key at the table and said you were leaving. The ironical thing was chan didn‘t even look up. He mumbled something of you having to calm down a bit then you two could talk. He was thinking you were just mad at him for working late again and being dramatic. But oh, the fool should have listened to you for once.
Because you, you kept your promise. You didn’t cry again because of him. You were concentrating on your work. You were hearing from stray kids‘ succes since you were in the same branche but that was it already.
And slowly, but firm, you worked your way up. You became more famous, you newest album hitting the charts. You gained lots of fans, succes and more than you could have dreamed off. So basically your name was everywhere now.
But chan, wished it wasn’t. When he finally began to realize that you had left he tried to gain you back for a while but gave up. He tried to tell himself it was alright, when for him it wasn’t. He knew it was his own fault, with the constant lies and excuses, but he wished it ended different. He listened to the records you once made together for fun, every night. And then suddenly you dropped another album, and you gained so much more attention. Chan couldn’t stand it. Your face was haunting him everywhere, on the streets, on social media, and in his dreams. If he would have made time for you, would things have ended different?
Surely he tried to reach out a few times. You weren’t cruel, you always politely declined, or just cut his actions. Because you’d lie if you’d say you didn’t love him. You weren’t sorry for the time spent with him, because at the beginning it made you truly happpy and feel loved. But it just wasn’t right. Maybe things could have been right if both of you tried to change, but you were stubborn. And could you really have changed that much?
Now as time flew by, things were healing for you. You worked to get back the confidence and trust in yourself you lost with chans lies and excuses. You were thinking it was the right decision that you left chan, since you were being more focused on other things, and also having more succes in things you truly loved.
And chan? Well he would move on, after a long time probably. But still, he would never entirely get away from the sound of the woman that loved him.
Snow is so beautiful looking, that sometimes people can‘t resist to touch it. But when their hands and the white crystals meet, they get shaken back to reality. Snow gets to be mesmerizing like nothing else, but it‘s cold. Ice cold.
Moodboard
Chapter 1
A/n: hiii, this is kinda my 200 followers special (THANK U SO MUCH BTW) and i actualy like it pretty much so yesss. I probably won‘t post that regularly, because of school and stuff, but we‘ll see! I‘m super excited, and i hope u are too. Take care of urself and have a good dayy<333
